I Learned Everthing I Ever Needed To Know From Heavy Metal

My mom and dad have one of those "Everything I ever needed to know I learned from Star Trek" posters in their house (yeah, I know.) and I was thinking that its possible to learn everything I ever needed to know from Heavy Metal.  Since this isn't so serious, it's here in the Madness forum.....  post something you learned, lyrics, song titles, album titles, something you heard in an interview, or something just relating.  Honestly, it doesn't need to be 'metal' exactly-- if it's in you like it and its music, load it up


I learned 'what not to do if a bird shits on you'.

I learned that I can't drive 55.

I know that Lemmy is the man.

I learned that a railway mortar is the meanest f'cking thing in the universe.

I learned that Thor is the son of Oden and Blethy.

And perhaps most importantly, I learned not to talk to strangers because they're only there to do me harm, not to go to heaven because it's really only hell, not to smell the flowers because they're an evil drug that will make me lose my mind, not to write in starlight because the words may come out real and not to dream of women 'cause they'll only bring me down.


BTW Wasted, when I was 9, I desperately wanted that poster.

I learned that I can create in my own image; if God can, then why can't I?

I learned that I don't want to be a powerslave, that I don't want to die, I'm a god, why can't I live on?

I learned that if I ride the tiger, you can see his stripes but you you know he's clean.

And I learned that I don't see what you mean.

I also learned that I'm safe in the eye of the tornado.

I learned that its fat bottom girls that make the world go round.

....that $25 a fuck and john's a happy man; and that same whore can become a nun as long as she is willing to be a whore for that priest. 

....that if I was murdered, I can come back in a second life with the help of a hypnotherapist.

@Per, that poster is pretty awesome-- "phasers should always be set to stun".  Ok, I always thot I was pretty Treker, but ma and pa have a spare bedroom in their house called the 'Star Trek room', where that poster is hung in a glass frame, the ceiling has star systems on it, there are models of the different versions of the Enterprise, and figures of Trek characters sitting around.  funny.

Only if the previous incarnation of the hypnotherapist is the killer of your previous incarnation.


I learned how to rock and roll all night and party every day, if you're born to run with the devil down in Georgia.

I learned the correct spelling of led, leppard, ryche, beatle, xs and xtc.

I learned that I'm in the jungle and I'm gonna die.

I learned that you hafta go through Hell before you get to Heaven.

I learned that metal health will drive me mad.