Dating Advice For MaidenFans Thread


Grim Reaper
Staff member
Oh I don't know. If you enjoy giving yourself a puppy dog nose and ears, and making your eyes huge, it's great.


"Get a life, punk!"
My band has an Instagram. I log in occasionally but don't care for having a personal account. As for her, she was definitely being flirtatious and I'll keep her in mind, but won't obsess about it as long as there is a BF to deal with.


New Tool is coming!
and she is also in a relationship, ffs.
I offer my condolences too.

Instagram is pretty cool. You could probably find some female Maiden fans on there. I did. Most of them live in Europe though, so that’s out. Snapchat would be good to get when you get a girlfriend.


...quite like the Jack of Hearts...
Okay, this was necessary:

"Ni**as that take no for an answer get told no
Yeah, I been told no, but it was more like 'No! No! No!!!'"

- Dating advice from Sticky Fingaz

"If I gotta go hard on a bitch, I'ma make it look sexy"
- Dating advice from Kendrick Lamar

"A girl ask me for a ring and I put one around her whole eye"
- Dating advice from Big L

"And before I get the butt the jim must be erect"
- Dating advice from A Tribe Called Quest

"I walked up to a big butt, and ask her ass 'butt what'"
- Dating advice from Lil Wayne

"She said "I never want to make you mad
I just want to make you proud"
I said "Baby just make me cum
Then don't make no sound""

- Some more dating advice from Lil Wayne

"Most of these ni**as think they be mackin' but they be actin'
Who they attractin' with that line, 'What's your name what's your sign?'
Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind
And ask what your interests are, who you be with
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial"

- Dating advice from Biggie Smalls

"Hit you with a dick, make your kidney shift [...]
The next batter, here to shatter your bladder"

- Some more dating advice from Biggie Smalls

"Thinkin' they can play me like a field trip
That's why I slugged my honey dip
Cause that's more than I can stand and I'm the man who sets it right again
Bust they in the lip and the bitch will never bite again"

- Dating advice from Del the Funky Homosapien

"Step back, can't get spunk on the mink
I mean damn, what would Jeromey Romey Romey Rome think?"

- Dating advice from Kanye

"Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock"
- Dating advice from Lloyd

"Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity, in my voice when I talk,
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the dry wall
Next time, there will be no next time
I apologize even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back, I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'm a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire"

- Dating advice from Eminem

"You outta gas, do you got a flat?
I would hate for you to be stranded at the laundromat
I got your back, why don't you put your laundry basket in the back?
And sit up front, I'm not asking, it's a trap
You just got jacked and body snatched and it's a wrap
In broad day, no masks for this attack
I heard them say exact opposites attract
If that's fact it'll take task force to get you back
Yeah baby do that dance
It's the last dance
You'll ever get the chance to do
Girl shake that ass
You ain't never gonna break that glass
The windshield's too strong for you"

- Some more dating advice from Eminem


...quite like the Jack of Hearts...
Guys, keep it in good taste please.


Face down ass up - that’s the way we like to fuck“
- Dating advice from 2 Live Crew


The Flash

Dennis Wilcock did 9/11
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel"

- Dating advice from The Bloodhound Gang