How many Iron Maiden members does it take to change a light-bulb?

Discussion in 'Can I Play with Madness?' started by Spambot, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. Spambot

    Spambot Educated Fool

    It started as a simple question, but then I got an idea. An idea like a virus. Resilient. Highly contagious. And even the smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you. Or your mind starts to wonder. If I needed to change a light-bulb who would I call?

    Steve would volunteer, but it would take him 11+ minutes.
    Bruce would also do it, but then he would go on giving interviews for next couple of months about light-bulb changing in WWII.
    I don't trust Nicko around ladders anymore, he's out.
    Janick would miss a screw (or a thread) in a socket, light-bulb would make that flickering effect and drive me mad.
    Adrian would do it, quickly and promptly. But then he would stand there complaining how I choose the wrong voltage, it should have more/less watts, LED/halogen discussion and so on...
    And Dave would come also. But he would be in such a good spirit, so I would have to offer him some wine first. Several hours later and table full of empty bottles, we would make paper hats and laugh until it was time to call it a night, forgetting what we planned to do in the beginning.

    Some 10 years in a future I would receive a mail from Barry McKay that it was his light bulb in the beginning and since me and my family illuminated our lives for past 10 years, he's entitled to certain percentage from my savings/pension fund.

    With all that in mind, I concluded I wouldn't like to have any Maiden member coming near my apartment.

    Sad jams.

  2. Perun

    Perun Stepping out bravely Staff Member

    You all knew this had to be coming.

    How many members does it take to change a light bulb?

    1 to change the light bulb
    1 to make a thread about it on
    5 to derail the thread immediately
    2 to desperately try to get it back on track
    1 to say this should have gone in the General Home Improvement Thread
    2 to argue that this isn't home improvement but General Electronics Advice
    1 to point out the difference between electricity and electronics
    1 to link to How Many Forum Users Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb
    5 to point out that How Many Members Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb is a rip-off of the aforementioned and they'll hear from Barry McKay soon
    52 to post lists of their favourite light bulbs
    39 to complain about these lists
    19 to post light bulb related puns on Maiden songs such as Light of Icarus and Fates Wiring
    5 to suggest a Light Bulb Survivor
    1 to start a Light Bulb Survivor
    10 to vote out Osram in the first round
    1 to complain that people only voted against Osram because Osram is underexposed and they only support Philips because they don't really know Osram
    8 to vote out Philips in the next round
    1 to say they lost all their feelings for this Survivor when Philips was voted out and they're only continuing to get it over with
    1 to consistently vote against Megaman because they want to protect Plumen
    22 to vote out Plumen anyway
    1 to ask if they ever even used Plumen
    0 to be satisfied with the results of the Survivor
    3 to claim it's all about the sockets anyway
    6 to argue that the difference in light bulbs is bigger than the difference in sockets
    1 to say that a light bulb would be nothing without a socket and that sockets need more appreciation
    6 to say that sockets are fully appreciated but they don't make as much difference as the bulbs
    1 to say that sockets make more difference than bulbs and that everybody is exaggerating the importance of bulbs
    2 to argue that the importance of sockets is exaggerated now
    10 to call for a Medal of Stupendous Boredom
    1 to point out that there has been a light bulb burning in Livermore, CA since 1901
    4 to suggest that Sabaton should write a song about this light bulb
    2 to suggest that Sabaton should write a song about Thomas Edison instead
    3 to argue Thomas Edison was a liar and thief and they should write a song about George Westinghouse instead
    3 to claim that Nikola Tesla was the real hero and Sabaton should write a song about him
    1 to say that Maiden should write a song about Tesla instead because it fits in their theme of Macedonian heroes
    1 to say Macedonia is Greek!
    25 to reply that nobody cares
    2 to ask which light bulbs Maiden use in their live shows
    31 to say that Maiden should use Sylvania light bulbs
    9 to say that they are disappointed in Maiden's choice of light bulbs and they demand that Maiden use new light bulbs, but only those that they want them to use
    2 to say that Maiden will have good reasons for using the light bulbs they do and people shouldn't be so damn entitled
    3 to reply that as fans, they are not entitled at all and they can criticise Maiden all they want
    1 to post a light bulb related meme nobody gets
    1 to link to How Many Forum Users Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb again
    1 to call for the moderators to delete all the off topic posts
    3 to say that the previous guy started with the off topic posts
    7 to point out a change in light bulb arrangement in a recent tour promo picture that points to a setlist change
    44 to suspect that the red-yellow combination of lightbulbs in the rig during Two Minutes to Midnight is evidence that this song will be exchanged for Alexander the Great on the next leg of the tour
    5 moderators to have a mental breakdown
    Number 6, Ariana, Diesel 11 and 17 others like this.
  3. Night Prowler

    Night Prowler CriedWhenBazzaSued Staff Member

    Number 6, Ariana and Perun like this.
  4. Wogmidget

    Wogmidget I rather like the restless nights

    I guess that includes me. . . better get cracking

    Out of the Silent Ampere
    Phantom of the Ohm-pera
    Fear of the Spark
  5. Spambot

    Spambot Educated Fool

    @Perun Hats off! You have my utmost respect.
    I laughed all the way, but lost it here.
    Number 6, frus and Perun like this.
  6. Confeos

    Confeos Game time started.

    Thread. Of. The. Year.
  7. Brigantium

    Brigantium Grim Reaper Staff Member

  8. Dr. Eddies Wingman

    Dr. Eddies Wingman Brighter than thousand_suns


  9. LooseCannon

    LooseCannon Yorktown-class aircraft carrier Staff Member

    Number 6 and frus like this.
  10. Mosh

    Mosh The years just pass like trains Staff Member

    Reading this gave me PTSD.
  11. Zare

    Zare Automaton Sovietico

    No Naples, very bad, 10/10
  12. Zare

    Zare Automaton Sovietico

    Murray, Smith and Gers would not be able to decide which one gets to change it, resulting in a fistfight. Dickinson wouldn't even be near, because he's got the fear of the dark. Harris would proceed to change a light bulb into a seizure-spawning stroboscope. While McBrain's light bulb change might've looked effortless, upon turning the light on you'd realize another part of the room is lit.
    frus and Night Prowler like this.
  13. Brigantium

    Brigantium Grim Reaper Staff Member

    Adrian would change the lightbulb while Dave smiled in the background. Janick would change it again and screw it up because he's so sloppy.
    Palpy likes this.
  14. The Flash

    The Flash Dennis Wilcock did 9/11

    @Perun We don't have that many active members tho
  15. Wogmidget

    Wogmidget I rather like the restless nights

    Not yet. . .
  16. Magnus

    Magnus Ancient Mariner

    Cried to taunt it into glowing again with sheer embarrassment.
  17. Black Abyss Babe

    Black Abyss Babe Ocean soul

    Are you suggesting Janick has a screw loose?!!?
  18. Black Abyss Babe

    Black Abyss Babe Ocean soul

    And you've probably already worked out which five it would be ...
  19. Perun

    Perun Stepping out bravely Staff Member

    Let's just say that not all the numbers were chosen at random.
  20. Brigantium

    Brigantium Grim Reaper Staff Member

    Multiple accounts

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