International capitalism

SinisterMinisterX

SinisterMinisterX

Illuminatus
Staff member
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create irritating cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ENGLISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The younger one is rather attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have 2 stolen bulls, but you think they are cows.
You die the first time you try and milk them.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
Who cares, The EU really owns them now and the pub is still serving.
 
wow, thats funnier than my dog slipping on his own slobber while trying to eat a cd that is clearly stuck to the floor, and thats funny! Good one SMX.
 
[!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
CANADIAN CORPORATION:
You and your neighbours all have two cows, but they are taken by the government and given to Quebec ad agencies and to corrupt Indian bands in a gesture of misguided liberalism.

/bitter
 
[!--emo&:lmao:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol.gif\' /][!--endemo--] Excellent SMX!

Another "Swiss cow" story would be:
You have two cows
You paint one purple and give it to the Germans to make ads for you



(May I point out that the famous Milka cow has never grazed Swiss pastures, but in fact lives in the Allgäu region of Germany)

/anti-Kraut mood
 
CANADIAN CORPORATION PART II

You have 10 cows
Your little brother wants one
In order to keep the cow, you give your little brother money you stole from him.
 
MEXICAN CORPORATION:
you have two cows, but instead of doing anything productive with them you decide to take a siesta and call it a day. After all there's always mañana.
 
Another German cooperation

You have two cows, an East-cow and a West-cow.
You can't decide who has to get up in the morning to milk which cow.
Both cows die.
 
Altered to suit my friends well:

A GREEK CORPORATION
You never had any cow.
You illegaly pretend you have a million cows and take the EU subsidies.

A SCOTTISH CORPORATION
Who cares about cows, the pub is still serving.


[!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]

Cheers
 
[!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:lmao:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol.gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:lmao:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol.gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
A SWEDISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows.
You have to sell them to afford the cow tax.
 
ROMANIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You keep milking them so you can exceed the five-year milking plan.
After five years of milking and storaging milk, you realise communism has fallen.
 
NORWEGIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't give a damn about them.
Instead you go shoot some wolfs, cause they are eating your sheeps.
 
ANOTHER CANADIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. One is French and the other is English. The English one gives milk diligently. The French one refuses.

They promote the French cow.
 
North Alabama Corporation

You have 2 cows
You get horribly tore up with your friends
While drunk, you knock over sleeping cows for fun



Sadly, I've actually done this once, and it was pretty fun. [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--] [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
so I've heard, I want to go over to the Univerity agricultural fields and do the same thing hahahaha. I hope this summer I get drunk enough to actually do it.
 
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