CHEESEVIVÖR Campaign 1: Steel Battalion, Battle 1 - Doro vs Majesty

Which band is cheesier?


  • Total voters
    11
  • Poll closed .

Perun

His name struck fear into hearts of men
Staff member
Cheesevivor_zpsd806b2b5.jpg


Any thoughts on a cheese survivor? Purveyors of the most cheesy metal going head to head. :p

It could take the form of a band v band or song v song cheese-off, either based on voting for your favourite of each pairing or voting for whatever you find the cheesiest. Not something to be taken too seriously, although there would be serious opportunities for arguments over what defines cheesy/upsets when someone finds their musical taste defined as cheesy.

I'd only play it if @Perun hosted it :D :D

Pounding hearts calling, like a storm from the north.
I will obey to my sworn oath.
Like warriors are waiting for the Battle...
True Heroes play Heavy Metal!


Gather around me, warriors, and let the War of Steel commence. This is the Cheesevivör!

The object of this crusade is to determine which is the cheesiest band in the world, and which others are just a sad bunch of poseurs.

Rules (of Metal):

Framework

The Cheesevivör works like the Football World Cup. There are 32 bands competing in a total of 64 matches (battles). In each of these matches, people are asked to vote for their FAVOURITE band.

Bands begin the tournament in eight groups (battalions) of four bands each. Each band in the individual groups will be pitched against each other once. The two bands with the highest scores in the group will be promoted to the next stage of the tournament. The other two will be dressed up in crackerjack clothes and be politely asked to leave the hall.

These matches will be open for TWO DAYS.

Ideally, whoever will ascend to the next stage will be decided by the who wins the most matches in the group stage. IF THERE IS A TIE between second and third place, the amount of votes received will decide. If this does not break the tie, a tiebreaker match will be played between the two bands. If there is still a tie, the amount of spikes on the gear worn by the bands on their promo photos decides.

The next stage is the Round of 16. The bands will be jumbled and pitched at each other randomly. However, no two bands previously in one group will compete again at this stage. It then goes on to quarter and semi finals, the third place playoff and the finals, just as in the Football World Cup.

These matches will be open for THREE DAYS.

If there is a tie after day three, the match will be extended for another day. If there is still a tie at the end, there will be a rematch with two new songs (on this, see below). This rematch will again last three days plus one. If there is still a tie in the end, the amount of times the word "steel" appears in the lyrics will decide on who wins.


What to vote for

There will always be one-on-one matches, two a day up to the semifinals. You are supposed to vote for the band you want to win, unlike most other survivors. The official question asked is "Which band is cheesier?".

Each match will feature a round of new songs via YouTube link, i.e. no song will appear twice in the tournament. There is no guarantee on that however: for instance, if Black Death reach the finals and had a rematch every time in the knockout stage, they'll simply run out of unique songs.

This is supposed to keep the survivor interesting for a prolonged period of time. You are asked to listen to each song pitched in a match, because it is unlikely that you will know them all. The songs should ideally influence a member's voting decision.

The idea behind this is also to get some new music exposed here, so each thread will have two songs that most of you will likely not yet have heard yet. Many of these bands are very obscure, and cheesier than you can imagine. I also want a bit of suspense at the beginning, so the individual bands participating will only be revealed as the game proceeds. Keep watching this thread to keep an overview.

So much for the prologue. Let the war begin!

CURRENT STATUS:

Steel Battalion: Majesty secure their round of 16 spot and Iron Fire show no mercy for Doro.
Fire Battalion: Tuatha de Danann are cast to the HolyHell, Alestorm defeat Thor.
Metal Battalion: HammerFall crush Black Death, Cryonic Temple do the same to Lothlöryen.
Warrior Battalion: Battles 3 and 4 now commence.
Sword Battalion: Wizard destroy Doomsword, while Paragon could predictably not stand against Dawnrider.
Hammer Battalion: Sabaton and Powerwolf split in a tie, while Battleroar crushes Arwen.
Thunder Battalion: Manowar make Heimdall taste steel, while Cauldron Born defeat Holy Dragon.
Iron Battalion: Sparta beats Athens again in the Peloponnesian War rematch and undead unicorns prove too much for a Christian to beat.


Battalion Standings
Victory: 3 points. Tie: 1 point. Loss: 0 points.

STEEL BATTALION
1. Majesty (6)
2. Iron Fire (4)
3. Mystic Twilight (1)
4. Doro (0)

FIRE BATTALION
1. Alestorm (6)
2. HolyHell (3)
3. Thor (3)
4. Tuatha de Danann (0)

METAL BATTALION
1. HammerFall (6)
2. Cryonic Temple (6)
3. Black Death (0)
4. Lothlöryen (0)

WARRIOR BATTALION
1. Turisas (3)
2. Grand Magus (3)
3. Battle Beast (0)
4. Swärdh (0)

SWORD BATTALION
1. Wizard (3)
2. Dawnrider (3)
3. Paragon (0)
4. DoomSword (0)

HAMMER BATTALION
1. Battleroar (3)
2. Sabaton (1)
3. Powerwolf (1)
4. Arwen (0)

THUNDER BATTALION
1. Manowar (3)
2. Cauldron Born (3)
3. Heimdall (0)
4. Holy Dragons (0)

IRON BATTALION
Holy Martyr (3)
Gloryhammer (3)
Rob Rock (0)
Athlos (0)

Campaign 1: Steel Battalion, Battle 1 - Doro vs Majesty


Doro. The Queen of Metal. Her career started in the early 1980s with heavy metal warriors Warlock. After the band split up in 1989, Doro continued with a solo career that was initially supposed to be Warlock under a new name. 25 years later, she is still around, and among other things (such as being a staple in German pubs at around 2 am), she is also the patron saint of Wacken. This song was written as the official anthem of the 25th Wacken Open Air festival. The same festival was also the one where the Neon Nights DVD by Heaven and Hell, and the supposed final show by Running Wild were recorded. Anyway, let me tell you from my own experience that the organisers of Wacken tried very hard to push this song on the festival, playing it virtually all the time... but nobody sang along to it. Perhaps that is because it is just a tad too cheesy even by Doro's standards...


Majesty. Of all the Manowar knockoffs Epic True Metal bands out there, Majesty is undoubtedly one of the most dedicated and consistent. Headed by Tarek "MS" Maghary, these guys have been around in one shape or the other (the other being an interlude as "MetalForce") since 1997. Hardly a band in the German metal scene has been so mocked and ridiculed, but I believe that is in part also because of their quality. There are a lot worse and more ridiculous bands out there, but they don't get as much attention. And that is part of what makes a cheesy band cheesy: They have to at least be able to play their stuff. Otherwise, they're not cheesy - they are just crap.
 
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Majesty is one of my favorites to win this. Supreme cheesiness and the song you posted isn't even their cheesiest :D

Doro annoys me honestly. It's not as cheesy as much as its annoying.
 
Well, with a bit of luck, there's six cheesier ones by them yet to come. :D
 
Will we vote for Majesty?

YES WE WILL!

That Doro song is so atrocious. It's a piece of moldy of cheese. No one wants to eat moldy cheese.
 
There will now be regular status updates on the progress of the tournament in the original post of this thread.
 
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