The Greatest Metal Song Cup - Part II, Round 4, Matches 82-87

[MrKnickerbocker]

The guitars in that Slipknot song sound like wet farts and the kick drum sounds like a sample, but the proper tune is solid. Good melodic vocals from Taylor, nice heavy and dramatic chorus, and some okay riffs at certain points. I will not vote for Limp Bizkit.

I will not lie: I did not and I will not listen to a 28 minute Manowar song. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit. Unleash The Archers are amazing and deserve to go far in this game, even though I doubt they will. Easiest vote so far in the entire game of Soulbound.

Welcome Home has typically decent music (though the production here is super flat) and typically ridiculous Mickey Mouse vocals from King Diamond. As always, I admire the instrumental yet cannot stop myself from laughing throughout the entire piece. I’ll never understand how this guy is taken seriously. Hand of Doom isn’t my favorite track on Paranoid, but it’s still a classic early metal track with some serious vibes during the verses. Good tune and far better than Big Mickey’s Day At The Monster Farm.

• Kiss of Death is fine, but ludicrously 80s. It’s got every 80s rock cliche in spades: steady boom-bap, pick squeals, gang vocals, occasional slow gallops, vocal wail leading into the solo, ridiculously long outro…overall, it’s a fine slab of overproduced 80s shtick.
• In The End is fine, but ludicrously 2010s. It’s got every 2010s rock cliche in spades: millennial whoop intro, arena-ready chorus, vocal-driven broken down verse, ending the chorus over an instrumental break and then repeating that same line with some vocal FX, 17 repetitions of the chorus…overall, it’s a fine slab of 2010s pop music with surprisingly good guitar work pasted on top.
• Walking in the Shadow of the Blues is fine, but ludicrously 70s. It’s got every 70s rock cliche in spades: dramatic instrumental intro driven by a rock organ, bluesy riffs that wrap around pentatonic white guy vocals singing the blues, stompy 4 on the floor perfect for the lead singer to sway around while wearing a half-buttoned white shirt, big and bendy blues guitar solo…overall, it’s a fine slab of overproduced 70s shtick.

Don’t really care who wins here. I guess I’ll vote for Whitesnake as I think they have the best vocalist.

In my write-up of Tarot earlier this year, I had this to say regarding Stigmata:

And finally, the title track plods in to give us another overly long doomy number. It's perfectly adequate, but it just feels like that band has written this exact song 5 times already. The double time at the end is nice, though. As with the previous Tarot albums, there is a lot of ups and downs here, but it is nice to hear Marko coming into his voice and finally getting a decent vocal production.

I have to say, given some breath and not in the middle of a Tarot deep dive, the song sounds much better. It’s got great atmosphere, and, of course, Marko. Melissa is one of the best King Diamond-sung tracks I’ve ever heard because he keeps his voice to a slightly less obnoxious range most of the time. It’s another great Mercyful Fate instrumental track, and I’m sure it will win, so I’ll give a vote to Marko’s Other Other Band.

Dark Funeral bring to the table my least favorite kind of harsh vocals: the kind that actually sound like they hurt. The music is fine enough, but I just can’t with the vocals. But Bathory…damn. It’s like someone playing thrash metal in a basement three houses down while the vocalist throws up. I greatly dislike both of these, but I’ll vote for Hades solely because it is half the length of Atrum Regina.

 

[Jer]

"My Way" has an OK melancholy verse, then the pre-chorus gets worse, and the chorus is a complete shit show. What a whiny little posing douche Fred Durst is. Blecch. "The Devil In I" has OK riffage outside of the trills, and the bass + clean stuff is nice. The verse and pre-chorus vocals are actually pretty good, but the chorus is a mess even before you consider the bad grammar. The shouty bridge with the stupidly busy percussion afterward doesn't do the song any favors either. Not a fan of either song, but this is still a clear win for Slipknot. Winner: Slipknot - "The Devil In I"

"Achilles, Agony, And Ecstasy In Eight Parts" is a nearly 30 minute long song by fucking Manowar, of all bands. The half-sung vocal style is bad enough for a short song, let alone something this long. The riffs are basic and the songwriting is completely overblown. The hymnal / organ / choral part is alright, minus the spoken parts of the main vocals, and the harmonized guitar interlude that follows is nice, if a bit too long. WTF is with this percussive jazz odyssey interlude? Is this a joke? I'm ready to bail out at the 11 minute mark, but I guess I have to see this through. We eventually get some synth wind stuff that's OK, along with some silly whispers, and then it goes full Disney for a while. For fuck's sake, this thing is barely over half done now. Zeus the thunderer, yeah, whatever. The bass-driven part with clean guitar starts off OK, then descends into unforgivable absurdity quickly. I'm starting to wonder if @____no5 can be charged with a war crime for making us listen to this. Maybe half of the guitar fills toward the end are pretty decent, but the rest are trash. Yeah, that was pretty awful overall. "Soulbound" had more musical value in its first 30 seconds than the Manowar track did in its nearly 30 minute run. The growls can suck my ass, but the vocal melodies are pretty good and there are some interesting harmonies too. Good energy throughout, and a cool solo. Maybe a little more synth-forward than I'd prefer, but otherwise pretty strong. Sorry, @____no5, but this is the easiest of easy calls for @Wogmidget's nominee. Winner: Unleash The Archers - "Soulbound"

"Welcome Home" has some interesting rhythmic play, but the vocal melodies aren't that memorable outside of the chorus(?), and I'm not sure the song holds together too well in general. King Diamond also leans into the more annoying aspects of his voice for large parts of the song. Nice solos, though. Pretty mediocre outside of the highlights. "Hand Of Doom" is...fine, I guess. The vocal lines are OK, but nothing special. Same for the guitar parts. It turns into a completely different song at the 2 minute mark which is equally mediocre. About the only thing this track has going for it is the moodiness of its softer parts. Not a fan of either track here, and I guess they're pretty close in quality, but sorry @DJ James, I think the list nominee had higher highs and at least it didn't commit the sin of boring me the way the Sabbath track did. Winner: King Diamond - "Welcome Home"

"Kiss Of Death" is great from start to finish. It was definitely in the running for my top 25 list, but didn't quite make the cut. Don and George both sound great here -- the vocal lines are killer, the guitar leads sizzle, and the bit toward the end with Don's high notes and the guitar swirling around each other is excellent. The drums are a bit pedestrian, and the studio recording maybe isn't quite as firey as it could have been, but those are really just nitpicks. "In The End" is effective enough as a pop song, and some of the guitar leads are pretty good, but it's hard for me to get on board with something that comes off like Imagine Dragons playing heavy metal dress-up for Halloween. "Walking In The Shadow Of The Blues" is very much a product of the 70s, but I can get into a good guitar and organ groove. The vocal lines in the verse and pre-chorus are strong, but the chorus is kind of a dud. I like the extended solo, though. Not bad, but sorry @The Sentient, I've gotta go with Don and George on this one. Winner: Dokken - "Kiss Of Death"

"Stigmata (I Feel For You)" has a cool opening groove and some nice bass-forward action under the verse. The singer didn't quite sell me on the verses, but he sounds pretty good on the rest. I guess this is proggy doom...? Pretty good solo. Solid enough overall, though I did start to check the clock around the 7 minute mark. "Melissa" has a nice melancholy opening with a strong guitar lead. King Diamond's weepy delivery works pretty well here, and many of his higher notes aren't as annoying as they could be. Nice solos and some pretty good riffs. The songwriting could maybe be a little more coherent, but this is pretty strong overall. Sorry, @Diesel 11, but I think the list nominee edges yours out here. Winner: Mercyful Fate - "Melissa"

"Atrum Regina" does some nice stuff with the guitar melodies and harmonies within the trilly black metal framework. The vocals are laughably awful, of course. Bonus point for including a tasteful bass solo, though. Checking the clock at the 3 minute mark. My patience has officially been expended by the 5 minute mark, but I'll muddle through. The outro is better. Well, that certainly could have been much worse, I guess. "Hades" sounds like a bathroom demo of something from Metallica's Kill 'Em All, but with more cackly vocals. I guess there isn't much more to say about it -- it's short, to the point, enjoyable enough for what it is, but almost 100% derivative, which is hilarious since it's from an album that many people point to as the patient zero of black metal. Well, this is a quandary -- do I go for the song with more musical value that runs way too long and has intolerable vocals, or the song that was more digestible and didn't wear out its welcome, but just sounds like the product of a bad Metallica cover band? I guess in this particular moment I'm leaning more toward musical value. Sorry, @DJ James, but I'm going for @Perun's nominee this time. Winner: Dark Funeral - "Atrum Regina"

 

[srfc]

Limp Bizkit - My Way vs. Slipknot - The Devil in I
Limp Bizkit was musically a bit more laid back, and better, than I was expecting. The arrangement was quite bad though, just alternating between the same two parts. Vocals were shit, and quite funny when he was going on about checking out his one note melody. Slipknot was not my thing but clearly on a league or two above the original red hat dickhead. The Devil in I

Manowar - Achilles, Agony, and Ecstasy in Eight Parts vs. Unleash the Archers - Soulbound
Most of my listening is done on work tea breaks, trying to fit a few songs in at once, so was never going to get the whole of this song in. I got about 7 or 8 mins. I have the album so I've heard it at least once before. The concept is preposterous, but to be fair to it, in the sections I heard it was far from shit. The singer has a good voice and can hit notes, but he always sounds like he's singing the same song, whether it be about the agony and ecstasy of Achilles or whether speakers explode or not, he always has the same delivery. Unleash the Archers was pretty solid, the only shit part was the guitar and synth doubled, otherwise good. Soulbound

King Diamond - Welcome Home vs. Black Sabbath - Hand of Doom
Welcome Home is standard King Diamond, I like most of the stuff that I've heard but never thought there was enough in it to buy more than the two records I have. Hand of Doom smashes this all over the park. One of the best tracks from a true all timer album Hand of Doom

Dokken - KISS of Death vs. Black Veil Brides - In the End vs. Whitesnake - Walking in the Shadow of the Blues
Dokken riff must have been heard by Adrian Smith as it's El Dorado,does he reprise that riff from the track @Jer had in earlier sound in the outro, the bit Roy Z robbed for Laughing in the Hiding Bush? Pretty good anyway. Black Veil Brides is quite bad, just a pop song in disguise. Whitesnake, great, great vocal and great solo. Walking in the Shadow of the Blues

Tarot - Stigmata (I Feel for You) vs. Mercyful Fate - Melissa
Tarot feels like a not so good impression of something Dio might have done. It's not bad, but I'm not rushing to check anything else out. The prominent bass is the most idiosyncratic feature. Melissa is brilliant. Melissa

Dark Funeral - Atrum Regina vs. Bathory - Hades
Dark Funeral the music is alright, pretty good to be fair, I might be inclined to listen to it if there was some sort of vocal. Bathory is pretty poor to be fair, there might be an alright track there but I can barely hear it under the hiss. It's standard NWOBHM with some proto-extreme vocals Atrum Regina

 

[JudasMyGuide]

I don't have the time to play the songs this time before the voting is closed, so unless @LooseCannon plans to postpone the cut-off time (unlikely) because, dunno, he himself knows he won't have time for it right now, I'll be voting from memory, general band opinions, forum members preference (favourite member > member > anonymous list) etc.

So, I think I'll vote for Limp Bizkit in the first round, although Slipknot are the band I could actually imagine listening to. Why? Because you all pissed me off with all the Linkin Park veneration. I have no investment in this match, so I can troll a bit.

It's absolutely insane for a band like Manowar to recreate The Illiad in an half-an-hour track with two drum solos and a base solo, I can't not vote for it, for the sheer ambition and ridiculousness. My favourite Manowar track, in a way.
Archers are good but again, overrated on this forum, so I'll go with the presumed underdog.

Sabbath over Diamond any time, although Paranoid is actually my least favourite album from their first "Immaculate Six" (self-titled -> Sabotage).

Whitesnake because it's the only song nominated by a member (I suspect I might like the Dokken track more if I listened to them all, but it is what it is)

TAROT and MARCO over list-nominated Mercyful Fate, duh.

I don't remember this Dark Funeral album/song and I know this Bathory song is from their/his era I like the least, but again, I couldn't play the songs against each other, so I just checked the lyrics and the Hades ones are much more palatable, sorry, Perun, I usually try to vote for your nominations (or at least as much as I can).

 

[Spambot]

Match 235 - Limp Bizkit
Cold blooded, and without inch of shame, I'm clicking Limp Bizkit. Some of us grew up listening to Limp Bizkit. Cool ones still do. Fred Durst may be annoying, but his competitor is Corey Taylor, who released his solo album "CMFT". Oh, Corey Maiden Fan Taylor! No. MF stands for mother fu*****. Not only he did not thought this was bad, he is actually going to bless the world next year with "CMFT 2". I'll take that Yankee-cap-backward-wearing-jock any day of the week. Twice on weekends.

Match 236 - Unleash the Archers
28 minute Manowar song? I'd vote for anything else, even if the opposite song completely sucks (and "Soulbound" doesn't. Not even close.)

Match 237 - Black Sabbath
In a match of annoying vocals which I usually like to skip, both King and Ozzy managed to surprise me. King in a bad way and I forgot Ozzy can actually sound cool when he is not reaching too much. I'll have to return to Paranoid some day, I remember it had some cool moments.

Match 238 - Black Veil Brides
What kind of match-up is this? I have no idea how to vote here. Imagine if somebody asks you what do you like more: WhatsApp, Thursday or salt? Guess I'll vote for Black Veil Brides, and not because it has same title as Linkin Park. I'm voting for it because I'm young and hip and nobody understands me.

Match 239 - Tarot
Damn, "Mellisa" has so much going for it instrumentally and compositionally, but I just can't not get used to King's vocal. I'm aware once it clicks you don't hear it as whining anymore, but I guess I'm far away from that. Tarot was OK-ish, expected a bit more variety for an 8-minute track.

Match 240 - Dark Funeral
Either one didn't do much for me, but although Dark Funeral's song was longer, it also had much better production which means it had less chance to being skipped if it came on some random playlist.

 

[MindRuler]

Two nice discoveries this round:
Unleash The Archers!
Yes, it wasn´t their first song in the cup but this one impressed me more. I think I will check them out!
Tarot!

 

[____no5]

Limp Bizkit - My Way vs Slipknot - The Devil in I -->Not even close. First a sympathetic pop song second a heavy powerhouse.
Manowar - Achilles, Agony, and Ecstasy in Eight Parts vs Unleash the Archers - Soulbound -->Achilles is one of my Top 10 metal songs so... Plus they got the story line of Iliad the poem right, super obvious that they read it carefully not just the Wikipedia plot.
King Diamond - Welcome Home vs Black Sabbath - Hand of Doom -->Difficult choice, Black Sabath for their creepy creepy bass lines.
Dokken - KISS of Death vs Black Veil Brides - In the End vs Whitesnake - Walking in the Shadow of the Blues -->Support to fellow Maidenfan. Dokken also good.
Tarot - Stigmata (I Feel for You) vs Mercyful Fate - Melissa -->Oh no. Diesel taught me Melissa and now I have to vote against him.. Fuck. Stigmata is a great song though.
Dark Funeral - Atrum Regina vs Bathory - Hades -->Epic battle. Dark Funeral is an awesome breathtaking song but I cannot vote against a true saint of metal as Quorthon is.

 

[JudasMyGuide]

Also, I couldn't listen to the songs before voting, but now I had, like, 3 minutes - I used those to check the Unleash the Archers song and my fears were validated:

Honestly, I have a problem with modern metal production in general - the extreme releases are often brickwalled to death (and some of the non-extreme as well) and sometimes it feels really artificial and as if a computer individually tweaked every single layer of sound - I understand that in metalcore, but it turns me off modern thrash and it is for example one of the reasons I can't like Unleash the Archers as much as the rest of the forum seems to.

The Priest albums you mentioned are also like that.

Again, this. I really want to like the band, they are genuinely great, but the production is terrible, I just wish they went and re...dunno, mixed? Mastered? Recorded, probably the songs to sound a bit less... annoyingly artificial. The sound... I realise that for many people it might be palatable, but don't tell me it's actually preferable for anyone.

 

[MrKnickerbocker]

I would take a million overproduced brickwalled Unleash the Archers songs over a single Manowar song, regardless of production, forever and always.

 

[Jer]

I would take a million overproduced brickwalled Unleash the Archers songs over a single Manowar song, regardless of production, forever and always.

But what if Dio or Russell Allen had guest starred on a Manowar song...?

 

[MrKnickerbocker]

But what if Dio or Russell Allen had guest starred on a Manowar song...?

That would never happen. Dio would rewrite it to be not terrible and thus it would become a Dio song. Russell Allen would charge them too much.

 

[Jer]

does he reprise that riff from the track @Jer had in earlier sound in the outro, the bit Roy Z robbed for Laughing in the Hiding Bush?

It's similar, but "Kiss Of Death" and "Mr. Scary" are from the same album, so some tonal overlap isn't surprising.

 

[Jer]

That would never happen. Dio would rewrite it to be not terrible and thus it would become a Dio song.

So is "The Chase" from Queensrÿche's Operation: Mindcrime II actually a Dio song...?

 

[MrKnickerbocker]

So is "The Chase" from Queensrÿche's Operation: Mindcrime II actually a Dio song...?

Queensrÿche and Manowar are not equatable. The former can write music just fine, they just had an obnoxious singer, the latter is bad from pen to paper to production.

 

[LooseCannon]

Again, this. I really want to like the band, they are genuinely great, but the production is terrible, I just wish they went and re...dunno, mixed? Mastered? Recorded, probably the songs to sound a bit less... annoyingly artificial. The sound... I realise that for many people it might be palatable, but don't tell me it's actually preferable for anyone.

I think they sound really good. Clean, I can hear everything going on (except for during Abyss when the bass was lower in the mix as they were sort of between bassists at the time), and they can reproduce the basic sound live quite easily, no unfair production tricks. I'm no production expert, and I can't speak more to it than "I like it" and "I don't" generally. But I like the way their albums sound.

 

[Magnus]

they are genuinely great

I find them boring and annoying whatever the production (which is hardly important to me anyway).
#WhatsWrongWithMe

 

[Magnus]

^ Think I figured it out eventually.
Looks like it's Stuff I'd Never Heard Before vs. Stuff That's Nothing New, Really.
All the music I like, it seems, from 80s Maiden to Venom, early Candlemass, Bathory, Sodom, Slayer, Sabbat, Nuclear Assault, Norwegian Black Metal etc.; from Scheidt, Walther, Vivaldi, Telemann, Molter, Muller, Fasch and Heinichen through Kraus, Alfvén, Alwyn, Bax and Tveitt to Pärt and Vasks and many others fall into the first category.
Perhaps that's why I never found anything in Dio Sabbath, Queensrÿche, Dream Theater, Nightwish and other stuff adored here, including later Iron Maiden, which certainly doesn't.
Or I'm just deaf, or old. Could be.

 

[Diesel 11]

I really did not expect to be voting for Limp Bizkit but holy shit that Slipknot song was boring as fuck. At least I could see "My Way" being turned into a banger nu metal track if Deftones or Linkin Park had written it and that little bitch Durst was kept as far away as possible. It's annoying but at least I can see the makings of a good song in there, whereas "The Devil in I" is all I, no Devil.

The fact that some of you are skipping this Manowar song hurts me because the roasts would be incredible. It's easily the most inspired song they've had in the game yet, and finally those stupid ass lyrics fit thematically. But also - nothing happens during this song. It's 28 minutes long, incorporates drum, bass, and guitar solos and overall just sounds like they're really trying to stretch the limits of the clock. It doesn't drag but it does not go anywhere at the same time. Amazing. I'd have voted for it over a weaker opponent, but Unleash the Archers are not a weaker opponent even if their sound feels like they were mass-produced in a factory. And the harsh vocals are the cherry on top!

"Welcome Home" has THREE VOTES??? THREE??? I'm about to fully disassemble. The silliest yet most incredible song King Diamond song ever released and it's getting slaughtered by like the seventh best track on Paranoid. Come on! How you can't be fully drawn into the hilarity of him screaming "GRANDMAAAA" and then also utterly thrilled by the guitar solos from Andy LaRocque and Pete Black. Fuck off.

HOLD THE PHONE. Why is Whitesnake's lame ass rock song beating Dokken's fiery "Kiss of Death"??? The hell is wrong with you people. It's a fantastic song, a classic for a reason, with a killer chorus, killer riffage, and some of Lynch's best soloing. 10000x better than that honky tonky wonky snoozefest from Coverdale and Co., not to mention the pop punk nonsense from BVB.

Okay folks. Alright. (Please, Jesus, give me strength.) Let's get it together, gang, we still got this. I ain't gonna pretend that "Stigmata" is perfect, it certainly stomps about a bit too much, but it stuck out to me when Knick and I went through Tarot at the start of the year. It felt like the beginning of something great that was never realized as the band instead treaded towards more commercial waters and Marko joined Nightwish. It's a strong song throughout, sinisterly sung from what seems to be the narrative of a god-like villain. Everything is worth it just for that outro. Now why y'all are choosing "Melissa" to be the one Fate/Diamond song to get your backing is beyond me, because it's one of their weakest classic tracks. But there's still time for Marko to pull ahead. I believe in you.

Well I think Jer has found his new favorite band since Bathory basically is just Megadeth with shittier production. Me, I'll go with Dark Funeral, even though Knick is right in that some parts of this song sound like the vocalist is not using proper technique at all. But it's still strong and his suffering is a decent addition to the overall track.

 

[Confeos]

I really dislike Slipknot, but I absolutely despise Limp Bizkit. Slipknot wins by default (and also, I've heard worse from them than "The Devil in I").

I've said so numerous times: I enjoy Manowar's music a lot. But this is only the second time ever I've heard "Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy" in full, because it's simply too much. There are some good bits in there, but it's way too long, and those extended solos do absolutely nothing for me. Unleash the Archers are somewhat overrated, I feel, but this is a decent track - usually, I don't think the growls work at all when they try to incorporate them, but here they're actually quite good.

This game keeps trying to make me friends with King Diamond, but it still ain't happening. I'm not blown away by the music either. "Hand of Doom" is a lesser Paranoid song, but the quality of that album is so high that it wins easily here anyway. Black Sabbath.

In the threesome, I'm going with a great, classic Whitesnake tune - the other two did absolutely nothing for me, and I've already forgotten how they went.

Marko sounds great on "Stigmata", but the track itself is overlong and plodding. However, when going up against another batch of vocal ridiculousness from King Diamond, it's still my preferred choice. Tarot.

I consider myself a big fan of Bathory, or of their so-called viking metal albums, that is. The first three albums, not so much. I don't think the production is that bad, though, at least not compared to some other black metal releases. I'm still gonna go with Dark Funeral, simply because there was more meat on their song.

 

[DJ James]

… Bathory basically is just Megadeth with shittier production.

Is this like an ironic bit you’re doing or is this a genuine opinion.