Starting a band?

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Anonymous

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[a href=\'http://www.epinions.com/content_4241531012\' target=\'_blank\']Guide to starting a metal band[/a]
Just something I found when randomly searching through Google. I found the descriptions of the genres funny, although they are similar to the "how to save a princess" gags.
 
[!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--] Witty and well written. I loved the Gothic bit.
 
Hilarious! [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Hahaha [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
"Black metal:
...you must write about a million songs, record them in your garage on a cassette so it sounds like you play in a garbage can, and then instantly burn any evidence that the recording ever took place and kill anyone that witnessed it. If people outside the band have heard it, you are no longer kvlt."


[!--emo&:lmao:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
You are only allowed to write in two styles - slow ballads and at about 240 bpm or so. You need, I repeat NEED to have a keyboard, and he must be faster than your guitarist but only get half the chicks. You are also required to read every fantasy book ever written, especially Tolkien and the ones involving dragons. Dragons are very metal.

DragonForce anyone?
 
Pirate Metal?
[!--emo&:blink:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/blink.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'blink.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Where's Gore Metal? Exhumed would be very angry if they saw this. [!--emo&:angry:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/mad.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'mad.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Try this..i'm not sure it's being serious or not..because it has a guide to nu-metal as well.

[a href=\'http://www.entertainment.inuk.com/music/genreguides.html\' target=\'_blank\']http://www.entertainment.inuk.com/music/genreguides.html[/a]
 
Remember fellow grim, frostbitten warriors, a very important rule is that whenever Cradle of Filth are mentioned, you must refer to them as "McDonalds Black Metal" for they are untr00 and not very kvlt at all. Nevertheless, shall we play the classic True Vodka Assault song "sodomising 12 year olds is kvlt"?

Ummm... I really don't what the hell is going through my head these days. [!--emo&:blush:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/blush.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'blush.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
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