Too short, leaves the story incomplete, and sounds like an attempt to make the song something it isn't. This is a Rime-like song in terms of what it tries to do. The story isn't just "suddenly, airship! It is here, it flies off, crashes, but the dream lives on".
In addition, the transitions in this edit feel unnatural - and not just because I'm used to the actual song, the way Maiden recorded it.
I have no issue with the length of EOTC as it is, but some parts drag on a bit too long and the song wouldn't be less good if it had been cut by a minute or two - provided it was done skillfully.