As you may have nboticed, I've not been posting much in the last 6 weeks. I'm sure you were all beside yourselves with worry [!--emo&--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/wink.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'wink.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
Well, here's why I was away:
It all started when I was approached by the CIA to do some undercover work in Poland. My job was to overthrow the Polish government by destroying the spring sausage harvest. I was then to establish a puppet monarchy in the country, with Nelson Mandela as king.
I was just about to release a sausage-munching weevil into downtown Warsaw, when a militant faction of the Salvation Army captured me. I was sent to their prison camp in central Cuba when i was forced to listen to kareoke from around the globe. The Red Cross finally put an end to that torture, and I was sent to a secret research facility under the Pacific Ocean. It was run by a group of disgruntled ex-sheep farmers from New Zealand. I escaped by getting them drunk on mouthwash and swiming to Kirabati. I was then able to be elected president of that nation, and on a state visit to Ottawa, I and the rest of the nation's population defected.
Then I had to dress as a mime to safely travel through French-Canada, and I eventually ended up back home in Nova Scotia.
The first thing I did, of course, was to check in here!
Well, here's why I was away:
It all started when I was approached by the CIA to do some undercover work in Poland. My job was to overthrow the Polish government by destroying the spring sausage harvest. I was then to establish a puppet monarchy in the country, with Nelson Mandela as king.
I was just about to release a sausage-munching weevil into downtown Warsaw, when a militant faction of the Salvation Army captured me. I was sent to their prison camp in central Cuba when i was forced to listen to kareoke from around the globe. The Red Cross finally put an end to that torture, and I was sent to a secret research facility under the Pacific Ocean. It was run by a group of disgruntled ex-sheep farmers from New Zealand. I escaped by getting them drunk on mouthwash and swiming to Kirabati. I was then able to be elected president of that nation, and on a state visit to Ottawa, I and the rest of the nation's population defected.
Then I had to dress as a mime to safely travel through French-Canada, and I eventually ended up back home in Nova Scotia.
The first thing I did, of course, was to check in here!