I gots a conspiracy theory!!

SinisterMinisterX said:
Yes, that epidemic has brought production of my tomato-flavored cola to a standstill.
I've been forced to divert my energies to plan B: carrot cola.
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Well, that has the advantage of tempting your taste buds with sizzle, while making your eyesight grow stronger!  Maybe you can get Buggs Bunny to be on your label:

Buggs: "Whatcha drinkin, Doc?"
Elmer Fudd: "Its SMX's Cawwot Cola, yum."
Daffy Duck: "You can only drink that in rabbit season!"
 
Why not have carrot soda? There's celery soda.... which begs the question; which is better, carrots or celery?
 
Thats a toughy-- I like celery with my hotwings.  And don't you use celery in a Bloody Mary?  Carrots have the distinction of being linked to Carrot Top, and I really don't like him, but Celery Cola just doesn't have that ring to it.  Tho, you could have a clear drink and call it 'Celery Soda'-- it'd be a whole production line.  Add in some 'Pickle Pop' and you'd have the trifecta!
 
Yes, that epidemic has brought production of my tomato-flavored cola to a standstill.
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ATTACK.... of the KILLER TOMATOES!!!!!

but Celery Cola just doesn't have that ring to it.
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No, there really is a celery soda that is on the market; it's called Cel-Ray (sp?) and tastes like total crap. If I'd try that, I would certainly try Car-Rot.
 
You are a brave man!  However, something like that maybe what our health care system is coming to. Imagine this conspiracy:  The government will start to back the production of healthy junk food (oxymoron, huh?), and if you start drinking coke or eating cheetos, you have to pay a higher deductible, but if you drink Car-Rot (soda) and eat hummis, you get a lower deductible.  They will start putting a bar-code on your tongue, so they can scan it at grocery stores, convienence stores and restuarants. 
 
You got it!  The government is gonna put the mark on us!  Its gonna be the sign of the apocalypse!!
 
Well, yes, if they put the barcode on our lip instead of tongue.  Tho, those that use chewing tobacco mite ruin the barcode-- but maybe they will take away all chewing tobacco...that'd kill your state.
 
Aha, now Deano's on to something. Forget carrot soda for the moment. If I want to become rich by inventing a new consumable, then I need to combine two of America's great addictions, and develop: cheeseburger-flavored cigarettes!
 
Marlboro Extra Mustards for me.... in a box.

For a second I thought you were going for tobacco flavored beer.......  :bigsmile:
 
I think the true conspiracy here is with you Mmm...Donuts. I'm thinking you don't even like donuts at all. Come on man! Come clean! You've been living this lie for far too long........  :D
 
I finished half a box of krispy kreme dozens in a day. :)
But I admit that I don't eat donuts everyday, but I CHERISH every donut I eat :p
 
I used to be a donut cook as part of my duties as a baker. Got up at 2am every morning, 7 days a week, for over a year to make dozens of donuts. Heated the oil, fried and iced the little fuckers. Dear H, what a pain in the ass that job was. Hot as hell standing in front of that fryer, and I couldn't wear shorts because of the risk of hot oil splashing around. I wasn't about to get my legs burned for the sake of some motherfucking donuts.

Anyway, I've rarely eaten donuts since then. And that was back in 1995, so it would be about 13 years now. I'm not saying I never eat them, but it's rare ... I think it's been over 2 years since I last ate a donut.

But it's not because I dislike them entirely. It's because, once you've had them hot and fresh, right out of the fryer, anything else seems stale in comparison. I don't care if it was cooked just 5 minutes ago - that's old. And I ain't eating no stale cocksucking donut. It's gotta be so fresh that the oil still burns your fingers when you pick it up.

Why do they call them "fingers"? I've never seen them fing ... oh wait, there they go.
 
There's always the microwave  :p Oily donuts do taste good, but there's...the oil and I also love em' cold.  :ok:

SMX, it's been 13 years and there's no sign of donut withdrawal? Oh the humanity!
 
I used to be a donut cook as part of my duties as a baker. Got up at 2am every morning, 7 days a week, for over a year to make dozens of donuts.
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Haha, I do that from time to time too. When we go to the rifle range, we usually get out there at around 3:30 AM and that's always the motto: "Time to make the donuts." In this instance, however, it is referring to shooting out the center of the round shape targets to get that donut appearance. (If you're doing it right anyway).  :D
 
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