Duke, we need our country NOW!

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So, I was reading my daily Tagesschau newsletter the other day, which is my current replacement of a decent newspaper. The Tagesschau is a daily newsprogramme in Germany, and its internet service is very elaborate and rich with basic information and links, and everything is neutral.

The first headline was (translated): "Springer takes over ProSiebenSat.1"

Cryptic for most non-Germans and a lot of Germans too, I suppose. So, let me explain.

The Axel Springer AG, founded by Axel Springer in 1946, is one of the biggest media companies in Europe, and publishes a number of newspapers and magazines, the BILD being their flagship, the biggest newspaper in Germany. It is mainly a sub-par gossip paper, just like the Sun or the Enquirer. But of course, with a readership of millions and millions (the last thing I read, there are 5 million issues of the BILD in print daily), Springer can't resist being political.
Springer publications are statedly anti-intellectual. The political view is mostly conservative, in a very dirty sense, and often nationalist. Springer readers are often quoted saying things like "Stupid foreigners. Come into our country and take our jobs. Blame the EU".

ProSiebenSat.1 is another media company. Sat.1 was the first private television channel in Germany, and Pro Sieben to this day remains one of the biggest. The company owns, to my knowledge, four channels, Pro Sieben, Sat.1, Kabel 1 and N24. I think I remember reading somewhere that DSF belongs to it too, but I'm not sure about that.
Pro Sieben and Sat.1 are two of the most popular channels, with most US comedy shows being aired there, and most trend setting shows coming from these two channels as well. They air soap operas and talk shows most of the time. Kabel 1 is more of a channel airing classics, such as Star Trek, and airing classic Hollywood films and TV shows. N24 is a news channel airing documentaries most of the time (most of them about various history- and war-related subjects, and some science).
All channels also air news of some sort, in news shows, gossip shows or in any other way.

Springer intends to buy ProSiebenSat.1 and integrate it into their empire. We will have such a thing as "Springer TV". A monoply of opinion, this opinion being harmful.

I'm outta here.
 
I'm with ya, buddy.

I'm going to call up the government of Equador tomorrow morning and ask if we can buy the Galapagos Islands for the purpose of establishing a new country.


[img src=\'http://www.cnn.com/EARTH/9707/17/galapagos/galapagos.lg.jpg\' border=\'0\' alt=\'user posted image\' /]

We'll ban cars and ride around on turtleback all day, as God intended man to do.
[img src=\'http://places.mongabay.com/south_america/galapagos_tortoise.jpg\' border=\'0\' alt=\'user posted image\' /]


We'll dine on a different kind of finch each night:
[img src=\'http://www.rit.edu/~rhrsbi/GalapagosPages/Pictures/LandBirds/FinchTypes.jpeg\' border=\'0\' alt=\'user posted image\' /]




All we need now is a name four our new country. I was thinking something like "The No Bullshit Republic of Awesome" or "Dukeperunia"
 
Don't you think the finches are a bit too small?
I'd rather have albatross.

"I haven't got choc-ices. I only got albatross. Albatross!"
"What flavour is it?"
"It's a bird, innit? It's a bloody sea bird... it's not any bloody flavour. Albatross!"
"Do you get wafers with it?"
"'Course you don't get bloody wafers with it! Albatross!"
 
You guys are serious, ain't you? Why not an island or two, don't you think a whole archipelago would be a bit too costy? Can I go there for holidays? [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Black Ace, you don't understand, you'll be imprisoned there anyway! These guys want to find you and lock you on these islands with many types of finch and tortoises and an albatross.
 
mmmm....freshly stewed Albatross!


Anyone can visit as long as they agree to abide by the rules* Perun and I choose.




[span style=\'font-size:8pt;line-height:100%\']*Rules subject to change without notice[/span]
 
This looks a lot like Peter Purvis material to me.

So I abuse the situation to mention it, and at the same time I increase my post count [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--] Brilliant!
 
I concur completely. The sooner that we get IronDuke and Perun off to some isolated island, the better. [!--emo&:P--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
[!--QuoteBegin-SinisterMinisterX+Aug 9 2005, 04:10 AM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(SinisterMinisterX @ Aug 9 2005, 04:10 AM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]I concur completely. The sooner that we get IronDuke and Perun off to some isolated island, the better. [!--emo&:P--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
[snapback]114580[/snapback]​
[/quote]

Then we are all happy [!--emo&:)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/smile.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'smile.gif\' /][!--endemo--]

On another note, I propose our national anthem to be the Lumberjack Song:


I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK!

(piano vamp)

Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

CHORUS

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)
 
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