Mental Health Thread

[GhostofCain]

Two sides are constantly fighting inside me. One side says: “You’ve got this. Keep working on yourself, focus on your work, studies and maintaining a healthy routine. Eat, sleep, stay active, you are your own master and no one else can put you down. You will find happiness yet.” While the other side keeps repeating: “You’ve been depressed for so long, you cannot overcome it whatever you do. Even if you manage to find happiness or stability, you won’t be able to feel any joy out of it, because you’re so dulled out already. And if you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to offer any support to your family and friends. Just do yourself a favor and die.”
I would seek therapy if I could afford it.

Don't give up mate. I'm also dealing with a deep depression for a long time and since the summer has been worse than ever. I'm sure depression is what it does until the point you're nothing at all, but keep doing all the good things you're doing: eat, sleep, stay active all these healthy things and keep away from social media , don't compare with others… and watch and enjoy positive little things in life. People like us World today is darker than ever. But stay strong, you're not the only one and you're not alone in this.

I am really sorry to hear that! Just try and focus on the positive things!

 

[Onhell]

This past year was a big step forward for me in truly embracing who I see myself to be and not who others see or want me to be. For example, just this morning my mother said that I "wasted" my time in high school in the U.S, because I didn't have a good enough to get into university and had to go to community college first. This surprised me for two reasons, 1. She has stated in the past how good it was I went to CC because it saved us a lot of money in tuition and 2. I made the honor roll every single quarter with straight As.

I had to remind her that my GPA from Mexico was SO BAD that even with those straight As I was a hair away from being able to be admitted straight to University. So then she switches gears and says that I wasted HER financial sacrifice by having such a poor GPA in Mexico having gone to the most expensive and "best" school in the country. So I said, um... how exactly? I still went to university, I still finished my degree, actually worked in my field and I am who I am personally and professionally thanks to that foundation?" Again she repeated my shitty grades and again I said, "Yeah, cuz clearly they held me back. How did I EVER end up as a professor? I'm sorry for not going to Harvard, I'm sorry for being such a horrid disappointment."

Thing is, sorry I'm not sorry. When I was younger I would feel tremendous guilt for not living up to my parents' expectations, I couldn't care less anymore. I know who I am, I've carved out my own definition of happiness and success. I've mentioned it before (I think), but whether I wanted to be a priest, I was a social worker, pharmacy technician, call center trainer and now ESL teacher. The common thread is I love helping people.

I help my students beyond their classes. I've had students with anxiety, depression, both, in DV situations, going through a quarter life crises, etc. I guide them the best I can and most of them bounce back fairly well. The "thank you" emails I get at the end of every semester are incredibly touching and they all hit the same points. They thank me for my patience, kindness and understanding.

I've recently done the same for friends and partners. One friend recently told me she felt "lost," "aimless." I asked her whatever happened to the food truck business she wanted to start and she said, "Oh, you know, you're the only one that believes in me, not even my mom thinks I can get that going." clearly, I can relate.

Just last night I was talking with one of the classmates I befriended from my German Class and she says, "Can I be honest with you? I don't have anybody I can talk to." "Sure, What's up?" "I want to kill myself. I've told my parents how I feel, but they just say I'm sad, because I want to." I felt for her, but at the same time I thought to myself, "I got this." And I was able to walk her off the ledge.

I got a Sisyphus tattoo a year ago and this year I got an Atlas tattoo. Sisyphus, to me, represents Patience, Resilience and Perseverance. Atlas represents my tendency to take on other's peoples issues and carry them for them. This is who I am. I don't know why strangers, acquaintances and my students open up to me and tell me some really personal things. I am someone who they feel they can trust with it and I take it very seriously.

Life is hard enough as it is. I choose to help in whatever way I can to make it just a little less bad. It may have taken me 42 years to fully embrace it and be comfortable with it, but now that I have, I, oddly, feel a load off my shoulders.

 

[Onhell]

I did stand-up for the first time in like a decade last night. A good friend of mine found this great little cafe downtown with really good vibe and really cool comedians with a chill atmosphere and thought it'd be a perfect place for me to get back into it. She was right. It went ok. I didn't kill, but I didn't bomb either. I was obviously rusty, especially since it's only the 3rd time in Spanish. What was also cool is that the event organizer said he'd like to see me in at least 3 more shows to see if he slots me in for the shows in English (where I do really well). So I'm really excited I have a new project this year aside from writing more. Since my German classes got cancelled due to not having enough students I decided not to wait for a new group and bring that little excursion to an end. I'm happy with the little I learned/remembered as I can now read memes in German, enjoy songs in German and somewhat follow shows in German, so I'm good. So this stand-up thing becomes a new challenge I'm eager to dive into.

I also bring it up, because the friend I went with is one of my oldest friends here in town. I arrived back in Mexico 9 years ago, almost to the day) and we met like a month later when I started working. She is the only one I see with any consistency from that old group of friends. We have a big brother/little sister dynamic, we became fast friends, because we're both loud and unfiltered LOL. But we've grown close throughout the years.

Last night, as we're walking to the bar from her place she begins to tell me that she's sorry for being such a bad friend and not keeping in touch as often as she should, but that she doesn't want to burden me. That she's knows I'm ok, but that I'm not ok and neither is she and she hasn't been there for me as she feels she should. Then she begins to cry and say that the one of the reasons she chose to come back to town (she had moved to Mexico City) after her mother's death was that I was here and that she knew she wouldn't be alone, because I was here. She said that I was of the few friends that actually met her mom and that somehow I'm the last link she has to her. A lot of this she told me as I held her and let her cry it out on a random street corner downtown. Then, still sobbing, she said, "I don't know why I just told you all of this." I just thought, neither do I, but seems to be my thing.

In the last month A friend talked to me about her depression after a miscarriage, my classmate told me about her suicidal thoughts and now my friend tells me this. And this is just the people I'm close to, I'm not including acquaintances and perfect strangers. Maybe it's not to late to become a priest after all...

Please be kind to each other, we are not as alone as we think, but many of us still struggle.

 

[Black Abyss Babe]

I did stand-up for the first time in like a decade last night. A good friend of mine found this great little cafe downtown with really good vibe and really cool comedians with a chill atmosphere and thought it'd be a perfect place for me to get back into it. She was right. It went ok. I didn't kill, but I didn't bomb either. I was obviously rusty, especially since it's only the 3rd time in Spanish. What was also cool is that the event organizer said he'd like to see me in at least 3 more shows to see if he slots me in for the shows in English (where I do really well). So I'm really excited I have a new project this year aside from writing more. Since my German classes got cancelled due to not having enough students I decided not to wait for a new group and bring that little excursion to an end. I'm happy with the little I learned/remembered as I can now read memes in German, enjoy songs in German and somewhat follow shows in German, so I'm good. So this stand-up thing becomes a new challenge I'm eager to dive into.

I also bring it up, because the friend I went with is one of my oldest friends here in town. I arrived back in Mexico 9 years ago, almost to the day) and we met like a month later when I started working. She is the only one I see with any consistency from that old group of friends. We have a big brother/little sister dynamic, we became fast friends, because we're both loud and unfiltered LOL. But we've grown close throughout the years.

Last night, as we're walking to the bar from her place she begins to tell me that she's sorry for being such a bad friend and not keeping in touch as often as she should, but that she doesn't want to burden me. That she's knows I'm ok, but that I'm not ok and neither is she and she hasn't been there for me as she feels she should. Then she begins to cry and say that the one of the reasons she chose to come back to town (she had moved to Mexico City) after her mother's death was that I was here and that she knew she wouldn't be alone, because I was here. She said that I was of the few friends that actually met her mom and that somehow I'm the last link she has to her. A lot of this she told me as I held her and let her cry it out on a random street corner downtown. Then, still sobbing, she said, "I don't know why I just told you all of this." I just thought, neither do I, but seems to be my thing.

In the last month A friend talked to me about her depression after a miscarriage, my classmate told me about her suicidal thoughts and now my friend tells me this. And this is just the people I'm close to, I'm not including acquaintances and perfect strangers. Maybe it's not to late to become a priest after all...

Please be kind to each other, we are not as alone as we think, but many of us still struggle.

The Boyfriend has also recounted experiences of this nature, (mainly during the early days of our relationship). He said he actually considered taking a course in "peers counselling" at one point.

Natural Born Counsellors, both of you ...

 

[Saapanael]

I’ve been messed up lately. I don’t know where all this is leading, but it seems to be harder to go on every day. The more I try, the lonelier I feel.

 

[Christopher Baines]

I’ve been messed up lately. I don’t know where all this is leading, but it seems to be harder to go on every day. The more I try, the lonelier I feel.

Keep going dude. Enjoy the little things in life. Like listening to Maiden

 

[Yax]

I’ve been messed up lately. I don’t know where all this is leading, but it seems to be harder to go on every day. The more I try, the lonelier I feel.

I mean this in a caring sense of the word. Seek professional help. There is nothing wrong with it - hell, I've had people close to me seeking and getting professional help and they are better off for it. In fact, the only wrong thing is not acting on it and thus work against your own best interest. You deserve better than to feel the way you have over a long period of time. Help yourself out and reach out to a professional.

 

[Christopher Baines]

I mean this in a caring sense of the word. Seek professional help. There is nothing wrong with it - hell, I've had people close to me seeking and getting professional help and they are better off for it. In fact, the only wrong thing is not acting on it and thus work against your own best interest. You deserve better than to feel the way you have over a long period of time. Help yourself out and reach out to a professional.

Tbh I've sort professional help myself recently and they aren't interested. At least a month to be seen by a doc and then if I get referred after that it will be months. Who knows what state ill be in by then.

My advice to myself is sort myself out cos nobody else really cares even if they say they do.

 

[Vaenyr]

Tbh I've sort professional help myself recently and they aren't interested. At least a month to be seen by a doc and then if I get referred after that it will be months. Who knows what state ill be in by then.

My advice to myself is sort myself out cos nobody else really cares even if they say they do.

Eh, it's better to receive help even if it takes a while, than to stop looking for help and getting worse and worse. Most people can't just get better by themselves. That's not a sign of failure. It's obviously incredibly difficult to recognize harmful patterns and fight against bad habits, when you're in the thick of it. This applies to addictions as well as to mental health crises. If we want to take the "take care of yourself" suggestion at face value, there are no downside to looking for professional help at the same time, putting your name on a few lists and waiting until you can start therapy. It's a net gain.

It's admirable to try and overcome things without external help. It's not always possible, realistic or even reasonable to do so.

 

[Christopher Baines]

Eh, it's better to receive help even if it takes a while, than to stop looking for help and getting worse and worse. Most people can't just get better by themselves. That's not a sign of failure. It's obviously incredibly difficult to recognize harmful patterns and fight against bad habits, when you're in the thick of it. This applies to addictions as well as to mental health crises. If we want to take the "take care of yourself" suggestion at face value, there are no downside to looking for professional help at the same time, putting your name on a few lists and waiting until you can start therapy. It's a net gain.

It's admirable to try and overcome things without external help. It's not always possible, realistic or even reasonable to do so.

Everyone's different but personally I give up on professional help, it's useless. So it's either help myself or who knows what.

 

[Vaenyr]

Everyone's different but personally I give up on professional help, it's useless. So it's either help myself or who knows what.

Disagree with the bolded. You may feel that way, but it's rarely useless. I'm of the belief that the vast majority of people would benefit immensely from therapy sessions. Especially those who think that they can overcome everything themselves, only to end up digging a deeper and deeper hole.

 

[Onhell]

Tbh I've sort professional help myself recently and they aren't interested. At least a month to be seen by a doc and then if I get referred after that it will be months. Who knows what state ill be in by then.

My advice to myself is sort myself out cos nobody else really cares even if they say they do.

Every country's services are different. If I want to take advantage of the University's free services.... sure it takes 4-6 months to get a baby doctor assigned to me and once I do it is only for 6 weekly sessions. In other words nothing long term. However, there are government programs that offer free services, there are churches that over affordable services, etc. And the good ol' fashion just look for help in the private sector and if I have 30 dollars I can probably find one.

In short there are plenty of options. From my VERY limited knowledge of European healthcare, it is leaps and bounds better than anything we have in the Americas.

 

[____no5]

In short there are plenty of options. From my VERY limited knowledge of European healthcare, it is leaps and bounds better than anything we have in the Americas.

What about just visit doctors /psychologists privately? A friend of mine in Greece has been seeing a psychiatrist privately for years, outside of the public welfare system. Even though his net monthly income is only €1,100, which is quite low, he can still afford it.

 

[MindRuler]

Net monthly income is only €1,100, which is quite low, he can still afford it.

And he can manage it? That's insane.
With rent and monthly costs you won´t make it here with that amount and then I didn´t count food or even clothes...

 

[____no5]

And he can manage it? That's insane.
With rent and monthly costs you won´t make it here with that amount and then I didn´t count food or even clothes...

Well, he's not paying rent for one so there's that, plus his wife also brings another 1,100€ which is about the average here.

It’s still impressive though, which is why I asked. I used to live in France, but I never went to private doctors there, so I don’t really know what the prices are like. In China, I usually go to high-end clinics because of the language barrier, and I’m not really aware of private doctor offices other than those for traditional Chinese medicine.

In Greece, however, seeing a doctor privately can be surprisingly cheap.
I got sick the other day while on a business trip and just needed a consultation so the doctor could prescribe antibiotics. I asked a friend how much it would cost to visit his doctor, and he told me it would be about €30.
At that price, I simply went to a local doctor and paid out of pocket instead of using my international medical coverage, which would have required going to a more distant hospital and taking a taxi. The round-trip taxi alone would have cost around €20, go figure.

 

[Saapanael]

I don’t know how to describe this situation anymore. I’m trying to progress, become a better person, and the more I try, the more I keep running into people who have zero regard for others, and only live by the narrow view they have of the world. It depresses me so much and I have no ability to stand up for myself. Currently I’m in training for a job that I like and pays decently well, but some of the people I meet are such utter idiotic douchebags that I cannot even fathom how people with such attitudes exist. And the further I expand, the more I realise that this is what people are actually like. Intelligent, caring, sensible people are the minority. Some would say to disregard all this and just do your own thing. But I can’t disregard it, I’ve never been able to switch off all the bullshit coming from outside. I keep fantasizing about getting really drunk one night, climbing the local ski jump and falling down from there.

 

[Azas]

I don’t know how to describe this situation anymore. I’m trying to progress, become a better person, and the more I try, the more I keep running into people who have zero regard for others, and only live by the narrow view they have of the world. It depresses me so much and I have no ability to stand up for myself. Currently I’m in training for a job that I like and pays decently well, but some of the people I meet are such utter idiotic douchebags that I cannot even fathom how people with such attitudes exist. And the further I expand, the more I realise that this is what people are actually like. Intelligent, caring, sensible people are the minority. Some would say to disregard all this and just do your own thing. But I can’t disregard it, I’ve never been able to switch off all the bullshit coming from outside. I keep fantasizing about getting really drunk one night, climbing the local ski jump and falling down from there.

Now I’m just going to throw a few thoughts and sentences your way. Not as advice from an expert - just as one person talking to another. Maybe something will make you think, maybe something will resonate. Maybe not. Just know that I do feel what you’re describing, at least to some degree. I’m not trying to hurt you or attack you.

I’m not a doctor, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. It’s just another guy typing on a keyboard.

Maybe part of it is simply the season. Winter can grind people down. Maybe you’re craving sunlight and long warm days, when a soft breeze touches your face and the world feels alive again, when life feels a little more bearable. Maybe it’s as simple as low vitamin D.

And I can already hear the reaction: “I’m talking about darkness and anger in my soul, and this idiot suggests vitamin D. What a loser.”
Fair enough. But the only way to know is to actually check - see a doctor, talk about your mood, maybe even get your vitamin levels tested. Sometimes the smallest things can amplify how we feel.

Maybe you’re young, too. When we’re young, many of us are very maximalist. I want everything, and I want it now. Believe me, a lot of us have been in similar emotional pits. It feels terrible in the moment, but many of those periods do pass - if you keep going, if you keep fighting, if you don’t take the darkest path. Sometimes you have to loosen your grip and let life move a little. What’s around the next corner? Maybe tomorrow will be better than today. Don’t surrender your hope.

About other people: as harsh as it sounds, most people mainly care about themselves or their immediate circle. That can hurt, but you can’t expect everyone to be kind, thoughtful, and aware. All you can really do is behave decently, be yourself, and if certain people drain you, try not to stay around them more than necessary. Look for people who share your interests, your outlook, your hobbies. It’s not always easy, but it’s possible.

Try not to dwell too much on thoughts about ending things. The more you think about it, the more normalized it can start to feel - and it shouldn’t be. It’s not a solution; it’s the ultimate loss. Think about it: everything you love would disappear. Meanwhile, the people you dislike would still be here, still living their lives. Staying here is your chance to prove something to yourself. You’re not worthless - you might just be a young person who feels lost right now. And a lot of things in life can still change.

I know how this kind of message can sound: “Easy for him to say. What does he know about suffering?”
You’re right - I’m just throwing thoughts at you. Maybe you’ll see something from a slightly different angle. Or maybe you’ll read it and think, “This guy is a wannabe therapist, forget him,” and then go outside for a walk. That’s fine too.

Just try not to lock yourself inside the walls of your own mind. Do something different. Physical activity can really help reduce stress. Move your body, go somewhere, change the scenery.

Fight
Fight
Fight
Fighting the world every single day
Fighting the world for the right to play

And remember: eventually, all of us will leave this world anyway. Death isn’t going anywhere. So why rush the process? Be a tourist on this planet for a while. See what it has to offer. Not everything here is pleasant—but some things are.

These are just my unfiltered thoughts, typed quickly. Maybe they sound clumsy, pretentious, or naive. That’s okay. I can accept that. It’s fine to feel like a loser sometimes. Nobody promised life would be easy.

Sometimes you lose. Sometimes you sit in an armchair and drink tea. And maybe the next morning you win a little.

If anything I wrote hurt your feelings, I’m sorry. I’m not a professional - just another person trying to reach out. If you truly feel like you might slip, please try to set aside the shame and talk to someone who can help. A counselor, a doctor, someone you trust.

Sometimes it even helps to step outside yourself for a moment and laugh at your situation a little. I’ve done that before. Imagine your darkest thoughts sitting in the corner like some cheap little devil - tell it to get lost. Flip it the middle finger if you want. Then maybe make yourself a cup of warm tea. Add a slice of lemon, maybe a bit of honey. Small things can help.

Don’t give up.
People do see you.

And honestly, we’re all a bit lost, all flawed. We’re all just trying to figure things out. And that’s okay.