METALLICA ALBUM RANKING GAME: FINAL LIST

What to say about St Anger? I feel like this album is kind of similar to The Phantom Menace, where it was derided at the time and has a small band of contrarian defenders, but at the end of the day still holds up as being exactly as bad as it was perceived to be at the time and has not improved with age.

Eh, disagree with the comparison - on the contrary, I see more and more people actually coming to terms with the prequels and especially Menace (I see Attack of the Clones getting the brunt of the hate, nowadays, if anything, for the awkward romance, the weird plot and the worse side of Christensen), which is more or less logical after the absolutely abominable sequel trilogy. I see nowadays people appreciating Neeson's Qui Gon, Duel of the Fates (the music and the lightsabre fight which is the best in the series, IMHO) and Maul and even the podraces much more. Except for Jar-Jar - and even there people say he was overhated - I think most people have made peace with TPM. At least from my experience. I'm not a huge Star Wars fans by any means, but there's quite a lot of people among my closest brethren who are and even among them, the prequels are far from contentious, nowadays. Menace is usually seen as this mostly inoffensive, mostly cute okay space opera romp, possibly superfluous, but acceptable.

That's not the sentiment St. Anger invites and kindles in people, because if it's definitely not one thing, it's inoffensive. Sure, there are some people who tend to praise it, as "deliberately unsophisticated" and such, but the fandom is much more niche and contrarian in essence, methinks.

I'd recommend watching Todd's Trainwreckords video on that one - especially if you haven't seen or - like me - don't remember at all Some Kind of Monster and all that Metallica shenanigans from back then.


But what about the album itself?
Well, I find it overhated, which is why I really didn't want to put it last (though I still had to, in the end). Once you get used to the sound - especially the drums - I don't find St. Anger all that bad. Unlike some other "deliberately abrasive" albums (like Metal Machine Music) it's actually music and often quite listenable, because the Hetfield choruses are still present (for every "FRANTIC-TIC-TICK-TOCK" you get the idiosyncratically Tullicesque "Keep searchiiiiiin'") and for all of Todd's insistence that nothing really sounded like it, even back then... well, yeah, it kinda did. Dunno, maybe I'm spoiled with too many intentionally hard-for-ears albums, but between Meshuggah and Slipknot and most of second-wave black metal, I don't really find anything that hard to swallow here in general. Apart from the empty barrels.

There should have been some trimming, though. I actually kinda like the first three songs, for example, but Dirty Window is just terrible (PROJECTOR! PROTECTOR! DEFLECTOR! ... .... Ayyyyyy Ayyyyyy) and should have been scratched as a whole ... and Invisible Kid might have that weirdly enticing atmosphere at times that kinda sounds like... a cross between Deftones and Mike Oldfield? ... but also must have the stupidest set of lyrics Hetfield has ever put on paper and it nears nine minutes again!
Also, despite all my good will and effort when you get through almost the whole album and then Purify comes on, you just kinda want to throw the album - if not the fucking band - out of the window.
Beyond that, I even like Sweet Amber and That Unnamed Feeling ... and would even probably like All Within My Hands, if it was a tad shorter at least.

In short - it's not that bad. I've heard worse. Some parts and moments are worth it, IMHO.
Is it the worst album ever? Heck, it's probably not even the worst album I've heard this week.

And I repeat this - say what you will, but despite the album being a mess (and despite the band being a mess) being the biggest metal band of all time (which they still probably are now and definitely were back then, like it or not) and releasing something so wantonly abrasive takes courage. And whatever the result, fact that they take risks like this (including Lulu, but that's for another day) certainly makes me respect them more, not less. And seeing them more as artists than sell-outs.
 
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Guess at no one’s first or last choice:
72 Seasons

Guess at all #1’s:
Kill ‘Em All
Ride The Lightning
Master Of Puppets
…And Justice For All
Metallica
Load

St. Anger is a repellant turd and still the only Metallica studio album I don’t own (I don’t consider Lulu to be a Metallica album).
 
1: There are two ties in the game. One of the ties I think is mostly unsurprising, while one is a little bit more random (and I would say quite surprising).
Hardwired to Self Destruct and the Yellow Album
The Black Album and Kill´Em All
2: Only one album failed to be ranked first or last on any list. That means 10 out of the 11 Metallica albums are either somebody's #1 or #11 album. Can you name the album Maidenfans were most indifferent about?

Death Magnetic

3: There were a total of six albums that were ranked as somebody's favorite (#1). Can you name all six?

Kill´Em All
Ride The Lightning
Master Of Puppets
...And Justice For All
The Black Album
Load
 
Oh right, the guessing. Fuck, I'm really terrible at that and my brain hurts, but I'd still like to try to nominate a game at least once, so here goes my insane attempt


1: There are two ties in the game. One of the ties I think is mostly unsurprising, while one is a little bit more random (and I would say quite surprising).

Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets
The Black Album and Death Magnetic

2: Only one album failed to be ranked first or last on any list. That means 10 out of the 11 Metallica albums are either somebody's #1 or #11 album. Can you name the album Maidenfans were most indifferent about?

Load

3: There were a total of six albums that were ranked as somebody's favorite (#1). Can you name all six?

Kill´Em All
Ride the Lightning
Master of Puppets
...And Justice for All
The Black Album
Death Magnetic
 
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I’ve come around on St. Anger a little bit over time. It’s a trainwreck but a fascinating trainwreck. Metallica has sadly released albums more boring than that in their career.

1: There are two ties in the game. One of the ties I think is mostly unsurprising, while one is a little bit more random (and I would say quite surprising).
Load & Reload
Kill ‘Em All
& Death Magnetic

2: Only one album failed to be ranked first or last on any list. That means 10 out of the 11 Metallica albums are either somebody's #1 or #11 album. Can you name the album Maidenfans were most indifferent about?
Hardwired… to Self-Destruct

3: There were a total of six albums that were ranked as somebody's favorite (#1). Can you name all six?
Kill ‘Em All
Ride the Lightning
Master of Puppets
…And Justice for All
Metallica
Death Magnetic
 
Well, finally here we are! A few reasons, I think we are seeing St. Anger at last position:

- The snare sound. I will say, the idea itself is not a bad one but the execution is pretty much a misfire. Just listen to 'I Disappear' and Death Magnetic, there are hints of St. Anger's snare in them but there is still a balance, specially in 'I Disappear' as the production in Death Magnetic sounds bombastic at times. It sounds decent at some place (think the faster parts in title track) but most of the time, comes out as rather annoying.

- Similar to Load/ReLoad (specially the former), some songs are too lengthy. Invisible Kid is my favourite song from the album as of now and could have made it into my top songs by the band, only had the middle section not been such a drag. It builts out in a cool fashion, vocal deliveries are also wicked but midway, the lyrics along with music gets weird. I still like blasting it at times though! Pretty sure, Frantic also suffers from similar reason.

- NO GUITAR SOLOS. Atleast for me it is a big drawback. A reason why I find it tough at times to get into Testament' The Gathering (even though its songs are rock solid) as well. Also, the lyrics are a bit "trendy" or odd for the band. I mean, we went from:

"Who made you god to say,
I’ll take your life from you?”

To

"Frantic-tic-tic-tic-tock"!?

Dear Phantom Lord, why?
(They sound pretty cool at times though).
 
- The snare sound. I will say, the idea itself is not a bad one but the execution is pretty much a misfire. Just listen to 'I Disappear' and Death Magnetic, there are hints of St. Anger's snare in them but there is still a balance, specially in 'I Disappear' as the production in Death Magnetic sounds bombastic at times. It sounds decent at some place (think the faster parts in title track) but most of the time, comes out as rather annoying.

Also, another thing that is definitely a deliberate choice and can work from time to time, but here often doesn't is Hetfield pushing himself out of his standard registre - that can be cleverly used to increase the emotional weight and give the song a feel of certain desperation (see Zaz's almost hauntingly weird Éblouie par la nuit for an example of that done right, but also, notice that's one song on the album), but here it's both overdone and used without rhyme or reason - Jaymz quite often sounds like a dying cat throughout ("AAAAAAALL WITHIN MY HAYYYYYYNDZ!") which... well, it DOES give off the sensation of the pain and turmoil they definitely felt within, but I'd much rather them giving off the sensation of me not wanting to strangle them.
 
I would have liked it more if it wasn't the same band that wrote One and Master of Puppets. The oonga-boonga stupid vocals are "funny" in the same way my grandma (z.l.) making unhinged comments was "funny". It's not a good album even ignoring this, but it's the biggest factor in my dislike for it. The Unnamed Feeling is the clear winner here, the soulful one where the angst at least makes sense. It's also shorter than half the album, which makes no sense. Frantic, St. Anger, and Some Kind of Monster (and to a degree Sweet Amber) are the other passable songs. The rest is C-tier nu metal or too filled with Hetfield's histrionics. Now I agree with Diesel, this isn't a boring album, it's just pretty shit in execution. There's so much worse. But if we only look at the big-name contenders for "worst metal album of all time"? I'm fine with St. Anger taking the cake, for the same reason purists say the black album deserves that title (difference being the black album rocks and St. Anger doesn't).

Predictions:

Ties
Death Magnetic and Metallica
Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets
Not first or last
72 Seasons
#1 albums
Kill 'Em All
Ride the Lightning
Master of Puppets
...And Justice for All
Metallica
Death Magnetic
 
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BTW spending various parts of my previous 24 hours with Lars Ulrich's kegs, I kinda remembered how I used to be really into Einstürzende Neubauten in secondary school.


I mean I literally got to Nick Cave through Blixa Bargeld and not the other way around. Probably explains a lot, I suppose.
 
Keep the guesses coming guys. Without giving anything away, one tie has been guessed and the album with no #1 or #11 rankings has been guessed. I will inform winners after giving it a few more days. As far as #1 albums go, all I’ll say is that some incorrect assumptions are being made. :D
 
St. Anger is an atrocious record. Sure, there a few songs that could be good in another context, but as it stands: it is an abomination. The fact that the band still decided to release it after hearing the mixes is astonishing. It truly shows how messed up they were at the time. The highest I would rate any song is maybe a 6/10 and that is being exceedingly generous. Most are in the 1-2/10 range. It's trash.

As for the guesses....

TIES
Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets
Load and ReLoad

NOT FIRST OR LAST
Hardwired

#1's
Kill 'Em All
Ride the Lightning
Master of Puppets
And Justice for All
Load
Death Magnetic
 
Eh-hm

Yea, not sure what else to say there. St. Anger is so universally disliked that it's basically a meme, so I'm not sure what I can contribute that hasn't been said already. Out of 21 lists, only 5 had the album not placed last and the next album on the list has almost twice as many points. It wasn't close, and this is possibly the closest thing we've seen to a unanimous ranking from Maidenfans.

PROJECTOR

And I repeat this - say what you will, but despite the album being a mess (and despite the band being a mess) being the biggest metal band of all time (which they still probably are now and definitely were back then, like it or not) and releasing something so wantonly abrasive takes courage. And whatever the result, fact that they take risks like this (including Lulu, but that's for another day) certainly makes me respect them more, not less. And seeing them more as artists than sell-outs.

PROTECTOR

St. Anger is an atrocious record. Sure, there a few songs that could be good in another context, but as it stands: it is an abomination. The fact that the band still decided to release it after hearing the mixes is astonishing. It truly shows how messed up they were at the time. The highest I would rate any song is maybe a 6/10 and that is being exceedingly generous. Most are in the 1-2/10 range. It's trash.

REJECTOR

St. Anger is a repellant turd

INFECTOR

- The snare sound. I will say, the idea itself is not a bad one but the execution is pretty much a misfire. Just listen to 'I Disappear' and Death Magnetic, there are hints of St. Anger's snare in them but there is still a balance, specially in 'I Disappear' as the production in Death Magnetic sounds bombastic at times. It sounds decent at some place (think the faster parts in title track) but most of the time, comes out as rather annoying.

- Similar to Load/ReLoad (specially the former), some songs are too lengthy. Invisible Kid is my favourite song from the album as of now and could have made it into my top songs by the band, only had the middle section not been such a drag. It builts out in a cool fashion, vocal deliveries are also wicked but midway, the lyrics along with music gets weird. I still like blasting it at times though! Pretty sure, Frantic also suffers from similar reason.

PROJECTOR

But if we only look at the big-name contenders for "worst metal album of all time"? I'm fine with St. Anger taking the cake,

REJECTOR


(it just keeps playing in me head, sorry) :ninja:
 
As far as #1 albums go, all I’ll say is that some incorrect assumptions are being made. :D
My hunch was telling me not to go with KEA, so that's my prediction about that. Still picked it, because it's not hard to imagine why someone would like it more than RTL or MOP, it's a different vibe, and well it's also just much more obvious than the other options. It will be insane if it's about one of the other classics.
 
Correct guesses so far go to @JudasMyGuide and @Diesel 11 . Feel free to PM me with one band nomination for a game.

So far one tie goes unguessed and nobody has named all six of the #1 albums.


1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
6:
7:
8:
9:
10: 72 Seasons
11: St. Anger

Total score: 69

Highest score: 6 (@Iron Taipei)
Lowest score: 1 (@KidInTheDark666 @Diesel 11 @eddie666)

Coming in at the coveted second to last spot (because there really was no competition for last), is Metallica's latest album, known affectionately by some as The Yellow Album. I'm not sure if this will come as much of a surprise to folks, if anything 72 seems to be an album with no strong defenders with most lists putting the album in the bottom three. Even those who like the album more than the average Maidenfan are still putting the album in the bottom half of the discography, which contrasts to pretty much all the remaining albums that have at least a few outlier high scores.

My impression of 72 Seasons is that it's Metallica most "nothing" album. A lot of the songs are midtempo plodders and the riffing/hooks just aren't really there. It's remarkably similar to St Anger in terms of style, but without the dreadful production and a little bit more captivating lead guitar work. But if we compare 72 with just the previous two Metallica albums, you don't even really get a sense of the fan service-y thrash metal throwback sound that brought Metallica back into a lot of fans' good graces. Even Hardwired, which was a fairly divisive album, had some defenders and a couple tracks that have become fan favorites. I kinda have a hard time seeing anything off this album having much staying power. In fact, if the band didn't take so long between albums I would expect most of this album to be quickly forgotten. That still may be the case, I feel like this was the most underwhelming Metallica album release in history.

The usual criticisms of Metallica still apply - a lot of the songs are painfully drawn out and feel like a bunch of unrelated parts stitched together. The production doesn't sound like garbage, in fact it's probably the best sounding Metallica album since the 90s, not that it's saying much. James always sounds good, although I definitely get that he's showing his age on a few songs. There isn't anything offensive about the album, but it's a prime example of how being boring is sometimes an album's greatest sin.
 
6 albums I think will be:
Kill Em All
Ride the Lightning
Master Of Puppets
And Justice For All
The Black Album
Relod
 
72 Seasons is an album that I liked more at first, then soured on over repeated listens as I noticed riffs and other bits being recycled from Hardwired and other, better Metallica albums. I still like it better than the atrocious Reload and St. Anger, but it’s merely a pretty good, overly long, not-very-inspired album in the end.
 
Nothing encapsulates my thoughts on this album as well as the very start of it. The first 50 seconds of the title track literally - LITERALLY sound like me at my guitar trying too hard to come up with a riff. And the riff is... fine, this album is listenable, it's just incredibly lackluster. I found myself wondering why I'm listening to Lux Aeterna over any other thrash song ever. If there's a ray of light, it's the last three songs, they have a little more going on. I don't want to be too offensive towards it because it's not an offensive album, so I'll call it "extremely not good", which is likely better than "terrible" but also possibly not. Quite honestly I'm not sure if 72 Seasons would rank higher or dead last had I been more familiar with it.
 
72 Seasons is an album I have to try to like. That's never a good thing.

Everything @Mosh said is dead on - this is just one big fat nothingburger. The amount of straight open E stock riffs and songs that open with random "chords thrown together while Lars hits the snare" fills is mind-numbing.

Highlights include Lux Aeterna, which I legitimately think is the only great song on the album, and Inamorata, which does pack some good emotion to it. The majority of the album sits firmly in the meh-to-I-guess-it's-ok range.

Crown of Barbed Wire, Chasing Light, If Darkness Had a Son and Screaming Suicide are just plain not good.

And I'll take another stab at the #1's...
Ride the Lightning
Master of Puppets
And Justice for All
Black Album
Load
Death Magnetic
 
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