First time I'm writing lyrics

[pilau]

What do you think? I don't have a name for this one, but I was feeling inspired today and came up with this:

Intro:
Where are you?
Where am I?
Out of focus
Out of my head

Who are you?
What am I?
You're you
Out of this world

You're up there
Up in the sky
You're not here
So where am I?

Verse 1:
You're not sure of your place
You think you've lost it somewhere along the way
Instead of living all your dreams
You've just forgotten really what it means

Verse 2:
The grind is taking up it's toll
But you're sitting still when the ball's in your court
Cannot leave it up to fate
How many times have you felt it's just too late?

Bridge
Sure you've got to have it
How can you forget it
Chasing after what you really want to be

Someday you'll regret it
Don't think it won't matter
It's your life don't waste it throw it away

Chorus
Can't see my path nobody's there to hear me call
I'm sleeping through my days oh how to stop this fall
I am all excuses when the challenges arise
Tonight I'm dreaming of how I'd wish my life

Verse 3:
Day by day just cycling back and forth
Cannot call that living, you were there long ago
The future is another deadly friend
But for you tomorrow is an excuse for today

Bridge
When was your last time
Excitment's far bygone
Thrill is something only stories sell

Every day's the same
And you feel ashamed
Because you waste your life you throw it away

Chorus
Can't see my path nobody's there to hear me call
I'm sleeping through my days oh how to stop this fall
I am all excuses when the challenges arise
Tonight I'm dreaming of how I'd wish my life

SOLO!

Verse 4:
After all is said and done
The beast inside of you released from it's rein
Awaken, a surge of energy
Pure and unscathed born of misery

Verse 5:
When you put your mind to it you know
Something that you've learned quite a while ago
Feel it trickling down your spine
Time to fire up your life is on the line

Bridge:
Finally you get it
It's been there sleeping
All this time you had it in your hands

Life's what you make of it
Never give up on it
You're the source of power to make your dreams come true

Chorus 2:
I see the path ahead I hear my life it calls
Been sleeping through my days I haven't lost it all!
Prove myself I'm worthy when the challenges arise
Today I woke up to the first day of my life

Outro:
Where am I?
I am here.

---

What do you think?

 

[Forostar]

From a technical point of view:
Looks like you paid attention to the rhyming and the rhythm of the words and the length of the sentences?

Must be a very long song!

The message of this song seems an empathic, optimistic one. Well done, I like it!

 

[pilau]

From a technical point of view:
Looks like you paid attention to the rhyming and the rhythm of the words and the length of the sentences?

I have! I like the pace. I have some sort of melody in my head, but I want to get it right - something dramatic and filled with emotion.

Must be a very long song!

At first I opted for a short one, but then I said - hell, this one can be EPIC. When I'll finish writing all the music, then we'll see I'll probably take a lot of influence from TFF because that's my main listen lately (duh), so It'll probably turn into some mind blowing 8 or 9 minute long number!

The message of this song seems an empathic, optimistic one. Well done, I like it!

Thanks a lot Foro!

 

[Forostar]

The content reminds me of Maiden's "The Apparition".

 

[Mega]

Damn foro, that's not niceXD


Nice one pilau! I heard Blaze singing it in my head if it means anything.

 

[Forostar]

That was not meant negative. By the way, I like The Apparition. I really think the content of these lyrics have something in common.

 

[pilau]

The content reminds me of Maiden's "The Apparition".

Thanks! This is actually one of my favorite songs - The music might not be that special but the lyrics are awesome and comparing to other Maiden songs, even the outstanding ones - they are different and unique. I see the resemblance between the two songs' lyrics - that message of taking control and investing some thought and work to shape your life:

You can make your own luck
You create your destiny
I believe you have the power if you want to, it's true!

You can do what you want to
If you try a little bit harder
A little bit of faith goes a long way, it does

Nice one pilau! I heard Blaze singing it in my head if it means anything.

Wow, thanks! That's a great compliment!