would you like me to ban you from the threads?
Don't worry, if necessary, I can show myself out. I just forgot I was still following this thread and decided to give it one last chance. If you feel as if I transgressed some kind of rule, then please accept my sincere apologies, the offence wasn't meant. Please see below.
Can we maybe just all behave like adults now? I'm including myself in this. I've grown so tired of everything about this forum that every day I just feel like deleting my account and leaving.
First of all, I'm sorry if I've added to your bad experience with the forum lately. And to think I would do so right after I've returned after half a year. But I don't know what happened elsewhere and online presence can be tiresome, sure.
But mate, I care about you and you know that. I mean, I'm really sorry, but after you taking offence at my flippant comment in the US politics thread I've tried to apologise and explain, but it was to no use, no engagement, just ignore.
Here I tried to once again engage honestly, in good faith and yeah, I admit that it stings a bit that the comment, which was pretty long and took a bit of care (and was meant as a genuine argument/discussion point) was completely ignored and you instead went to argue with 5 again. I mean, my ego can take it, but I really didn't understand if you perceived it as some elaborate trolling or what, because I'm re-reading it and I don't see it.
But you can talk to me, without reservations, without sarcasm, I will always listen to what you have to say and my offer of a private message or video call or something still stands after all this time. Even if I'm supremely annoying to you. Please remember that.
I don't want to be a prick. Despite embracing a completely different worldview, values and everything than most people here (including probably all the mods, which is a bit unfortunate), I am willing to engage with others up to the standard of my general thinking and behaving, sincerely, annoyingly wordily, sure, but honestly. I am convinced that every time when I engaged in some slight trolling on this forum, it was always in proper context and well recognisable. I never intentionally offended anyone, with the one exception where I turned somebody else's offensive remark against them (which I got a warning for).
I can give this forum a differing opinion - an opinion of someone whose political views for example
aren't all that usual anymore, but well-thought out, comprehensive, structured and completely sincere - and striving for the ultimate Good. Also from the experience of someone whose country has experience with unfreedom and which experienced terror from the Right and from the Left. And a (bad) lawyer and (worse) theologian to boot.
Without false humility, I would expect that to be worth engaging with at least a bit.
I don't really know why I feel so dissuaded to participate in these threads. But my heart is telling me there is some hostility towards me. When I left in September, it was after engaging in these threads and after I felt like I was being treated unfairly.
I don't want to complain and nag. Just wanted to share.
Maybe I'm projecting, I don't know. But this is my attempt at an adult response. Also, I wish we had a (small c) conservative or at least centrist mod here as well. When you keep disagreeing with the mods all the time, it's .. awkward. Sometimes it can make you very easily feel somewhat bullied. Again, sorry, don't want to whine.
* inhales *
* exhales *
If you can get behind what I wrote above and if you believe that wicked as I may be, I genuinely want to be a good person and want me to be present on the entire forum as I used to be, please tell me so.
I can solemnly swear there has never been a bad intent behind my behaviour in the last 12 years that I've been a member. And you know I take such oaths seriously, because I say them in front of someone.
But a good faith from me should result in good faith from you.
But I can also leave these threads and refrain from engagement. I think I'll leave it up to you, mates.