Maybe Lars should get in on this
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Brooklyn’s most notorious member-measuring contest is back — and this year, it is smaller than ever.
On June 14, the second annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant will return to Kings County Bar in Bushwick, where last year crowds flocked to see proudly un-endowed men parade their tiny goods.
“Last year, I was thrilled,” said Bobbie Chaset, a bartender at Kings County and the lead organizer of the contest. “I’ve never looked out at an audience and seen so much joy.”
Returning to fray is Nicholas Gilronan, a Brooklyn native and United Parcel Service worker who claimed fame and fortune — well, $200 — in 2013 with his winning combination of tiny third-leg and huge strength of character. Another finalist from last year also unwilling to shrink away from the competition is a man known only as “Rip van Dinkle,” who is once again travelling to Bushwick all the way from Minnesota.
Chaset said the idea for the pageant began to take shape after a friend came back from a date with a mini-membered man — giving rave reviews.
“She came back and said it was the best night of her life,” Chaset said. “They know how to please a woman because they have to work a lot harder.”
Somehow, the drunken idea for a small penis pageant eventually took shape, capturing headlines around the world last year. Chaset said men have emailed her about their interest in competing — often including photographic evidence, to her mild dismay — from such far-flung locales as Australia and South Africa.
Keeping in line with the original inspiration for the pint-sized pork-sword fight, Chaset said the celebration of men and their small penises will be a strictly positive environment.
“We’re there to appreciate them,” she said. “If anyone thinks it’s okay to heckle or make fun, they’re getting booted out of there.”