Jer
A window to the west, a blazing star above
First match-up is the toughest, because Luca Turilli hits my neoclassical G-spot, pompous cheese and all, but I fucking hate Fabio Lione. Meanwhile, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap is a pretty solid hard rock album with a few classics. Great music with a bad singer vs. good music with an OK singer. Sorry Luca, but as I mentioned before, I nominated one of your solo albums for later in the game, and I’ll make my stand for you there. Lione sucks. Winner: AC/DC
My brother used to work for the music publishing company that signed Marilyn Manson, so I’d heard the demo of this album before it ever got finished and released. I didn’t understand what people saw in it then, and I still don’t now. Manson sucks. He’s like a sad arranged marriage of Nine Inch Nails and Rob Zombie without the appealing parts of either one. Meanwhile, the Death album has great music with kind of crappy vocals, but I find myself voting for it yet again. Winner: Death
This Helmet album commits the cardinal sin of being boring as fuck. The single “Unsung” is the only decent thing on here, and the rest is samey, low-rent dreck. The arsenal of Megadeth obliterates the competition here. Winner: Megadeth
Sleep is an aptly named band. This album is...fine. It’s inoffensive. I don’t remember a single note of it after the fact. Van Halen II, while not their best effort, still has lots of memorable, well executed hard rock on it. Winner: Van Halen
My brother used to work for the music publishing company that signed Marilyn Manson, so I’d heard the demo of this album before it ever got finished and released. I didn’t understand what people saw in it then, and I still don’t now. Manson sucks. He’s like a sad arranged marriage of Nine Inch Nails and Rob Zombie without the appealing parts of either one. Meanwhile, the Death album has great music with kind of crappy vocals, but I find myself voting for it yet again. Winner: Death
This Helmet album commits the cardinal sin of being boring as fuck. The single “Unsung” is the only decent thing on here, and the rest is samey, low-rent dreck. The arsenal of Megadeth obliterates the competition here. Winner: Megadeth
Sleep is an aptly named band. This album is...fine. It’s inoffensive. I don’t remember a single note of it after the fact. Van Halen II, while not their best effort, still has lots of memorable, well executed hard rock on it. Winner: Van Halen