Adrian Smith Statements

If Adrian Smith were to spank you, a new universe would be created; our universe was created when Adrian Smith spanked Richie Sambora.

Adrian Smith is the "H" in Jesus H Christ.
 
Some noob once tried to piss off Adrian Smith. His body was never found.

Quick Adrian Smith test:

1. One day you accidentally touch Adrian Smith’s guitar. Adrian is near and you know He’ll find it out in one hour or so. What would you do?
a) Fell on your knees and beg for mercy.
b) Ran away and hide.
c) Broke His guitar, laugh Him to face and make fun about Him.

2. One day you doubt about Adrian Smith’s greatness. You know that He already knows your sin. What would you do?
a) Fell on your knees and beg for mercy.
b) Ran away and hide.
c) Doubt again. Then laugh at Him. Make fun about His greatness.

How would you end up?

For 1 and 2:

a) He will kill you. Quickly.
b) He will find you and then kill you. Slowly.
c) He will torture you, kill you, then torture again. You will feel eternal pain.
 
Adrian Smith thinks it's been a long time since PH wrote a few self-evident truths about him.
Adrian Smith's saliva contains 11,000 different types of bacteria - each one equally capable of playing the opening lick to Wasted Years
Adrian Smith can tie his shoes... with his feet.
Adrian Smith is the business in the front AND the party in the back.
Adrian Smith found the Higgs Boson... and used it to prop open his garage door.
Adrian Smith will tase you, bro.
Adrian Smith is on fire tonight. And every other night.
Adrian Smith is the wind beneath your wings and the shadow in the corner of your eye.
Adrian Smith's occupation, according to census data, has always been: "Omnipotence".
Adrian Smith smells like teen spirit, and the kerosene he drank for breakfast.
Adrian Smith is single-handedly responsible for the post-WWII baby boom.
 
You thought wrong.

And H is the "Chuck Norris of..." NOTHING. We were doing these about a year before I ever saw the first "Chuck Norris Facts".

Sadly, the Infamous Scriptures of the Church of Adrian Smith are now offline. I should put them back up.

But until then: IT'S TIME TO EDUCATE THE NOOBS.
Behold, the classics...

Adrian Smith is larger than you. (SMX)
Adrian Smith can chew through cars with his shiny metal teeth. (SMX)
Adrian Smith eats lesser guitarists for breakfast, with toast and orange juice. (SMX)
Adrian Smith created the sun so it can shine on him when he plays guitar. (Perun)
Adrian Smith created air accidentally, water while bored, and life while sleeping. (LC)
Adrian Smith created Greenland so he could have an endless reserve of ice cubes for his drinks. (Perun)
Adrian Smith is judge, jury, and executioner, and you will throw yourself at the mercy of this court! (LC)
Adrian Smith keeps the Beast of Revelation in a small hut in his front yard. (Perun)
I believe Adrian Smith has my stapler. (SMX)
Adrian Smith was the voice of cartoon legend Woody Woodpecker. And that's his real laugh, which he still uses to this day. (SMX)
Adrian Smith will never die. The world will die around him. (Perun)
Adrian Smith is overqualified. (SMX)
Adrian Smith poured the syrup into maples. (Shadow)
Adrian Smith gave fire to Mankind, then blamed Prometheus. He gave them knowledge, then blamed Lucifer. He gave them stupidity, then blamed the IMBB. (Mav)
 
How goes that one with Adrian inventing people and air guitar and all that? It is great, but I can't find it on forum search...
 
In the studio, Adrian Smith really plays all of the instruments, but during live shows, he creates an illusion on our eyes to make us think that there are other players.
 
Adrian Smith can compose a solo even he couldn't play. Then, in celebration, he will play it without missing a single note.
 
A couple of millions of years ago, Adrian smith grew tired of his name, so he tried to switch it to God.
That didn't go too well.
 
Mega said:
A couple of millions of years ago, Adrian smith grew tired of his name, so he tried to switch it to God.
That didn't go too well.
Click to expand...

But mind you - this was not H's fault. Mankind fucked up H's work.
 
Oh, of course, I thought it was obvious.


Adrian smith is the only man ever to get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris and live.
He is also the only man to ever kick Chuck's ass back.
 
OK, as long as he does it with an awesome solo on the concert in Bergen this summer  B) They sHould wipe tHe dust off one of His masterpieces from SomewHere in Time.
 
Adrian Smith knows all the secret chords.
Adrian Smith taught God to play guitar.
Adrian Smith is the only guitarist on the planet who has never misplaced a plectrum.
Adrian Smith has to wear a bandana on stage to cover the luminescence his brain emits whilst playing solos. Yes, it shines through his skull.
Steve Harris fears Adrian Smith.
Adrian Smith can run faster than a cheetah.
Adrian Smith has more midichlorians than Anakin and Luke Skywalker put together.
Adrian Smith can play so fast, solos just seem like one continuous note, he just chooses not to.
 
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