In 2015, the Lithuanian humorous band
Kashpirovsky’s Antique Teeth released a song—an ode to Venezuela. Obviously tongue-in-cheek.
Lyrics:
To Venezuela
Every day my wife yanks out my hair,
Something’s not enough, something’s never there.
Loans are choking us, the children scream,
And when you think about it—those were the days! Hey!
There were westerns once, and my chest was on fire,
There was love as well, the very first desire.
Then the second came—especially the third,
Oh, I won’t endure it, I’m fleeing this world.
I’ll run to a wondrous, faraway land,
There I’ll see a green little birch once again.
I’ll dip my feet in cool, clear flow—
A marvelous country—to Venezuela.
Where the heart feels at home (To Venezuela!)
My soul will break free (To Venezuela!)
My soul will break free (To Venezuela!)
To Venezuela!
To Venezuela!
To Venezuela!
What are you doing here, what are you doing here, what, what?
What are you doing here, what are you doing here, what-what-what-what-what?
In Venezuela there are monkeys and marimbas,
In Venezuela crocodiles bite the fishing lines!
In Venezuela I’ll meet Almodóvar,
I’ll open a bar with
cepelinai and stuffed cabbage rolls.
In Venezuela nature’s under guard,
Here every girl knows how to keep her chest full, chocolate-brown, and her waist slim.
This isn’t Holland, this isn’t Italy—
This is Venezuela! Almost like Venus itself.
Don’t be afraid—there are no Poles here, no Belarusians,
No Latvians, no Estonians. Russians?
Just a tiny bit—Sasha and Valera.
In Venezuela no one will ever find you,
Not TV3’s
Help Squad, not the
Triangle Ring, because
In Venezuela everyone is protected,
Here every lost soul will find its happiness.
Will find it!
To Venezuela!
To Venezuela!
To Venezuela!
Outside the window winter’s breaking bones again,
And in my heart there’s only a distant land.
I saw it last night on the Travel Channel before sleep—
Oh God, help me escape more quickly! Hey!
I’ll run to a wondrous, faraway land,
There I’ll see a green little birch once again.
I’ll dip my feet in cool, clear flow—
A marvelous country—to Venezuela.
I’ll run to a wondrous, faraway land,
There I’ll see a green little birch once again.
I’ll dip my feet in cool, clear flow—
A marvelous country—to Venezuela.
Where the heart feels at home (To Venezuela!)
My soul will break free (To Venezuela!)
My soul will break free—to Venezuela!