CHEESEVIVÖR Campaign 1: Iron Battalion, Battle 1 - Athlos vs Holy Martyr

[Perun]

For the prologue, see this link.

Vote for the poll option you want to win!

For the second battle in this campaign, go here.

Campaign 1: Iron Battalion, Battle 1 - Athlos vs Holy Martyr

Athlos. 431 BCE. The most destructive war of antiquity is about to begin. Athens braces itself against the most mortal enemy it is to ever face. Pericles, the legendary strategos steps before the Athenian demos and argues, that humbleness is the greatest trait, and that a true Athenian does not go to war for the pleasure to kill - unlike his enemies - but that he does it to stand as one with his people.

Holy Martyr. Meanwhile, in Sparta, the freeborn Spartiates comb their hair and reminisce the glory of their home. For was it not the Lacedaemonian Leonidas who once stood with 300 Spartans to defend Hellas and the world from the wicked Xerxes and his armies of innumerable Persian slaves?

Athens or Sparta? Choose your side.

 

[Night Prowler]

Athlos: Oh god, the vocals. The vocals, man. The vocals. This is more sad than cheesy

Holy Martyr: This is top quality cheese. I mean, the type of cheese I'd put on my eggpizza, and that's high praise So they get my vote.

 

[Collin]

I'll have to go with Athlos. They're cheesier than Kraft Parmesan Cheese.

 

[Brigantium]

Spaaaaarrrrrtaaaa! Athlos were just awful.

 

[LooseCannon]

This is blasphemy! This is madness!

Madness?! THIS! IS! SPARTA!

*kicks Athlos in the well*

 

[Ariana]

Including Athlos in the game is purely sadistic. I can't believe I had to hear this.

 

[MrKnickerbocker]

Oh my God...I hate you Perun, for making me listen to that.

Athlos sounds like an eighth grader with a basic knowledge of power chords and vocal echo FX, recording a terrible power metal album in his bedroom with computerized drum and keyboard. It's literally the worst.

Holy Martyr is the cheese I shall consume.