Salem's Lot (1979) Wow. Shit is too good a word for this. I wasn't expecting much, but sitting through the whole three hours was pure torture. Where should I start? First of all, if you liked pretty much any character in the novel, forget it now. Ben became this sleazy, burnt-out, middle-aged weirdo, Matt is much more senile, "Weasel" Ed became a regular hobo, Straker became this doddering, weak and pathetic figure (more pitiful than unnerving), Sue looks more like someone's aunt than a girl freshly out of school (yet she still lives with her parents), Callahan appears for 2 minutes at most, Jimmy is completely gone (they merged his character with Sue's Dad) and Barlow is this Orlok-like insane ghoul who is mute. And yeah, pretty much everyone is at least 5-15 older than in the book. Weird, huh? But they still say the same lines in the same situations (well, apart from Barlow, obviously). They changed some characters around, sometimes only their names (Tibbit) for pretty much no reason at all. The pacing is downright horrid - the series keep the exposition from the book (more or less) and then finish everything up in, like, ten minutes. There are about two scenes with Barlow, maybe three minutes altogether. The first half of the book is adapted pretty much scene for scene, yet the second half is gone in a blink. Makes absolutely no sense (well, budget-wise it does, but that's no excuse). Apart from maybe the kids behind the windows, no scene is even chilling, let alone scary. When it tries to be, it's pretty much laughable (the camera zooms in on a plastic face with the cheesiest sound effects ever invented). Most of the time you just watch these pathetic variations on the characters you once knew as they miserably recite the lines from the book, without passion or care. When it isn't boring, it looks like a parody, and an unfunny one at that. Avoid at all costs. I'm not kidding. I actually happen to know for a fact there will be worse King adaptations in the future, but this one's really bad. I'd rather repeat any of the Carrie films thrice than this shite once. That's three hours of my life I'll never get back.