Am I a horrible person?

I

IronDuke

Ancient Mariner
I need some opinions, guys and gals. Here's the story:

I, my girlfriend, and another couple went to a hockey game tonight (My team won 3-0!). During one of the intermissions, we decided to walk around the concourse to stretch our legs, after sitting for so long.
We bought some hot chocolate and were sipping it, watching the zamboni flood the ice. As were were doing this, the crowds of people were going by us, to the washrooms or concessions stands. Then three young black men, all clean cut and dressed well (blue jeans and sweatshirts - no 'gangsta' attire) walked by.

They did and said nothing threatening - they probably didn't even see us there. But, for some reason, I instinctively saw them as a threat and moved to put myself between my girlfriend and them. I didn't react this way for any other people at the game, just these black men.

Am I racist, without admitting it to myself? Why would I have such a base and old-fashioned reaction? Am I just an ass?
 
No, pretty much everyone reacts the same to things like that.

Ive had experiences with black guys ending up going out with the girls that Ive liked, and really it pissed me off. Nowadays Im always getting in between black guys and the girls that I would go out with if given the chance.

Its all based on experience, also, cleanly dressed guys are more appealing to women than saaaay..."gangstas"...and its human nature to be worried about something happening. It just shows how much you love your girlfriend.
 
Protecting instinctively your girlfriend was a noble attitude. Now, concerning the three young Blacks, I just don't understand. I can usually recognise a threat from my fellow human beings pretty well, but I base my judgement on many parameters, the colour of skin being definitely NOT one of them.

Maybe you should explain why the sight of those blokes made you react like this. Is it a cultural thing? Would any White in Canada respond the same way? Look for the foundations of this rather irrational behaviour (to my eyes, anyway). Maybe you're not horrible, but simply somehow 'conditioned'.
 
In response to the Duke: if this was an isolated occurence, then it does not make you a racist by itself (though it certainly is alarming). The question is, do you react to black people this way all the time? Remember, one incident does not constitue a trend.

In response to Liberation: what you posted is, without a doubt, the most idiotic thing I've ever seen on these boards. "pretty much everyone reacts the same to things like that" ????? No. Not even close. There are many people, such as myself, who don't react with fear when approached by a black person. If you do, then you need to examine why that is.
 
[!--QuoteBegin-SinisterMinisterX+Nov 26 2005, 09:29 AM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(SinisterMinisterX @ Nov 26 2005, 09:29 AM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]In response to the Duke: if this was an isolated occurence, then it does not make you a racist by itself (though it certainly is alarming). The question is, do you react to black people this way all the time? Remember, one incident does not constitue a trend.

In response to Liberation: what you posted is, without a doubt, the most idiotic thing I've ever seen on these boards. "pretty much everyone reacts the same to things like that" ????? No. Not even close. There are many people, such as myself, who don't react with fear when approached by a black person. If you do, then you need to examine why that is.
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Here here.

The world we live in is a rapidly expanding, multi cultural society and yes in areas there may be tension bewtween different groups. Simply being afraid of someone due to the colour of their skin is deplorable.

I would admit that I if I were with my wife and we were approached by a "gang" of any colour or race I would feel a protective instinct if they appeared threatening in anyway.

And threatening does not mean how they are dressed. the "gangsta" culture is very popular among both black and white people and symbolises often their taste in music rather than any criminal activity. A small minority may be corrupt and violent but I believe the fear of all "gangsta" types is born from hysteria in the media, image portrayal in films etc.

I mean is a group of young black men dressed in gangsta attire going to be any more threatening to a white couple than a group of young white "moshers" "rockers" "goths" etc to a black couple?

Too much is made of image. People often group towards a "scene" or a "look" in order to fit in, to be part of a family. It does not necessarily dictate that because they are different they are inherently evil or mean harm.

What a boring world it would be if we all looked the same, thought the same and acted the same.
 
Duke, I think this is some sort of conditioning. Somewhere you are obviously confronted with the stereotype of "black=evil". Where that is I don't know; it could be on television, in films, in books- somewhere where a bad person, or a group of bad people are portrayed that are black. They could as well be all left-handed or wear purple shirts, but the attribute of them being black stuck with you; and now your unconsciousness reacts to that. Find the source and from there you can work on it.
 
This is the first time I realised what I was doing - but chances are that I've reacted this way before without knowing it.

I felt really bad about this once I began to think about it. I consider myself quite open-minded, so the fact I had this kind of reactioin makes me call into question many of the things I think I believe.
 
Duke, do not read too much into it. It was a subconcious reflex that means very little. because your body acts like that on instinct, does not mean you are a racist at mind. I am sure television has built up our minds to behave like this, even though when we think logically we would never act like this.
 
The predjudice about black people has been in our minds since generations. The papers doesn't make it better nor do the movies. It's nothing you can control and it doesn't make you a bad person. The persons to blame are the people who took black men and women as slaves. But during the past generations, we are on our way to be more open minded and hopefully the predjusices will soon be gone.
It's nothing to be embarresed of, it's just what the world has made us.
 
Pblic enemy nmbr 1, what you said wasn't very bright. The Whites should be scared of Blacks because their ancestors enslaved them? If I follow our reasoning, the Germans should be wary of Jews beause their forebears sent them to concentration camps. Hmmm... [!--emo&:huh:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/huh.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'huh.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
No no. that was not what i meant.The whites thought the black people had quite less IQ. And they saw them as animals who could attack the wites. It's true.
After they were freed, some people were afraid ot them and still the many black are poor and that forces them to become criminals (of course not all of them, just a few). That is why (I think) people might be afraid of them. Just as I said, Prejudices. The post wasn't complete.
 
Duke, don't think that you were being racist in anyway. You were just using your natural ability to survive and adapt in this world. It's nothing to do with racism. Some people just get all twitchy once skin colour is involved. In a related way,
[a href=\'http://www.mtvhell.com/articles/robrace.html\' target=\'_blank\']here's something I found interesting.[/a]
 
Natural ability to survive and adapt...? What the fuck? This is utter bullshit. The "natural ability to survive and adapt" is only applicable in a state of nature, which a hockey arena is not (generally). And the shit about "The persons to blame are the people who took black men and women as slaves". This is utter bullshit. Black people enslaved other black people, then sold them to white people. Besides, you can't shift blame to people who lived hundreds of years ago. That's the same utter nonsense as black families suing white families today and getting reparations.

Duke, you're my best friend, but distrusting these people just because they are black is wrong. Especially in Wolfville. I could understand it in an area prone to racial violence like Harlem, because white people do get murdered there just for being white. But seriously, man. Was there something else? Like did they give off a vibe of being dangerous, because you have to trust your gut...but blaming skin colour is seriously not cool.

Everyone who thinks that reacting to your natural instinct like this is wrong. Your natural instinct no longer applies once you are in civilized society. What applies is your common sense, and making excuses is what leads to racial hatred and distrust.
 
When it comes to threat, my "natural instinct" certainly doesn't take the colour of skin into account. I usually don't even pay attention to it.

I remember decking this bloke who was slam-dancing too close to me at a Maiden concert back in 2000. I'd warned him a couple of times, but he was out of his head and didn't heed my warnings. Only afterwards did I realise he was Black (and quite taller than me!). Does that make me a racist? Or simply prejudiced against people who are taller than me (there'd a be few! [!--emo&:P--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--] ).

Seriously, I only react to threat and a group of Blacks walking past me and behaving normally wouldn't raise my alarm level. A bunch of white, ginger-haired lager-louts would, though!
 
LC, the thing is that I didn't even think - I just acted. I didn't say to myself "Black guys! I had better take protective action." I just did it. Only later did I think about it.

What I want to know is why this was an automatic reaction? If there was some thought process involved, I'd be able to explain it via be being a racist bastard or them looking threatening (which they really did not)
 
[!--QuoteBegin-IronDuke+Nov 26 2005, 06:27 PM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(IronDuke @ Nov 26 2005, 06:27 PM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]What I want to know is why this was an automatic reaction? If there was some thought process involved, I'd be able to explain it via be being a racist bastard or them looking threatening (which they really did not)
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Ever since we were young, we have always associated "black" or "dark" with evil. Dark metal, the dark side, fear of the dark. Look at Starwars, I have myself not watched any of the films, but I have heard that the baddies are the dark forces. It's the same with LotR. Sub-conciously we associate blackness with evil. Look at Black Sabbath for proof. I would not call you a "racist bastard", just a tortured soul. [!--emo&:P--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
I didn't even read what you said duke and I can answer that with a great big "YES"! LOL, now I'll read it.
 
[!--QuoteBegin-Conor+Nov 26 2005, 06:32 PM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(Conor @ Nov 26 2005, 06:32 PM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]Ever since we were young, we have always associated "black" or "dark" with evil.  Dark metal, the dark side, fear of the dark.  Look at Starwars, I have myself not watched any of the films, but I have heard that the baddies are the dark forces.  It's the same with LotR.  Sub-conciously we associate blackness with evil.  Look at Black Sabbath for proof.  I would not call you a "racist bastard", just a tortured soul. [!--emo&:P--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
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Maybe we have, but black as a skin colour is something different from "darkness". I think you're making a huge logical leap assuming that the two are that tightly related.
 
[!--QuoteBegin-IronDuke+Nov 26 2005, 05:32 AM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(IronDuke @ Nov 26 2005, 05:32 AM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]Then three young black men, all clean cut and dressed well (blue jeans and sweatshirts (....)
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Hum! Black men dressed well are dubious... you were lucky enough; could have ended worse! [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:P--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Well it all comes down to this: If you are worried of being a racist, then you are not. Racists are not ashamed of being a racist. Nor do they fear being one.
 
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