The Newbie Law: How To Survive

Pineapple Hunter

Pineapple Hunter

Trooper
Welcome to the Ultimate Guide To Newbie Law

How To Survive

This is what all the mods, monkey and fellow members keep uttering out.
Maybe people will understand.

First of all, and this is an OMG huge point.

[span style=\'font-size:14pt;line-height:100%\'][span style=\'color:red\']SPELLING[/span][/span]

I come on these boards on average once a day, and it doesnt help my life to see posts like this:

[!--QuoteBegin-Two Minutes To Midnight (Ain't It Nice To See Your Name Spelt Right?+--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(Two Minutes To Midnight (Ain't It Nice To See Your Name Spelt Right?)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]powerslve. its such a brillent album and the first 4 tracks are amazing

rime of the acianet marainr is cool to. its long but it doest get boring [/quote]

If you can spell properly, you are seen as an intelligent individual.
How people think this person from Orpington in Kent(This is how it's spelt on your roadmap!) has a mental age above -17.

Approximately 0.

Spell and you can't go wrong.

Secondly:

[span style=\'color:purple\'][span style=\'font-size:14pt;line-height:100%\']DO NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PISS OFF MAVERICK!!![/span][/span]

It's not funny, it's not clever. It makes you look like a twat.
Cos Maverick is sooooo unbelivably clever, he hasnt made a comeback in over 0.354 seconds to an insult from a newbie.

So really, if you wanna piss him off. Find a nice coffin. With air conditioning. [!--emo&:)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/smile.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'smile.gif\' /][!--endemo--]

Thirdly:

[span style=\'font-size:14pt;line-height:100%\'][span style=\'color:green\']Don't make a thread indicating your arrival on the boards[/span][/span]

Really, ya look like an idiot.

Fourth:

The nicest people on this board are:

Perun,
Charlotte,
IronDuke,
LooseCannon,
Dogigniter,
The_7th_Son
(List will be updating, pending death threats)

Stay with them, not against them. Cos everyone likes them and if you're against them. Youre against everyone.

Fifth:

Don't break or try and bend the rules.

Its just stupid.

Sixth:

If you have an argument with another member: PM them about it. Don't post.

I myself learnt that the hard way.

Also when you post, don't be childish about it, resolve the situation in an adult fashion.

Not like this:

Personal Message
thegodthatish whooo, Yesterday, 11:35 PM


Whooo check out your attitude. Is it a Devon thing. Southern softie

And as I said, don't post it on the board:



[!--QuoteBegin--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]thegodthatish  Yesterday, 11:43 PM Post #24 

[!--QuoteBegin-(Pineapple Hunter @ Oct 28 2005+ 10:28 PM)--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE((Pineapple Hunter @ Oct 28 2005 @  10:28 PM))[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]
Eternal H, strong to save,
Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,
Who biddest the mighty ocean deep
Its own appointed limits keep;
Oh, hear us when we cry to H,
For those in peril on the sea!

O H! Whose voice the waters heard
And hushed their raging at Thy Word,
Who walked on the foaming deep,
And calm amidst its rage didst sleep;
Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee,
For those in peril on the sea!

Most Holy H! Who didst brood
Upon the chaos dark and rude,
And bid its angry tumult cease,
And give, for wild confusion, peace;
Oh, hear us when we cry to H,
For those in peril on the sea!

O H of love and power!
Our family shield in danger’s hour;
From rock and tempest, fire and foe,
Protect us wheresoever we go;
Thus evermore shall rise to H
Glad hymns of praise from land and sea.

Its my favourite hymn.
[/quote]


I really dont care [/quote]

and then

[!--QuoteBegin--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]thegodthatish  Yesterday, 11:48 PM Post #25 

devon div  [/quote]

EDIT:

Seventh:

I have shown a typical newbie post below charlottes post.
Whats wrong with it?
It has [span style=\'font-size:11pt;line-height:100%\']NO[/span] words.

DON'T MAKE SINGLE EMOTICON POSTS OR SOMETHING SIMILAR LIKE:

'LOL'
or
'Funny.'
 
[!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--] So, this is how it is when PH writes her own material [!--emo&B)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/cool.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'cool.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
[!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]





(Above is a typical newbie post.)
(See how irritating to see it is.)
 
New Rule:
Do not start new topics the same or similar to existing ones. Read through or use the search feature to see if there already is a topic like the one you are starting. PH did this recently and I am guilty of it myself. It is annoying for other members and it is a childish 'BB' act.
 
Like decent music could be another one.

Why aren't I in the nicest people bit PH? [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
You got it all wrong PH, the only two rules are :

1st : never post on those forums
2nd : never go in the chatroom

and you'll be safe
 
I'm starting to agree with syl. This starts every now and then, usually when Maverick decides he's had enough with poor spelling. I always feel bad for the sob who sets him off. So here's what I'm going to say.

If a person has abyssal grammar, take a look at where he or she is from. Try not to be too harsh on a person who is obviously from a different part of the world. So long as that person's language form is an attempt at being complete, it shouldn't matter too much.

If a person seems to be purposefully avoiding use of grammar, then by all means, say something. But try something like this.

"Hi, welcome to Maidenfans...but I'd like to ask you to use proper English here. Abbreviations like 'plz' are annoying to the established membership and rarely allow for someone to contribute to a thread. The members here will appreciate your adherence to these guidelines."

A person worth having around will smarten up. A person who's not worth it will be confused by the big words and leave.

Let's try to not instaflame. Maverick, this goes for you too, please. Let's be polite before we're rude.
 
Well said LC.

I was half serious-half joking in my previous post but you're right some basic rules need to be reminded.

Another point, I don't know if PH intended to be serious with that topic or not but I guess she was unless she would have posted it in the Madness forum. But what is the point of a new guide for Newbies ? We have one already (which, in my opinion, needs to be cleaned). If everybody starts his own guide for Newbies it'll soon lead us to chaos, just like if everybody does his own justice, which is why the moderator squad was created.

LC, maybe you should think about making a new guide, for Oldies this time.
 
I've already started reworking the old guide on my comp. It'll probably find itself being posted in a day or two.
 
I can understand PH's attitude: The newbie thread that is pinned apparently does not work. Otherwise, we wouldn't have that amount of posts that piss PH, Mav, me and others off regularly.

The thing is, I can perfectly understand when somebody whose mother tongue is not English has problems writing in English. It isn't even my mother tongue and I get lapses frequently. However, I try my best to write in perfect English, as it is the language on this board.

Some things must be noted for those people too, however. As far as I know, languages such as French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Serbian etc. use capital letters and punctuation as well. For example, full stops end sentences, they always have and they always will. Even ancient cuneiform inscriptions used full stops. It's not that hard. Commas are another thing- I have problems with the commas in English too, it's not so easy with them, so I tolerate that kind of stuff.

Some things make me marvel though. Some posters here are teenaged and from countries where the mother tongue isn't even related to English, and they post better English than some grown native speakers! That can't be right!

And just look at people like MigDaimon: His English is far from perfect, but he both tries his best to write it properly, and it has improved over time. Why can't all be like him?
 
[!--QuoteBegin-Perun+Oct 30 2005, 04:38 PM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(Perun @ Oct 30 2005, 04:38 PM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]And just look at people like MigDaimon: His English is far from perfect, but he both tries his best to write it properly, and it has improved over time. Why can't all be like him?
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[/quote]

Now you make me blush friend….

Well, one thing that I always try to do is to re-read what I have written before hitting the button "add reply".

In larger posts, when it happen, I usually write them in Word, then call the grammatical corrector (is that right?) and then read the thing all over again. With this I was able to clean up the posts and find lots of strange things, like words written bad or ideas not fully expressed. Like Perun said, it is never perfect, in fact I would say that is really, really far from perfection. But that's the best I can do.

Abbreviations are really hard to people like me to understand… just to remember the headache I had untill understand what "lol" was…. [!--emo&:lol:--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/lol[1].gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'lol[1].gif\' /][!--endemo--] !

And I agree with LC, lots of time I have seen people in the boards doing stupid things, and then Maverick comes to them and act in almost the same way as they've done. And sometimes people did it with no means to be a "fucktard"
That's not nice Mav, I believe that you are clever than that and able to treat people with a little bit more of care. Think of that, right ? [!--emo&;)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/wink.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'wink.gif\' /][!--endemo--]

As for the newbie guide, I haven't read it for a while. But if I remember well, it really needs some revision. Its to long, isn't it ?
 
Isn't this forum supposed to be fun to post in aswell? I'm not saying all posts are supposed to be utterly funny but surely some humorous tweaks here and there (even the unintended ones, such as bat grmar) makes them a lot more fun to read.

[span style=\'font-size:8pt;line-height:100%\']To loosely quote Le Bruce: "The Moral Of PH's Story Is What Not To Do If You Don't Want Mav To Shit On You"[/span]

[!--emo&:)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/smile.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'smile.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
To me, bad grammar and spelling are mostly fun when intended, as in a pun. Are we going to succumb to stupidity?
 
Yes guys, i agree. Sometimes it's ok to go a little crazy and submit a post with something ironic/weird or what not....
When I first came here I had a little trouble with Mav, I don't recall why at the moment but I do know that I am now a better person (seriously). Of course we all were once newbies to this forum and I'm sure everyone has had their troubles at some times...
I'm not saying to be as tough as we can on the newbies, besides it's never good when two worlds (or sides) collide... but a little discipline helps!!! Don't you think???
 
[!--QuoteBegin-Panos the clansman+Nov 1 2005, 02:39 PM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(Panos the clansman @ Nov 1 2005, 02:39 PM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]When I first came here I had a little trouble with Mav
[snapback]121844[/snapback]​
[/quote]
Of course, you did! Everybody does! I'm the ogre of the boards! [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]

[!--QuoteBegin-Panos the clansman+Nov 1 2005, 02:39 PM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(Panos the clansman @ Nov 1 2005, 02:39 PM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--]a little discipline helps!!!
[snapback]121844[/snapback]​
[/quote]
I couldn't agree more. [!--emo&:)--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/smile.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'smile.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
Wow. I remeber the first time I was here. i was almost banned for spamming to much, although i spammed only the spam boards. Since then, i learned my lesson, and now, i believe that i'm a reasonable poster, with good enlgish, and i should be given as an example to everyone, as how a n00b can turn into somewhat of a valued member of the community. [!--emo&:D--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/biggrin.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'biggrin.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
[!--QuoteBegin-Black Ace+Nov 1 2005, 09:17 PM--][div class=\'quotetop\']QUOTE(Black Ace @ Nov 1 2005, 09:17 PM)[/div][div class=\'quotemain\'][!--QuoteEBegin--] with good enlgish,
[snapback]121894[/snapback]​
[/quote]


so close [!--emo&:p--][img src=\'style_emoticons/[#EMO_DIR#]/tongue.gif\' border=\'0\' style=\'vertical-align:middle\' alt=\'tongue.gif\' /][!--endemo--]
 
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