Alternate Lyrics!

Belshazzar

Belshazzar

Yer Mum Can't Come
Flash of the Pooh

As a young bear chasing honey
With your wooden spoon so mighty
Tigger's bouncing, piglet's funny and
The Backsun is a beast
Times change very quickly
Winter's coming early
Owl's house lies in ruins
Eyeore's tail's at your feet

You'll fly as you did with balloons in the sky
Hit a tree, every branch on the way down
You live for the taste for the feel of the meal
One bear, and his honey

The sound of buzzing heaven
The sweetest hives at last
As you bump and bounce, ignoring
Christopher Robin's calls
He taught you all he ever knew
You feared not getting fat
But now you're stuck, not in, not out
Until you're thin again

You'll fly as you did with balloons in the sky
Hit a tree, every branch on the way down
You live for the taste for the feel of the meal
One bear, and his honey

You'll fly as you did with balloons in the sky
Caught up in a hole in the ground
You live for the taste for the feel of the meal
One bear, fat and round

You'll fly as you did with balloons in the sky
Caught up in a hole in the ground
You live for the taste for the feel of the meal
One bear, fat and round

© Belshazzar 2025​
 
THE POOPER....


You'll take a crap and I'll take one too
If you drink hot-sauce it will run through you
So if you are at the start of a poop attack
You'd better run to the washroom there's no turning back

My butt-hole smells as the diarrhea begins
But in this washroom no one wins
The smell of hot-sauce and garlic breath
As turds plunge into a toilet death

Owwwww..wwww..wwww.wwww.www

OWWWW..WWW..WWWW.WWWW.WWW

My grandma sweats with fear she has the runs
The mighty farting sounding from her ancient buns
And as she races to the washroom down the hall
The screams of pain as 17-pound turds fall

We hurdle turds that lay on the ground
And as her butthole fires another round
Turds land so near, yet she stands far away
She might not live to poop another day

Owwwww..wwww..wwww.wwww.www

OWWWW..WWW..WWWW.WWWW.WWW

I get so close near enough to shit
For a few hours on a toilet I will sit
I pull out the cork and I feel the blow
A burst of turds showers my toilet below

And as sit there praying at the sky
The toilet is smoking and I’m still crying
And as I sit there pledging to never eat corn
With some tears, and yet another turd is born

Owwwww..wwww..wwww.wwww.www

OWWWW..WWW..WWWW.WWWW.WWW
 
The Knicker Van
(promo version)

Van of pants is moving and it makes its way to you
Your wife's not home, it's coming, what are you gonna do?
Your tongue has frozen as you see it drive this way
A man at the gates of your lawn, calling you his way

Your wife is online shopping every single day
Thongs and bikini briefs all over the place
Say goodbye to sanity and say hello to mess
You hope neighbours aren't watching as he draws his breath

Your pants have come
(Keep your voice down)
Your pants have come
Your pants have come
(Please now keep schtum)
Your pants have come
(Don't talk, just run)

The Knicker Man wants your scribble, you ain't gonna sign for that
He can go back to his van, you're sick of lacy tat
She doesn't need another pair, cos everyone's the same
You want to pile them in the garden, set them all aflame

Your wife is online shopping every single day
Thongs and bikini briefs all over the place
Brothers and their fathers all join hands and make a chain
Promise to stop the Knicker Van from driving up again

Your pants have come
(Keep your voice down)
Your pants have come
Your pants have come
(Please now keep schtum)
Your pants have come
(Don't talk, just run)

Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no
They're all aglow

Oh oh, oh no
Oh oh, oh no
Just tell her no
Now you've burned them all

You've burned them all...

© Belshazzar 2025​
 
MindRuler said:
20 years ago on the official Maiden Bulletin Board it was. It had classics as Tapetraders (Invaders), Afraid To Food Rangers, No More Flies,...
Click to expand...
I remember The Wicker Van. "All nice and snug and warm inside, because it's made of straw". That was amazing, and influenced my own Van send up above. Shame they were all lost!
 
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