I really need some advice...

[Yax]

I've just recently started the "Gymnasium" which is where you can keep studying after the end of the elementary scool at grade 9. I'm in a really nice class where everything is fine, except for one problem... There is one boy who seems to have a fear of socializing, and he hasn't said a word since I first met him two weeks ago. When the teachers ask him about his name he just stare blankly at the floor or the book. When we stand outside the classroom waiting for the lesson to begin, he'll always stand face down and sometime he looks up to check his watch. When it's lunch he is never ever present and if I ask if he wants to go and eat together he just ignores me.

I have made a very small progress with him which is when I hand him a paper, he takes it at once, and he doesn't wait a minute as he did before. But of course, that's not enough, and he'll face some serious problem in both his studying since arguing is a big part of my program and the real world if he can't talk to people. 

Does anybody has advice regarding how I shall proceed? The teachers don't do anything, so I thought I'd ask here.

 

[Anonymous]

obviously i don't know too much about your situation and your environment, but i think you're doing the right thing... it's clear he's got some personal issues - if you really want to help him, just make sure you don't pressure him and in time maybe he'll open up.
don't you have a school psychiatrist or something you could talk to about this?
good luck

 

[Yax]

don't you have a school psychiatrist or something you could talk to about this?

Well, we don't have that. What we do have is the nurse who has the really basic psychology education. But that's about it.

 

[Anomica]

Yax, I'm really impressed by your mature way of handling this! I'd say that all you can do is try and be nice to him, talk to him and maybe he'll crawl out of his shell eventually. Doesn't your school have a "kurator" (Swedish word for councellor, rather than psychiatrist)? The problem is that in Sweden today, it's not really a lot you can do. I think it's up to this kid's parents to talk to the school officials - nurse, teacher, principal - and let them handle it...unfortunately. That's the way the system is supposed to work and it doesn't, but it's probably all you can do, aside from what you're doing already. Keep trying to be a friend as long as you can handle it and maybe you'll succeed. It may also be that this kid has some kind of diagnosis, like ADHD, Autism or something and then there's not a lot you can do.

I still think you're doing the right thing here, however, and a lot of school kids wish for class mates like you.

 

[Anonymous]

If you really can't reach him yourself, I would suggest talking to a teacher and asking him if (s)he can talk to the boy's parents... or maybe try to get contact to the parents yourself and talk to them about your concerns.

 

[Raven]

Hmmm...I've never heard of anything quite like this.  I think you're taking the right way about it, Yax.  Perhaps you should try and engage him more...if you're sitting beside him, ask him if he got the answer to question 11 or something...if you can get a response, that'd be a start.  Other than that, you should talk to your teacher, because if this kid isn't involved in the class, he's going to have some serious problems later on, and he needs someone to get him over these hurdles.  I agree with Anomica, though...you've taken a really mature way of going about this.

 

[Yax]

I've already tried to speak to him in that way, but it doesn't seem to work. I've thought a lot of this, and I think that he might perhaps not been very well treated in his previous class because of his fear of socializing and that makes him even more afraid. But he might perhaps speak a little when he is more used to the class, in, let's say three weeks he might dare to speak. Or, maybe he has a voiceproblem and he speaks in a strange way and therefore are afraid to be bullied because of it?

But I'll keep going as usual, and I'll speak to the teacher who is responsible for my class about what can be done. 

 

[Anonymous]

maybe you should find a way to speak to him and get to know him in private, not in a crowded environment like the classroom or the school yard... maybe ask him if it's alright if you walk him home, and if he doesn't answer just assume he said yes  ^_^

 

[IronDuke]

Light him on fire. Not his entire torso, just an arm or a leg. Once he puts out the fire, you'll both be able to grab a beer and laugh about it all. All of a sudden, he's being social and whatnot. Problem solved.

There are few problems which fire can't solve.

 

[Anomica]

Light him on fire. Not his entire torso, just an arm or a leg. Once he puts out the fire, you'll both be able to grab a beer and laugh about it all. All of a sudden, he's being social and whatnot. Problem solved.

There are few problems which fire can't solve.

That's what I call an universal solution. Great idea, your dukeship :wacko:

 

[Raven]

Light him on fire. Not his entire torso, just an arm or a leg. Once he puts out the fire, you'll both be able to grab a beer and laugh about it all. All of a sudden, he's being social and whatnot. Problem solved.

There are few problems which fire can't solve.

This is Duke in his 'diplomatic' mode.

 

[Yax]

Light him on fire. Not his entire torso, just an arm or a leg. Once he puts out the fire, you'll both be able to grab a beer and laugh about it all. All of a sudden, he's being social and whatnot. Problem solved.

There are few problems which fire can't solve.

That just might have worked! But, unfortunantly, I've just found out he suffers from autism, so there's not really anything I can do except being nice to him...

 

[Onhell]

That is unfortunate, at least it is not as severe as those who are fully withdrawn. I mean he did take that piece of paper from you...

 

[Yax]

That is unfortunate, at least it is not as severe as those who are fully withdrawn. I mean he did take that piece of paper from you...

Well, right you are! If he is too withdrawn he wouldn't be allowed to study in a 'normal' class. He studies the same subjects as the rest of us, except for social studies, and neither does he have gymnastics. The reasons for him not studying social studies are obvious, and so are the gymnastics. But I really don't understand how he can be graded in english, since he doesn't speak at all. But he is quite good in english. He scored quite high on a very wierd test we had. It was in fact the worst test I've ever taken, and I almost got failed too! Well, that might be be because there were alternative answers in the reality to the 'fill in the missing word' questions, but the teacher only gave points if it was the exact word as it was in the key...

 

[Natalie]

That explains alot. There's a book called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time which is written from the perspective of a boy with autism. It might give you a good idea of what goes on inside. Even if it doesn't, it's still an amazing read, and extremely well written.