Saving the Whales

YAY!!! A schism! Heretics, crusades, inquisitions, that's what religion is all about baby!  :yey:
 
Is this a schism?
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Yes, it is. First Church Of Adrian Smith believes in H that lived from 1980 AD to 1988 AD, and the Second Church believes he lived from 2001 and still lives on among us.
 
I'm pretty sure Holy Scripture suggests that Adrian Smith is like a mobïus strip - no beginning, no end, and always continuing forward for all eternity.
 
Perun said:
YAY!!! A schism! Heretics, crusades, inquisitions, that's what religion is all about baby!  :yey:
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I see our Holy Inquisitor is hungry for some work. As High Priest, it's high time I issue some decrees.


OFFICIAL JUDGEMENTS FROM THE CHURCH OF ADRIAN SMITH:


1. Holy Inquisitor Perun is instructed to conduct an investigation of Zare, who is accused of unlawful polytheism...

Zare said:
Yes, it is. First Church Of Adrian Smith believes in H that lived from 1980 AD to 1988 AD, and the Second Church believes he lived from 2001 and still lives on among us.
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The above suggests that there are two versions of Lord H, not one. This heresy must be punished.


2. OPEN POSITIONS IN THE CHURCH OF ADRIAN SMITH PRIESTHOOD

Two of our former priests have left the forum (and thus the Church). The positions of Archbishop and Mother Superior are open. All forum members will be considered by the current Priesthood and those deemed worthy will be initiated into mandatory service.

If you would like to join the leadership of the Church, bribes are welcome and encouraged. Note that only females will be considered for the position of Mother Superior.


The High Priest has spoken. May the Mullet be with you.
 
I'd like to apply for the Archbishop position. Regarding bribes, Perun already received his in Paris ;)

Plus I met H, which I don't think any of the other church members have.

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Hunlord said:
I'd like to apply for the Archbishop position.
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You cannot choose which position you are applying for. The leaders shall consider you, and inform you which position you shall assume.
LooseCannon said:
Wait, what are the current position holders again?
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High Priest SinisterMinisterX
Cardinal LooseCannon
Holy Inquisitor Perun
Monsignor Shadow
 
SinisterMinisterX said:
You cannot choose which position you are applying for. The leaders shall consider you, and inform you which position you shall assume.
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Many apologies, I would like to apply for a position in the Church.
 
Ah, I had forgotten the Monsignor.  It has been a long time since he emerged from his years of silence and seclusion with one of his learn-ed opinions on Adrian Smith.
 
Hunlord said:
Many apologies, I would like to apply for a position in the Church.
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You cannot apply for a position in the Church. All forum members will be considered. In a sense, you have already applied, and so has everyone else.

Everyone except proven heretic Onhell. He remains excommunicated.
LooseCannon said:
Ah, I had forgotten the Monsignor.  It has been a long time since he emerged from his years of silence and seclusion with one of his learn-ed opinions on Adrian Smith.
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None can tell when the Monsignor shall conclude his sacred meditation. We anticipate that the truths he shall eventually reveal are worth any wait.
 
I thought that with religion, all is truth, while everything is falsehood.  The only reality is what we perceive, yet what we perceive is not to be trusted. 

So, in effect, there is no truth, but H, and he is the only truth. --I suppose that's only the case if he wants it to be.

So, no Pope-ish figure to reveal the word of the lord to those that aren't able to hear it?

(I know, I know:  "don't mess with The Minister, punk") ;)
 
SinisterMinisterX said:
None can tell when the Monsignor shall conclude his sacred meditation. We anticipate that the truths he shall eventually reveal are worth any wait.
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I'm sorry, I was at the coffee machine. Did I miss anything?
 
SinisterMinisterX said:
Everyone except proven heretic Onhell. He remains excommunicated.
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So what is the official position of the Church of Adrian Smith on the church of Dave Murray and its evil leader Yax?
 
At the moment we remain open to reconciliation with Yax, but he has flirted with excommunication as well.
 
Consideration of candidates has begun. While no decisions have been made, I can say that the top 3 candidates for Mother Superior may be[sup]1[/sup]:
1. Natalie
2. syl
3. Prance

There are more male candidates, of course. Perhaps[sup]2[/sup] the top three are:
1. Albie
2. Hunlord
3. ilovemaiden

[sup]1[/sup] Or maybe not.
[sup]2[/sup] Yet, perhaps not.
 
LooseCannon said:
At the moment we remain open to reconciliation with Yax, but he has flirted with excommunication as well.
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For a year, I have laid low. But I cannot silence my tongue anymore! Oh Murray. give me strength to overcome the alarming threat the heathens present to thy creation. Dave Murray is the God amongst Gods, and Adrian Smith is his prophet. There. I said it.

Cometh thy heathens. I shallt ease your pain. I shallt forgive thy sins. For Murray is good, you will all be forgiven.
 
SinisterMinisterX said:
Everyone except proven heretic Onhell. He remains excommunicated.
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That's fine, You all worry about petty squabbles amongst H-ists and Murrayians. Both of you fail to see that your 'gods' would be nothing without the Mighty Bassist! For it is from Him that all of Maiden comes from!
 
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