Forums, life, the universe and the rest...

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While forums may be "just" virtual communities, they often reflect what happens in real life. Relationships of like and dislike between the various members appear and evolve like they do in our immediate physical surroundings, only on a much larger, global scale. Some people may develop an intense dislike for one member or another, or, at the other extreme, even love relationships can occur. Such is life, may it be happening on our computer screen or right next to us.

However, I was extremely saddened at a recent discussion that turned out to become more heated than necessary and that lead to the "virtual suicide" of one of our most valued members -- and, it should be pointed out, a brilliant moderator -- who chose to delete his account and keep away from further discussions. Although I do not agree with this deletion, I somehow understand it. After all, we all have bad days or bad patches that make us react more strongly than we would in a normal situation. Still, I wish this hadn't happened.

You will most probably know what thread I am referring to, and who the protagonists are, so I won't spend too much time on this. I currently haven't got the luxury to spend my days on the forum anymore, and I simply keep a distant eye on it, only intervening when I deem it necessary.

The reason for my intervention is that I saw two members that I can safely consider friends have a dig at each other due to widely different opinions on a particular topic. I wish I'd participated in the discussion and calmed things down, hopefully preventing all this unneccessary trouble and a terrible loss for our community.

We are indeed a special community, in case you hadn't noticed. How many Maiden forums can both discuss their favourite band and, in roughly equal proportions, the current events of our world, literature, cinema, and culture in general? Along the years, we have formed a close-knit group of people who (most of the time) open-mindedly discuss various topics, exposing their points of view and enlightening the other readers on specific matters they are experts in. That a thread turns into a slanging match, leading to bitter feelings and loss, is in my opinion unacceptable.

Now, I know that I am quite famous for thrashing the few idiots who occasionally wander here. This is usually for the sake of our group, weeding those dubious characters out of the MaidenFans family to have them expose their stupidity and ignorance elsewhere. I also have my opinions and sometimes strong feelings about certain topics and, being merely human, I sometimes overreact too. Still, I'm trying to look at this as objectively as I can and I urge you all to show more tolerance towards people who have different opinions from yours, explaining why you do not agree and exposing your own views in a clear and concise manner.


I have one final plea:

Perun: come back, please mate.​
 
Maverick said:
-- and, it should be pointed out, a brilliant moderator --
Click to expand...
I agree - a voice of reason was he. This is a real, real shame that Perun chose to do this and I do hope it's only a temporary.

I do wish that people could just be a little bit more tactful in their postings - before you send a post, read the damn thing. If you feel anger, walk away from it and come back after you've chilled out a bit.

And it's good to see a Mav post again. :D
 
I kept an eye on that thread and the apparent anger among highly valued members was the reason I've abstained from adding my own two bits.  I was shocked when I read  Perun's post about leaving the forum.  I hope he reconsiders and comes back.
 
Never a truer word was spoken, Maverick, and it's great to have you posting again, even if the only reason is this sorry discussion.

I know that you'll be reading this, Perun, and although I've said it before...you'll be sorely missed.  If you don't come back...it won't be the same without you.
 
You know how in the movie, "Unforgiven," there were a number of points at which someone, anyone, could have diffused a bad situation simply by turning the other cheek and forgiving a wrong, real or perceived, done to him or her?  But, no one did, and the film ended in tragedy?  (Hence the name of the film.)  That is not too different from what happened in the discussion that prompted these events, at least until after it was too late, i.e., after Perun jumped off the cliff.  Frankly, having read all the posts in the Canadian seal-hunting thread after-the-fact (although some apparently have been deleted), it seemed like a vigorous debate in which a number of participants were making decent points, albeit some better than others, but obviously not persuading the other side of the debate.  However, some folks took other folks' points of view too personally and perceived certain comments, rightly or wrongly, as personal attacks.  And, like the characters in "Unforgiven," and rather than let it slide, they escalated the situation, leading to unfortunate consequences.  A shame, yet a compelling life lesson.  I'm not suggesting that one must always let personal attacks go unanswered -- we are human beings, not doormats.  But an overreaction to a personal attack, or misperceiving something as a personal attack when it really isn't, rarely if ever leads to a satisfactory outcome. 

I am (relatively) new to the forum and I don't know any of the involved parties personally beyond the limited communications on this forum, so I hope I will be forgiven for injecting this unsolicited observation.  And, it is possible that there was more going on here than is apparent in one isolated discussion thread.  This post is not intended to be an unwelcome or condescending intervention into someone else's personal affairs, though I suppose that it could be read that way.  Rather, it is just one forum member's observation, and a plea to "turn down the volume" on even the most vigorous discussions -- discussions which, as Maverick noted, are perhaps the most rewarding part of this unique forum.  And, needless to say, that forum is a better place with Perun and Forostar and Loosecannon involved. 
 
Oh my, hello Mav, long time no see! Good to have you back! ($yk0_H here by the way)  :bigsmile:

I agree that it's sad to see Perun leave, and I hope to see him return, rather sooner than later.
 
I didn’t pay much attention to that thread and I’m going to read the whole thing after this. It’s sad to see Perun leave I always enjoyed reading his posts and it’s up to him if he wants to come back or not I just hope he does.Hello and a nice post as always.



P.S. Sorry for stealing your avatar always liked it  :innocent:
 
To be honest, I am not, and never really was, one to get into some of the debates that have raged accross this forum over the few years that I've frequented it. Sometimes I'll throw a comment in now and then, or some stupid remark, but nothing really serious. However, that does not mean that I don't pay attention to these threads, or disregard them in the slightest. I read most of them, if they seem to have something interesting to say.

I can honestly say that Perun is one of my favourite members here, for his posts, for his humour and general personality. I would wholeheartedly agree with Mav's comment about Per being a brilliant moderator. I feel that sometimes, personal opinions of a member can cloud certain people's judgement or always treat a post with prejudice. It seemed to me that Per separated his personal opinion and duty as a mod most, if not all, of the time. I may be wrong in some of my assumptions, and forgive me if I sound like an idiot, but that's just the way things seem to me.

It would be a terrible loss to this site, this community as a whole, and many people personally here should he never come back, as it was when Mav origanlly left.

I would love to see Per come back, and Mav to start actively posting again, but unfortunately we can't always have what we want. As long as you both are doing well, it doesn't matter.
 
Wow, looks like I have quite a bit to catch up on. To begin with, welcome back Maverick. Or I suppose in my case, being relatively new here, just welcome Maverick.

I'm at the moment clueless on what exactly happened, but I can't help but feel a bit sad about Perun's absence. I'll remain silent on  the matter until I learn the facts.
 
welcome back Mav 

I didn't know that Perun is missing, as I don't have the time to follow the forum lately
but that's realy VERY sad
:(
he was my best moderator, and I realy appreciated his posts and knowledge


EDIT :
just read that thread, quite surprised about how -and how quickly- it turned out like this
 
It really is a shame that nobody does mentiont the threat (no mispelling here), yet we all know which one it is. For myself I stopped reading it after the first few posts.

I do hope indeed that when the emotions are a bit calmed (Albie, I could not agree more to your statement about rereading it and walk away if angered). People will have a decent chat person to person.

They say that all bad things have their good sides as well... In this case the rebirth of Mav is the good side. Mav I hope you are doing well!!
 
Doubt his back for good... would be great, but doubt it. What threat you talking about anyway?
 
Well guys, here I am again. Thanks everybody for your support; I guess it's only fair to tell you what went on in my head during this. My main motivation for this action was Foro's post about how the forum might better be off without him. I felt the only way to safely prevent him from leaving was leaving myself. It was a bit of a short-circuit reaction, also triggered by the amount of emotion that had been put into the thread by its participated, me included. I felt that it was going way over the top, and it simply wasn't worth it. However, I did not consider this a permanent action, but just decided to take a time out and observe if things would cool down again- and they did, fortunately.
So I hope that I set some sort of symbol not to take things too seriously here and put too many emotions into it. I would like to mention that Foro and I talked earlier today, that there are no bad feelings between us whatsoever and that we are good friends, regardless of what happened.

So, thanks again everybody for your kind posts and finally: Welcome back, Mav!
 
Great to have you back Perun, and I understand your motivation for leaving.  I hope this goes to show the value of you and Forostar as members of the MF community  :)

edit: oh, and the countless "Welcome Back Mav"s surely show the appreciation of him, even if he's not here to stay  :)
 
Good to see that Foro and Per patched things up. My return was not in vain, unlike my return to someone else...

And many thanks all for the soppy "welcome back" posts!  :)
 
Yes, and here's yet another one for you Maverick; Welcome back, and I hope you stay here too  :P.

The same goes for Per!
 
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