Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread

Saapanael

A Citizen of the Republic of Geniuses
Is it normal to send a frend request on facebook to a girl you barely know ? or would it be creepy ?
I've found that when I add a girl on FB that I don't have feelings for, I don't care whether she accepts or not, I want to add her so I do. But when I have feelings for her, I start to think: "Should I add her or not? Is it the right thing to do?" So I guess you can add her but will it change anything? Are you going to text her or is it just to show yourself to her? In the end, it doesn't change much.
 

mtmccox

Ancient Mariner
Is it normal to send a frend request on facebook to a girl you barely know ? or would it be creepy ?
see
Here's what I think. If a guy likes me, it doesn't really matter when or how I ask him out, he'll be interested anyway, and it's likely things will work out. If a guy doesn't like me, asking him the fanciest possible way and the best possible moment won't make him like me, and very likely he'll say no in any case. I don't know if this helps you, but I felt much less anxiety after I realized that small "mistakes" or the perfect timing for the asking doesn't really change the outcome. I can concentrate on being myself, the guy then likes me or not, but I can't affect that by not making any "mistakes".
 

chaosapiant

Ancient Marinade
I've never noticed this thread before. So I'm going to throw out some advice. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, learn to like yourself. Like, a lot. Learn to praise yourself on your accomplishments and admonish yourself for your failures. Look to no one else for approval or praise or any sort of validation. If you like you, other people will like you. Confidence is magnetic. It's taken me far too long to realize this so hopefully some younger folks get and understand this.
 

mtmccox

Ancient Mariner
I do my own shit and according to my principles "You don't love me and consider my feelings"
I cave in and do what she wants and how she wants "You are not independent and easy to influence"
10963
 

chaosapiant

Ancient Marinade
I do my own shit and according to my principles "You don't love me and consider my feelings"
I cave in and do what she wants and how she wants "You are not independent and easy to influence"
View attachment 10963
Ask yourself if you're really considering their feelings. If you believe you are, and you know you're also doing what you feel is right, then that's on her. There's tons of folks out there who won't mix well with you or your personality, no matter what. But it doesn't mean it's you.
 

Perun

And the world, unheeding, turns
Staff member
I do my own shit and according to my principles "You don't love me and consider my feelings"
I cave in and do what she wants and how she wants "You are not independent and easy to influence"
It would be helpful to know what exactly you're talking about to interpret this (unless it's bedroom stuff, in that case keep it to yourself please), but it doesn't sound that much like a mystery to me.
Being considerate of your partner doesn't mean just doing everything she says. It's not about having it your way or her way. If you figure out how to do something, take into consideration how she would feel about it. Look at it from her perspective. Then take that into account when making your decision. It's really not that hard.

^the above is posted as advice for myself next time I am about to screw up.
 
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