A
Anonymous
Guest
Here are a couple of insanities from recent everyday life. The characters are:
Perun (P) -- This is me.
Perun's Mate (PM) -- These are various people.
Perun's Co-worker (PC) -- These are also various people.
Perun's Boss (P
-- This is a person whose identity I'm not sure of.
Perfect Stranger (PS) -- These are some unpleasant folks.
Perun's Brother (PBro) -- This is Perun's brother.
A Certain Someone (ACS) -- This is a certain someone.
P contacts ACS.
P: Wanna do something on Friday?
ACS: Sure. What do you have in mind?
P: Uhh.... P checks the cinema programme without finding anything interesting How about going to the cinema? How about the one in Nuremberg?
ACS: Sure, sounds good.
They agree on meeting at the train station to go to Nuremberg together. P calls PBro, who lives in Nuremberg.
P: Hey PBro, can you tell me where than cinema is? Isn't it right down the street from the main railway station?
PBro: Uh, no, it's not that simple. I suggest you take the underground from the main railway station, one station in that direction, get out, and then to your left.
P: Thanks! You saved my life!
P is happy. The week passes. Friday comes, P is excited. He finally meets ACS at the train station. They have a nice ride to Nuremberg. ACS has no idea where the cinema is, although she's been there once 'a couple of years ago'. P remembered PBro's description in detail. They get out, get to the underground and are amused about the strange folks running around in medieval clothes. They ride one station and get out to their left. They find themselves outside the medieval city walls of Nuremberg.
P: Uh...
ACS: I'm following you.
P: Yeah...
P has no idea where they are, so he goes the only possible way, which leads them around the city walls.
ACS: We're gonna die.
P: No, we're not. And if we are, we're not going to die here.
They walk around for about a quarter of an hour until they find a tram station that takes them back a few stations.
ACS: We're gonna die.
They get out at a station seeing a sign to the cinema. They follow the sign, go around a curve, and there it is in its full glory. P glances to his left. Down the street, he sees the main railway station.
P goes to a party on Friday. He meets some old mates he hasn't seen for a while. He gets the latest news, has fun, drinks the odd beer. For a while he is the DJ. Somebody asks for 'The Smurfs'- not available, so P chooses the closest thing- Manowar.
At some point, P finds himself locked in a conversation with some people at a table. He sits opposite to PS, a rather ugly female of his age whom he had heard some really bad stories of (including her temporary stay at the funny farm).
P: Blablablablabla
PMs: Blablablablabla
PS: Oh, so you work there, blablablablabla
P: Blablablablabla
P can't help to notice that PS is staring at him all the time.
PS: So, I forgot, what's your name?
P: P.
PS: And who is your girlfriend?
P: Uh, I don't have one at the moment.
PS: Eyes glow That is very good.
P feels uneasy but is technically still locked in the conversation. He clinches to his Vodka Orange.
Some time later, PM#1 comes to P. He used to be PS's boyfriend.
PM#1: P, I have to tell you something. PS thinks you're cute!
P: He is usually very considerate and tactful in such situations. SHIT!
P clinches to some more Vodka Oranges, even though he does not see PS anymore that evening. On Sunday, PM#2 calls P.
PM#2: Sorry, I wanted to call you yesterday, but was unable to. Umm... did you return home safely on Friday night?
P: Yeah...
PM#2: Yeah, well, I wasn't so sure, because when you got out of the car you ran right into the bus station.
P: Did I?
PM#2: Yeah, that was after you puked into PM#3's car. But don't worry, it's clean again.
P: Oh. Pause. Remind me to apologise for that next time I see PM#3.
PM#2 laughs. P tries not to think of that evening anymore.
P: Hey, Maiden released a new record, and it's brilliant!
PM: I'm not interested.
P: Why? I thought you like Maiden!
PM: They used to be good, but they started sucking with Dance Of Death.
P: Come on, give it a spin.
PM: Maybe.
A while later, PM calls P.
PM: Hey! Manowar are playing in Nuremberg on 22. December! Wanna go?
P (dry voice): No, mate. I'm going to see Maiden in London on that day.
PM (even dryer voice): Oh.
PC#1: Could you come over to my office on Monday? I've got some things for you to do.
P: Sure, I hope it won't take more than a day, though.
PC#1: You're very optimistic. I expect it to take at least a week.
P: Well, you might want to talk to PB, because he's got a lot of stuff for me to do.
PC#1: PB? Never heard of him.
P: Yeah, he usually sits over there, maybe you can call him and discuss things with him later on.
PC#1: Yeah, OK. So you're coming on Monday?
P: Yeah, if PB has no problem with it.
PC#1 leaves. Later, PB enters.
P: PC#1 asked me to do things for him on Monday, could take up to a week. He's going to talk to you about it.
PB: OK.
Weekend comes, weekend goes. On Monday, P appears in PC#1's office.
P: Here I am.
PC#1: OK. Is it OK with PB?
P looks puzzled but simply nods. PC#1 leads P to PC#2's office and leaves.
PC#2: Hello P.
P: Hello, PC#2. PC#1 wants me to do things and you're supposed to supervise me.
PC#2: LOL, that's not so simple as PC#1 always thinks. PC#2 hands P some printed excel tables. Here, you make sure these look alike and I'll handle things for you.
P does a good job.
PC#2: Yeah, well, you'll have to wait a little.
P is bored and browses his favourite websites, including Maidenfans.com. P phones a friend. The day passes by. P did nothing else that day. The next day, P appears at the office.
PC#2: Yeah, do this and that.
P is done after half an hour.
PC#2: Yeah, well... you just wait a little.
P browses his favourite websites, exchanges emails with a good friend and goes to lunch early. P comes back from lunch.
PC#2: Well, we thought of some things for you to do. Here, take these. PC#2 hands P some sheets with security information. Stick these on the doors of the hallway.
P does his job admirably and comes back. PC#3 enters.
PC#3: Yeah, come with me. PC#3 leads P to the office opposite of his and introduces him to PC#4.
PC#4: Hi, you can say Du to me. Here's what we'll have to do. A little background first. So this is blablablablablabla PC#4 continues to talk for an hour showing P things on the computer. P sits there puzzled and nods at random, trying his very best to pay full attention but unable to prevent the words from flying through his head without leaving a trace. An hour later, he grins inanely.
P: OK, so that's what I have to do. P goes to the office of PB because that also happens to be the office of PD (not the same person) because he needs to tell him he won't go home with him today. He talks a bit about PC#4 and PC#1 and PB listens to it.
PB and PD: So, what are you doing exactly? Is this what PC#1 told you?
P's facial expression is reduced to two blank eyes and a big question mark.
To be continued...
Perun (P) -- This is me.
Perun's Mate (PM) -- These are various people.
Perun's Co-worker (PC) -- These are also various people.
Perun's Boss (P
-- This is a person whose identity I'm not sure of.Perfect Stranger (PS) -- These are some unpleasant folks.
Perun's Brother (PBro) -- This is Perun's brother.
A Certain Someone (ACS) -- This is a certain someone.
P contacts ACS.
P: Wanna do something on Friday?
ACS: Sure. What do you have in mind?
P: Uhh.... P checks the cinema programme without finding anything interesting How about going to the cinema? How about the one in Nuremberg?
ACS: Sure, sounds good.
They agree on meeting at the train station to go to Nuremberg together. P calls PBro, who lives in Nuremberg.
P: Hey PBro, can you tell me where than cinema is? Isn't it right down the street from the main railway station?
PBro: Uh, no, it's not that simple. I suggest you take the underground from the main railway station, one station in that direction, get out, and then to your left.
P: Thanks! You saved my life!
P is happy. The week passes. Friday comes, P is excited. He finally meets ACS at the train station. They have a nice ride to Nuremberg. ACS has no idea where the cinema is, although she's been there once 'a couple of years ago'. P remembered PBro's description in detail. They get out, get to the underground and are amused about the strange folks running around in medieval clothes. They ride one station and get out to their left. They find themselves outside the medieval city walls of Nuremberg.
P: Uh...
ACS: I'm following you.
P: Yeah...
P has no idea where they are, so he goes the only possible way, which leads them around the city walls.
ACS: We're gonna die.
P: No, we're not. And if we are, we're not going to die here.
They walk around for about a quarter of an hour until they find a tram station that takes them back a few stations.
ACS: We're gonna die.
They get out at a station seeing a sign to the cinema. They follow the sign, go around a curve, and there it is in its full glory. P glances to his left. Down the street, he sees the main railway station.
P goes to a party on Friday. He meets some old mates he hasn't seen for a while. He gets the latest news, has fun, drinks the odd beer. For a while he is the DJ. Somebody asks for 'The Smurfs'- not available, so P chooses the closest thing- Manowar.
At some point, P finds himself locked in a conversation with some people at a table. He sits opposite to PS, a rather ugly female of his age whom he had heard some really bad stories of (including her temporary stay at the funny farm).
P: Blablablablabla
PMs: Blablablablabla
PS: Oh, so you work there, blablablablabla
P: Blablablablabla
P can't help to notice that PS is staring at him all the time.
PS: So, I forgot, what's your name?
P: P.
PS: And who is your girlfriend?
P: Uh, I don't have one at the moment.
PS: Eyes glow That is very good.
P feels uneasy but is technically still locked in the conversation. He clinches to his Vodka Orange.
Some time later, PM#1 comes to P. He used to be PS's boyfriend.
PM#1: P, I have to tell you something. PS thinks you're cute!
P: He is usually very considerate and tactful in such situations. SHIT!
P clinches to some more Vodka Oranges, even though he does not see PS anymore that evening. On Sunday, PM#2 calls P.
PM#2: Sorry, I wanted to call you yesterday, but was unable to. Umm... did you return home safely on Friday night?
P: Yeah...
PM#2: Yeah, well, I wasn't so sure, because when you got out of the car you ran right into the bus station.
P: Did I?
PM#2: Yeah, that was after you puked into PM#3's car. But don't worry, it's clean again.
P: Oh. Pause. Remind me to apologise for that next time I see PM#3.
PM#2 laughs. P tries not to think of that evening anymore.
P: Hey, Maiden released a new record, and it's brilliant!
PM: I'm not interested.
P: Why? I thought you like Maiden!
PM: They used to be good, but they started sucking with Dance Of Death.
P: Come on, give it a spin.
PM: Maybe.
A while later, PM calls P.
PM: Hey! Manowar are playing in Nuremberg on 22. December! Wanna go?
P (dry voice): No, mate. I'm going to see Maiden in London on that day.
PM (even dryer voice): Oh.
PC#1: Could you come over to my office on Monday? I've got some things for you to do.
P: Sure, I hope it won't take more than a day, though.
PC#1: You're very optimistic. I expect it to take at least a week.
P: Well, you might want to talk to PB, because he's got a lot of stuff for me to do.
PC#1: PB? Never heard of him.
P: Yeah, he usually sits over there, maybe you can call him and discuss things with him later on.
PC#1: Yeah, OK. So you're coming on Monday?
P: Yeah, if PB has no problem with it.
PC#1 leaves. Later, PB enters.
P: PC#1 asked me to do things for him on Monday, could take up to a week. He's going to talk to you about it.
PB: OK.
Weekend comes, weekend goes. On Monday, P appears in PC#1's office.
P: Here I am.
PC#1: OK. Is it OK with PB?
P looks puzzled but simply nods. PC#1 leads P to PC#2's office and leaves.
PC#2: Hello P.
P: Hello, PC#2. PC#1 wants me to do things and you're supposed to supervise me.
PC#2: LOL, that's not so simple as PC#1 always thinks. PC#2 hands P some printed excel tables. Here, you make sure these look alike and I'll handle things for you.
P does a good job.
PC#2: Yeah, well, you'll have to wait a little.
P is bored and browses his favourite websites, including Maidenfans.com. P phones a friend. The day passes by. P did nothing else that day. The next day, P appears at the office.
PC#2: Yeah, do this and that.
P is done after half an hour.
PC#2: Yeah, well... you just wait a little.
P browses his favourite websites, exchanges emails with a good friend and goes to lunch early. P comes back from lunch.
PC#2: Well, we thought of some things for you to do. Here, take these. PC#2 hands P some sheets with security information. Stick these on the doors of the hallway.
P does his job admirably and comes back. PC#3 enters.
PC#3: Yeah, come with me. PC#3 leads P to the office opposite of his and introduces him to PC#4.
PC#4: Hi, you can say Du to me. Here's what we'll have to do. A little background first. So this is blablablablablabla PC#4 continues to talk for an hour showing P things on the computer. P sits there puzzled and nods at random, trying his very best to pay full attention but unable to prevent the words from flying through his head without leaving a trace. An hour later, he grins inanely.
P: OK, so that's what I have to do. P goes to the office of PB because that also happens to be the office of PD (not the same person) because he needs to tell him he won't go home with him today. He talks a bit about PC#4 and PC#1 and PB listens to it.
PB and PD: So, what are you doing exactly? Is this what PC#1 told you?
P's facial expression is reduced to two blank eyes and a big question mark.
To be continued...
