An example of parenting. Too harsh? Or appropriate?

Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan

Ancient Mariner
In the past, we've discussed a similar parenting situation where a mother caught her child drinking in his car and sold the car as a form of punishment.  She also wrote in the ad why the car is being sold to embarrass the boy and teach him a lesson.

The following story is short, but interesting in the similar vein.  Do you feel the mother went too far in calling the police?  I suppose the answer to that would be how often this kid misbehaves.  We have no indication of whether she tried other strategies.  However, in general, I'd say she over-reacted.  I'd give him chores around the house until he pays it off.  If he refuses, I'd remove all privileges such as game systems, computer, etc. from the kid until he co-operates.


By The Canadian Press

KINGSTON, Ont. - A 13-year-old boy in Kingston, Ont., who punched and broke his family's TV set got more than just a tongue-lashing from his mom - he was also slapped with a criminal charge.

Police say the teen began bickering with his mother Monday morning when she woke him and told him to get ready for school.

In anger, the boy walked out to the living room and punched the screen of the 37-inch LCD TV, damaging it beyond repair.

The television was valued at $1,000.

The teen's mother called police, who arrested the boy and charged him with mischief under $5,000.
Here is a similar article.  This one is even more wacky, I think.  Not because this one is form US and the former is from Canada.  :innocent:

By The Associated Press

ROCK HILL, S.C. - Authorities say seven people attending high school graduations in Rock Hill, South Carolina, are facing charges after police say they cheered while students' names were being called.

Authorities say six people at Fort Mill High School's graduation were charged Saturday and a seventh at the graduation for York Comprehensive High School was charged Friday with disorderly conduct.

Police say those arrested yelled after students' names were called while diplomas were handed out.

A police spokesman says school officials request police patrols to prevent graduation disruptions that include standing, hollering and clapping.

He says those attending the commencements are told their behaviour can be prosecuted.

Rock Hill is about 110 kilometres north of Columbia, South Carolina.
 
In the first case, you're right - we don't know enough background. Was the TV-smashing kid routinely violent? Had he been warned that the police might be called? Someone acting with that much violence might be working towards being violent to people. You can't judge until you know the whole story.

On the second, I'm tempted to side with the cheering students. Graduations are supposed to be celebrations, and trying to hold back that atmosphere is a bad move on the school's part. But I will say that again, more details would be helpful. Why were only 7 people cheering? What exactly were they yelling? Maybe there's more to this, but it sounds like the school and cops were being dicks.
 
In the first case I think either way the mom did not over-react. What if the kid was usually non-violent and this "snapping" scared the mom to the point of calling the authorities? If he was periodically violent... well same thing, why not call the cops?

In the second I agree with SMX. No cheering/clapping at graduation? That's moronic...
 
First case: Yeah, I can see it.  If the kid is smashing tvs, he's only a step away from taking a swing at mom.  Call the fuzz.

Second case: This story doesn't mention that the average size of a high school graduation class in South Carolina is 7 students.
 
First case seems to me like the mother is passing her responsibility to the police. But then, I don't know enough about the background to judge fairly.

Second case, if students are not allowed to celebrate their graduation, the school should not be allowed to teach.
 
Exactly Per, the first case does seem to be the mother passing the buck, apparently, the kid has never been belted before.

Second case: You beat me to the punch LC. When the entire graduating class is out of control, it can disrupt a ceremony.
 
Deano said:
apparently, the kid has never been belted before.
Click to expand...

And should never be! I'm sorry, but I was spanked as a child and I can see the logic behind it, still doesn't make it right, hitting doesn't foster discipline, it only fosters that it is ok to hit, among other things I don't want to get into so as not to not side track the thread even further...
[/out of character seriousness]
 
To smash an object does not automatically mean a step away from a swing at mom. My interpretation is that he directed his anger at the TV-set, instead of wanting to hit his mother.

That he threatened to beat up his mother was not mentioned in the article. If it was, then it wouldn't be news. So I assume non of this happened.

So the dude was only arrested for smashing a TV-set. That's what's rediculous about it. That's why The Kan posted it, I assume.

So I agree with Per.

"Police, I can't stand the fact that my boy smashed the TV, please arrest him and teach him a lesson, I can't do it myself."
 
Onhell said:
And should never be! I'm sorry, but I was spanked as a child and I can see the logic behind it, still doesn't make it right, hitting doesn't foster discipline, it only fosters that it is ok to hit, among other things I don't want to get into so as not to not side track the thread even further...
[/out of character seriousness]
Click to expand...

My mother once slapped me when I was a little kid and was about to run on a big, busy street. She is still ashamed of herself because of that, but I'm still alive.
 
And should never be! I'm sorry, but I was spanked as a child and I can see the logic behind it, still doesn't make it right, hitting doesn't foster discipline, it only fosters that it is ok to hit, among other things I don't want to get into so as not to not side track the thread even further...
Click to expand...

You are right to a certain extent Onhell, I too, was spanked as a child and don't do it nearly as much as my parents did, but I guarantee that by age 13, I never would have dreamed of punching a TV set. Really my only other response to this is [/not serious at all]: would you like to take my 6 kids for a month?
 
LOL, how 'bout not having any or two max? :p, but that is the most important lesson here. discipline (not necessarily spanking) is a MUST at an early age, because by the time the little monsters are teens it is too late and the cops have to be called. I won't fall into the trap of saying "I'll never spank my kids," because even though I hope I never will, fuck it, I am human and you need to have 6 to drive you insane.

Though as a comedian once said, "I don't know why parents hit their kids when psychological trauma last longer." or something around those lines :D
 
I try not to do it much, but there are certain times, let's say .... one week after buying a brand new minivan and the 8 year old boy rams a pen into the inside side paneling of the back seat area and commences to peel away the plastic and the foam inside. Yes.... that was ONE of those moments.
 
004329_24.jpg


"You shouldn't slap me, Johnny. My mother slapped me once. ONCE."
 
I can only recall one or two occasions when my parents hit me.  Now, I can recall an occasion where my dad grabbed me and forced me to calm down.  But I was only ever really swatted once or twice.  Never enough to really hurt me.

My mom did break my nose when I was 14, though.  But not for discipline - because I was too close and she swung at something else.  Ow.
 
I would never call the police on an underage child unless someone's life was in danger.  It's a terrible idea; lord knows what will happen to him once the police become involved.  I recently read an article about parents whose grown child had gotten into trouble and was arrested, and they refused to bail him out, letting him spend the weekend in jail to "teach him a lesson."  He was badly beaten in jail and now has permanent brain damage.  Needless to say, the parents, well-meaning as they were, regret their decision.  This is not exactly the same thing, but it informs my view on the subject.  The graduation thing seems silly, too, unless there was a concern about gang violence or something. 

As for the side discussion on corporal punishment, I was spanked a fair amount as a child, usually deservingly and usually with a belt.  I have no apparent psychological scars, and I view my childhood as happy.  So, I have no inherent moral problem with spankings.  However, they should be used very sparingly.  In my view, spankings are only appropriate for discouraging behavior that would be harmful to the child or his/her siblings.  For example, the only time I have really spanked my son was after telling him approximately ten times to stay away from the edge of a swimming pool (he can't swim).  I gave him a very mild spanking, and he cried a little, but then he stayed away from the pool after that.  I think it was worth it, because I had (and still have) a fear of him not fully appreciating the danger of drowning. 
 
Well, we could have a discussion about the failures of the justice system, but that'll have to wait for a different thread.  I am of the opinion that corporal punishment will have a different affect on each child depending on the child's psyche.  So it's best to be careful with it.  I don't feel it's needed to spank a child for every little thing...but if needed.  Children have low retention rates for a lot of things, and react more to sensations than instruction - until they're 3 or 4 or so.  A hot stove, a child will learn fast not to touch.  But like cornfedhick said...some mistakes they only get to make once.  So if needed, it's best to add the punishment in before something terrible happens.
 
I had to call CPS (Child Protective Services) last night and in my conversation with the case worker i found out CPS only discourages corporal punishment, but that it is not illegal. You can legally hit your kids as long as you don't leave any welts, bruises, hand prints, broken bones, dead body, etc. She said that's what makes spanking such a grey area, because you can spank your kid and the bum can take the lashing, more so than say... its arm.

I agree with LC, you never know how a kid will react, I have no "scars" from the spanking, like I said, I can see its logic, but verbal chastasing did a number on me. My bro was the opposite.
 
I have noticed that in general, one good spanking per kid is pretty much good enough. After that, a look conveying evil intentions usually does the trick.
 
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