What's The Strangest....

Similarly, there are few genuine Death Metal bands because most have living human beings playing the instruments. One example of a geniune Death Metal band might be Pantera, since Dimebag died but remains their last known guitarist.

Furthermore, consider that Iron Maiden sells more merchandise than most other bands. I know this has been documented somewhere, but I can't recall where. Anyway, manufacturing and selling all that Eddie merch is a small industry, so Iron Maiden is obviously Industrial Metal.

Also note the false label attached to all hard rock bands, which are actually composed of soft human members. The only real hard rock group out there is Mount Rushmore, and they have yet to release an album.

In fact, I question the honesty of anyone who calls themself a pop musician without their head exploding, or a country musician without first declaring their residence to be a microstate.
 
Yes, of course. Now you've got the idea.

Furthermore, any bands calling themselves "Technical Death Metal" are lying unless the members are both non-living and have earned engineering degrees.

And "Progressive Rock" and "Progressive Metal" bands ought to have progressive left-wing politics.

"Heavy Metal" bands may be permitted to use that description if their instruments contain heavy metals. Most instruments do: string, drum rims, etc. But if they're using lighter metals like sodium, that's false advertising.

"Math rock" bands better be able to perform calculus onstage or I'm not buying it. Play a song, find a derivative. Play another song, integrate an equation.

Speaking of which - if you know your calculus, you know that derivation and integration are basically reverse operations. (Like add and subtract reverse each other, for those who don't know calculus.) Therefore, I have always thought that 'derivation' isn't a good term. It should be 'disintegration'. That would make math classes so much cooler. "For your quiz today - disintegrate this equation!"
 
Although Steve Harris plays drums for GWAR live.

He has to keep his drumming skills in shape, in case he ever has to play drums on a Maiden album again.
 
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