Do I kill him?

I

IronDuke

Ancient Mariner
Here's the situation guys:
I'm in Newfoundland. My girlfriend is in Nova Scotia. To get there, I'd have to either fly (expensive, 1 hour plus another driving) or drive (8 hours on the highway, 8 more on a boat, 5 more driving once I ge to the mainland)

Essentially, we're apart until Christmas.

This guy nearby her, who has known her for a long time, has recently broken up with his girlfriend. As his friend, my girl is helping him get through it (the dude has other problems too). But lately he has, apparently, been getting "flirty" with her, and seems to be hanging around a lot when there's no real reason.
My girl is a little creeped out, but is the kind who doesn't want to upset him. She repeatedly lets him know that she's not interested, yet he still comes on a bit too strongly.
She doesn't want to lose him as a friend, so she can't just sever contact completely.

So, what do I do? I trust her completely, but I don't like this dude. My usual response would be to simply intimidate him into backing off (without threats - I'm a very big dude, so I just glare at people. I'm one scary looking mofo when I want to be). That won't work in this case because of the distance, and this guy is so freakin' pathetic that he'd just turn into a little puddle of blubbering wimpness. I don't want to put him through that, despite his creepiness.

So what should I do?
 
Oh by all means fly there (who cares how expensive) and reassert yourself as THE man in her life. Either give him a severe beating or give him a severe beating.

Even though I have personally had a horrible experiance as far as trust goes when away from the significant other, you must ALWAYS trust your girl, no matter what, it is what the relationship is based on. At the same time you MUST tell your girl that it's you or that creep, who cares how good of friends they are, he is breaching that friendship by flirting beyond "friendly", from what you let on. In other words she has to tell him either he tones it down or you will personally give him a severe beating and she will no longer want contact with him. Then, if you wish, shoot him. Just make sure you leave the body where the polar bears can get to it.
 
On a more serious note, I think Onhell is right, somehow. Maybe you shouldn't hurt that bloke physically, but I think you should come over to your girlfriend for a spontaneous visit, to show her how much you love her and give that guy a serious signal of warning.
 
As Onhell said, you don't just leave it be but you catch a flight and have a serious talk with him about what will happen if he continues. On the other hand, it could be good to do it without possibly wrecking their friendship. In that case, Perun's suggestion seems quite good. You fly over there, suprise her and at the same time mark your territory. If he still flirts, then... Punch him. He know the rules. If someone has a boyfriend, then it's taboo to start advancing on her.

If you wish to be mellow (I wouldn't want to be) but still making sure he does not continue, as he might even if you come over there. Take him out for a beer. Or, many of 'em, so you can speak to him when he's off guard. Find out why he flirts with her and if he really is serious about it. And then,  let him loose on another girl who's not in a relationship. Just go to the bar and make sure he won't go home without someone's phonenumber. 
 
No, not a surprise visit. Just plan something for a weekend or something. There is no need for violence either. The bloke should get the message.
 
I may offer a female point of view here, if it's worth anything.
If I love a man and he's far away and we can't meet up for the moment, I'm very careful about keeping other males at a certain distance. Even if it's a friend, or an ex who became a friend, I'm making it clear that there is a limit. The important thing is to persevere and the ones who are interested in more than just friendship will eventually get it.

To answer your question, Duke: I appreciate if my man asserts his position somehow. I personally don't mind if it's physical dominance. Depends on what your girlfriend knows from you.
 
Perhaps you should find out why he broke up with his former girlfriend ;). This point may be of importance to properly figure out the reasons for his present attitude.
I believe that violence cannot help at all, turning the poor bastard into a victim, hence helping him to complain.
 
JackKnife said:
I believe that violence cannot help at all
Click to expand...

Although I agree with this statement, I must admit that whoever messes with my woman is in for some real trouble.  :mad:

No, no. I'm not a violent person. Honest!  :blush:
 
I must admit, it saddens me that some may think that the best resolution to issues as above is violence or intimidation. I think it is a good idea to meet with your girlfriend (as suggested by Perun) but I would take that as the second stage. Get her to come to you for a time and if not practical, then go to her.

This guy has issues that he needs to deal with and it may be best to let him deal with it on his own. He's on the rebound and is looking to ease his pain by seeking the comfort of another female. He will never learn if that is all he wants to do.
 
Finally it seems that most of the problems happening in the world are caused by women don't you think guys? :D
 
JackKnife said:
Finally it seems that most of the problems happening in the world are caused by women don't you think guys? :D
Click to expand...

It all started with Eve, and don't forget this one too:

Helen_of_Troy_MMIV.jpg

;) :innocent:
 
I'm deeply sorry, but it's not our fault that men are so susceptible to .... ehrmm... love. :P
 
Serratia said:
I'm deeply sorry, but it's not our fault that men are so susceptible to .... ehrmm... love. :P
Click to expand...
Hum you're right Maverick, Helen of Troy was even worse the Eve; she proved unable to finish her sewing! (gossip & laziness)
:smartarse:
 
JackKnife said:
Hum you're right Maverick, Helen of Troy was even worse the Eve; she proved unable to finish her sewing! (gossip & laziness)
:smartarse:
Click to expand...

You must confuse her with Penelope, mate.  :smartarse:
Serratia said:
I'm deeply sorry, but it's not our fault that men are so susceptible to .... ehrmm... love. :P
Click to expand...

And this is how it all started...

x-homme-des-cavernes.jpg

:D :halo:
 
JackKnife said:
Finally it seems that most of the problems happening in the world are caused by women don't you think guys? :D
Click to expand...
Centred around, rather than caused by - I think. ;) It's the male inability to succumb to the female charm with some sort of dignity.
 
Serratia said:
I'm deeply sorry, but it's not our fault that men are so susceptible to .... ehrmm... love. :P
Click to expand...

It's the devilish tactic you gals have of batting your eyelashes and showing us your brea......



...bread making skills

I'm going to talk to her tonight and ask if she'll fly here for a weekend; she's never visited Newfoundland before, so it'll be a nice trip for her. I'll offer to pay for her tickets. Sound good to everyone?
 
Maverick said:
You must confuse her with Penelope, mate.  :smartarse:
And this is how it all started... :
Click to expand...
:blush:
Argh....you're right (again).  :blush:
By the way, Serratia, Cavemav is a wonderful nickname! GREAT! :yey:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top