The Mercenary, the Assassin and the Apparition walk into a bar.

Magnus

Magnus

Pica Serdica
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(Inspired by this post by @Pibroch_Whistler) :
Pibroch_Whistler said:
whilst listening to "The Mercenary", "The Assassin" and "The Apparition" (among many other "The ..." Maiden tracks), I often imagine that the Mercenary, the Assassin, and The Apparition are sailing at sea (and thus they become sea-faring epics also!)

The Unbeliever never sets sail though - for in my dreams, he's afraid of planes, trains, automobiles, and boats - and thus The Unbeliever only travels where his feet can take him
Click to expand...
 
The bartender asks each of them to share their key lesson in life.

The mercenary says, “Show them no fear.”

The assassin says, “Better watch out.”

The apparition says, “Say what you want, but I’m still better than any goddamned weekend warrior!”
 
Apparition: "My first three letters can be found on every smartphone. Now you do better."
Mercenary: "My first letter is the Roman number for 1000. That´s more impressive."
Both The Apparition and The Mercenary drink from their icecold beers.
The Assassin replied: "You two really think you are something don´t you? Sitting on my three first letters."
 
The Mercenary gets a Trooper Red&Black and ten quid because he said he'd drink anything for money and the bartender had to clear out the fridge. The Assassin gets a Staropramen because he said he'd kill for a decent beer. The Apparition gets a Bud Light because he's fine with having something that has the visual appearance of beer.
 
Then The Final Frontier opens the door and wonders: "Hi fella's. I'm trying to decide where to have my final drink of the night."

The proprietor, a chap called Iron Maiden, appears and says: "Won't you come into my room? I wanna show you all my beers."
 
The Angel and the Gambler enter the bar.
They see the threesome and ask simultaneously:
"Don´t you think I should buy you, don't you think I should buy you, don´t you think I should buy you a beer....Hmm?"
 
It is The Mercenary he stopped. He tells about how he was at first fascinated by the albatross, then started to fear it. The Mercenary comments. "Show it no fear".

The Mariner tells how he then shot the albatross, an act for which he was shunned by his shipmates. The Mercenary says: "Show them no fear, show them no pain". The Mariner proceeds to tell how the ship came to a complete halt out in the open sea, and saw no-one before a ship came towards them. There were two on board, Death and the nightmare Life-in-Death. The Mercenary says "Show them no fear, show them no p..." before the Mariner gets enough and walks to a table where the Angel and the Gambler are playing with a pair of dice. He starts getting flashbacks to how he once was doomed to be the only man alive by a roll of the dice.

He goes to the bartender and asks for some water.

Feel free to help this tale go on and on and on.
 
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