Next Week's Headlines

I

IronDuke

Ancient Mariner
Most of us on these forums are smart people. Let's use our collective brains to try to predict the future. Post what you think are plausible headlines for major newspapers next week. What do you think will be the "big story" in the world seven days from now? Will there be an assassination? Will one country start a war? Will one of the candidates in the US election give up? Will Germany need more Lebensraum? :innocent:
If your prediction isn't a world-wide event, identify the country or region, please.
If we can keep this topic going, move on an extra day; ie tomorrow we'll predict the news for 25 January, on Saturday we'll do 26 January, etc.

On 24 January 2008, I predict that the big news stories will be:

World - Kenya Explodes Into Civil War Amid Election Chaos
          OPEC Increases Production by X% From US Pressure

USA - Guiliani Pulls Out of GOP Race, Throws Support Behind Huckabee

Canada - Mission in Afghanistan Reconsidered Due to US Cirticism
 
World- Hugo Chavez throws his considerable weight around in South America Pissing off Colombia and the U.S along with grunts of disaproval from the rest of Latin America

U.S Obama pulls ahead once again

Sports (Canada :p)- Crosby gains lead of scoring race with 66 points
 
Saudi Arabia - Terrorists sabotage oil pipeline.
Iran/Egypt/Syria/Austria - Mass demonstration with burning Austrian flags over Muhammad comments from Austrian regional politician.
France - A government spokesperson confirms that Carla Bruni, the new wife of president Sarkozy, is pregnant. Bruni claims that she didn't know, although she "talks to herself every day".
Germany - Hessian minister president Koch demands concentration camps for militant youths with migrant background. Upon national and international media protests, Koch specifies that he meant "workshop camps for improvement of mental concentration for the better of their education."
Germany - Polar bear baby "Flocke" from the Nuremberg zoo gets a new name chosen by admirers. Mass demonstrations of Knut supporters inflict worst destruction to Berlin since 1945.
 
This winter:

Saudi Arabia/Iran/Egypt/Syria/Pakistan/Indonesia/endless list of Muslim countries but also from countries in the West - Mass demonstration/madness/rage/fatwahs/bans on Dutch products/violence/hate as soon as Wilders' film about the Koran is thrown on YouTube.
 
Obama takes the lead in U.S. Putin remains in charge of Russia as the prime minster with major influence in presidential decisions. Russia completes couple of major arms and space projects, and continues the trend of rapid technolgical development. Shitty situation in Kosovo - upon the independence, we can expect skirmishes and clashes all over the place, not to mention that Serbs could withdraw their intentions of EU and NATO, and use themselves as a perfect position for Russian missile systems, a Kremlin answer to the U.S. missile shield project of Eastern Europe.

Afghanistan will get worse every day, bickering about Iraq will continue. MiG-35 will win the Indian MMRCA tender, expecting more space launches from China, Brasil, and possibly some smaller academic sattelites from Egypt.

Apart from that, Croatia is going to win Euro2008  :D
Edit : i'm an idiot, i refered to whole new 2008 predictions  :)
 
US (Sports): While attending a pre-Super Bowl party, Terrell Owens caught in secret bathroom romp with Giants quarterback Eli Manning, distraught Cowboys quarterback, Romo, unavailable for comment.
 
This whenever: bin laden found in hole.
Soon enough: Another coup d'etat.
Sports: A new tennis rising star is formed, hell, nadal and federrer went down in semis.
 
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