The Simpsons and Futurama quotes thread

Perun

Perun

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What the title says. Every decent board should have one of these, and here it is. I'm making the lead with three of my absolute favourites:

(From The Simpsons)

Ape: "Help, the human's about to escape."
Human: "Get your paws off me, you dirty ape."
Apes: "He can talk!
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk"
Human: "I can siiiiiing!"

Nurse Ape: "Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!"
Apes: (To the tune of Rock Me Amadeus) "Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius
Oh... Dr Zaius"
Ape: "Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius."

Human: "What's wrong with me?"
Dr Zaius: "I think you're crazy."
Troy: "Want a second opinion."
Dr Zaius: "You're also lazy."

Apes: "Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius
Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius
(Ape starts to breakdance)
Oh... Dr Zaius"
Ape: "Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius"

Human: "Can I play the piano anymore?"
Dr Zaius: "Of course you can."
Human: "Well I couldn't before!"

(Plays piano, Dr Zaius looks astonished)

Human: "I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No you'll never make a monkey out of me"

(Statue of Liberty appears in the background)

"Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You've finally made a monkey"
Apes: "Yes we've finally made a monkey"
Human: "Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me"
Apes: "Yes we've  finally made a monkey out of you"
Human: "I love you, Dr Zaius!"



Krusty: (appears dressed as a vampire) "Hey! Hey! Tonight, I'm going to suck!"
(Bloke flips cue cards)
"Your blood!"



(From Futurama)

"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"You're cute."
"Good Lord! She's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you."
 
From The Simpsons, Season 4, Duffless episode:

Homer: W, X, Y, and Z. Now I know my ABCs, won't you come and play with me.
Eddie: Flawless.
Lou: We also would have accepted, "tell me what you think of me."
Eddie: Well, I guess your free to...
Barney: Give him the breathalyzer!
Homer: Huh?
Lou: You're under arrest!
Homer: D'oh!
 
Groundskeeper Willie: "Aye, it won't last, though.  Brothers and sisters are natural enemies.  Like the Scots and the English.  And the Scots and the Irish.  And the Scots and the Japanese.  And the Scots and the Scots.  Damn Scots!  They ruined Scotland!"
 
Homer: "Lisa, relax, it's lamb, not a lamb."  I'm sure vegetarians cringe over that one. :D

Homer: "Lisa, aren't you going to eat any animal again?  What about bacon?"
Lisa: "No."
"Pork chops?"
"No.
"Ham?"
"Dad, those all come from the same animal."
"Hehehe.  Ooh, yeah, right Lisa.  A wonderful, magic animal."


"You got the black one."  (credit to the one who knows where this is from)

Willie: "There's nary an animal that can outrun a greased Scotsman."

Homer: "Son, if something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.  You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle, and we'll go watch TV."
 
Krusty: "I thought I was a self-hating Jew, but it turns out that I'm just an antisemite."
 
Zapp Brannigan: Kilf, have the boy lay out my formal shorts?
Kilf Kroker: The boy, sir?
Zapp Brannigan: You Kilf, you lay out my formal shorts.
 
Bart Simpson is learning to gut fish...
Bart: I think I finally found what I was born to do! Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out...
Magic fish: I am a magical fish! Spare my life and I will grant you three wishe--
Bart: (killing the magic fish) Knife goes in, guts come out...
 
Dead hologram robots: Come Bender, you'll enjoy being dead!
Bender: That's what they said about being alive.

Futurama is brought to you by.....Molten Boron! Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron!
 
Fry: Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?


Also, if that's not the American dream, I don't know what is.
 
Bender: (Hugging Leela and Fry) Being with you guys is the best time I've ever had. Hey, a suicide booth! So long, suckers!
 
No Simpsons but it sounds a bit like it:



L.A. Weekly: Rob, how are you?

Rob Halford: I'm fine. Did you survive the earthquake?

L.A. Weekly: I was in Northern California at a UFO convention.

Rob Halford: Oh, for the band?

L.A. Weekly: No, not the band.

Rob Halford: The things in the sky?

L.A. Weekly: The things in the sky.
 
Doctor (to Mr Burns): Here's the door to your body, see?  And these are oversized novelty germs. That's  influenza, that's bronchitis, and this cute little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer.

Moe: Hey, whaddaya know?  It floats!
Homer: That was my plan all along.  Now, relax and the currents will take us home.
Bart: What about the people on the bottom?
Homer: They're the greatest heroes of all.  Hey!  Something's clawing at my leg!  (pause) Okay, it stopped.
 
Homer: Uh... you have any sugar around here?
Hank Scorpio: Sugar? Sure. (fumbles in his pockets, takes out a few handfuls of sugar) There you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Want some cream?
Homer: Uh... I... no.
 
When I saw Nation Acrobat's link, I found this, CHECK IT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cReHCdLBB5Y&feature=related

Bit amateur, but still funny...

1)

Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!
[wins again]
Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!
Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
Clyde Smith: No!
[turns to a woman sitting next to him]
Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!
Bender: Saw it coming.

2)
[Dr. Zoidberg is preparing to look for a mate]
Dr. Zoidberg: How do I look?
Bender: Like whale barf.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then the illusion is complete.

3)
Cletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.
Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth?
Cletus: The sidewalk.

4)
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

5)
Leela: Please, Professor... give us our jobs back. We deserve another chance.
Bender: Yeah. And if you won't give me another chance perhaps you'd give one to...
[Puts on the gorilla mask]
Bender: Og. Gorilla Emperor of Earth.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Sorry, Og. But I've got a new crew.
[to Hermes, Amy and Zoidberg, who are coming out of the ship]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: So, how was your delivery to Fantasy Planet where everyone's fantasies come to life?
Amy Wong: Great.
Hermes Conrad: Organized.
Dr. Zoidberg: For one beautiful night I knew what it was to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

Man, I'm glad Futurama's coming back...
 
OK, this isn't a quote (and I know I'm bumping an old thread)-- Beast With a Billion Backs is on, and I just saw the bit where Bender drinks his way into the Robot club (or whatever it is called)... I so love that show. My kids all love that show.  I think I'm gonna buy it for myself for xmas.
 
Nah...

with the new movies, and the show relaunching, this thread is always valid...  :bigsmile:


Dr. Zoidberg: I thought I was fighting for my freedom!
Professor Farnsworth: NO!


(only funny if you remember the context...)
 
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