Homosexuality and myself

Metal_made

Metal_made

Trooper
I don't have any troubles with gay people, I even have three or four gay friends.  However, last week, I saw them kissing... I must confess I felt disgusted and I even was angry.  Then I thought I was being racist.

I don't know, probably I am, but the point is, IF DON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE WITH THEM, WHY DID I FELT DISGUSTED?
 
Re: Racism and myself

Since gay people are not a "race" you can't be racist toward them. I think you theoretically are pretty liberal and tolerant, however you have your limits. Some people may see this as you being pretty prejudice anyway and even hypocritical. I find it quite normal. Chances are you will eventually not give a shit, hopefully, but they too should have some decency, P.D.A (public displays of affection) between heterosexual couples bothers me as well... get a room for god's sake.
 
Re: Racism and myself

Well, considering that homosexuals don't constitute a race, I don't think your're racist. You are, however, closed-minded and inherently intolerant. Try to overcome it - I did.
 
Re: Racism and myself

IronDuke said:
Well, considering that homosexuals don't constitute a race, I don't think your're racist. You are, however, closed-minded and inherently intolerant. Try to overcome it - I did.
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Heh, it seems if people ask for the truth, they get the truth out here.

Intolerant but especially conservative towards unknown / new matters, comes to my mind.

But don't worry Metal_made, you have a good conscience since you show that you don't have a right feeling about it. I suggest you can change the topic title into: "Homosexuality and myself"
 
Re: Racism and myself

Forostar said:
Heh, it seems if people ask for the truth, they get the truth out here.

Intolerant but especially conservative towards unknown / new matters, comes to my mind.

But don't worry Metal_made, you have a good conscience since you show that you don't have a right feeling about it. I suggest you can change the topic title into: "Homosexuality and myself"
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Okay, I wil.
 
I think part of the answer to your question lies in our education. As much as we like to proclaim how open-minded western society is, I don't think it is all that open-minded. There are certain faux-pas' in society, and while being gay is not openly one of them, being gay is certainly internally one. I don't know about you, but when I had sex-ed back in the day, I was taught about heterosexual couples. Nowhere was I taught about gays, I had to learn about gays through the dictionary and through the media. Therefore, whenever I saw gays I thought of them as 'abnormal', simply because being gay is different from what I had been taught was 'normal', or even 'the only way'.

Still to this day I feel uncomfortable when gay men kiss. It's not disgust, but I'd rather not look. Then again, I don't like it when 'straight' people kiss in public either, simply because I think thats something you should do in private and not herald to the surrounding world (nobody cares you have a partner anyway). Here comes the paradox though: I don't mind lesbians kissing. Why not? I don't know. As long as their not invading my private space, and as long as they're being discrete, I have no problem with it. And I have even less of a problem with it when its in a TV show or a movie.  :blink:
 
Natalie said:
Here comes the paradox though: I don't mind lesbians kissing. Why not? I don't know. As long as their not invading my private space, and as long as they're being discrete, I have no problem with it. And I have even less of a problem with it when its in a TV show or a movie.  :blink:
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That's because lesbians are hot  :innocent:.  Ah,  damn,  I forgot you were a girl  :p

On a more serious note,  Metal_made,  you are ok.  I know what you mean by saying you felt disgusted,  but the fact that you're feeling guilty about it shows that you are quite open minded,  as it has already been said.  Your disgust probably derives from the fact that homosexuality is still a taboo in our age,  and you're just not used to seeing this.  I'd probably be feeling the same you do,  if I was in the same situation...  Hell,  I don't know how I would react if I had gay friends.  And I hate myself for this fear  :(
 
There is a distinct difference between liking the idea of something and tolerating it.  I have no problem with homosexuals, but the idea of...*ahem*...how shall I say this....anal penetration...is something I like do put a mental block on.  However, this does not stop me tolerating homosexuality.  As long as they keep their affairs fairly private, I'm perfectly happy with them being the way they are.  It's not 'abnormal' or 'sick' at all, and as long as I'm not exposed to every single detail of their private lives, I'm obviously not going to judge them.  And that goes for heterosexual couples as well; I'd rather not see them all over each other in public, but what they choose to do in private is their business.

Lesbians, however, are a different matter, mainly because everyone likes lesbians! :yey:
 
I'm a bit ambivalent on this issue. I have several homosexual friends, all of whom I like, but I also noticed a number of things about them I dislike. One thing I felt is particularly annoying is when they (I'm only talking about the people I know/experienced this with) get on their 'all the world is gay' mode, which sooner or later focusses on me. "How can you know you're not gay? I only found out myself when I was 20! You can never be sure!" That's the moment I just turn off my ears. Not only do I think they're talking absolute bullshit, but I also think that my own personal sexuality is none of their business.
Then, there is this other friend of mine. I am quite sure he is gay, due to a good number of things I witnessed from him, even though he would never admit it. In case you know the film American Beauty, picture the protagonist's neighbour (the soldier), cut his age by half and you know what I'm talking about.
This guy is changing girlfriends like underwear (well, not quite, but you get the picture), which always involves hurt feelings on the female side. Most of my friends agree with me that he is a huge arsehole when it comes to this and doesn't deserve any kind of relationship. Moreover, many agree with me when I point out the "gay in a closet" thing.

I don't care if they kiss in public (well, I had a problem with it once, but that is a bit of a different story), but due to the above-mentioned factors (and some other experiences), I am sometimes a bit reserved towards homosexuals (although I try hard not to, and usually, it works). Nevertheless, I still regularly meet with those friends of mine, and I also tolerate and accept homosexuality in general, and oppose any kind of discrimination.
 
Perun said:
I don't care if they kiss in public....
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I'm glad this was said. I don't have an issue with anyone kissing in public. We need not gawp at it - just let them get on with it. Yes, I know there is a time and place (and all that), but short of ripping each others clothes of, it's not really a problem.

Metal_made, I think some have given you a good answer as to why it may have repulsed you. I would say the older (and wiser - sometimes) you get, the more tolerant you become - but I would think you just happily accept it as real life. Those that don't tend to be either stuck in their ways, pig ignorant or just plain simple (and have yet to grow up).
 
Albie said:
I would say the older (and wiser - sometimes) you get, the more tolerant you become - but I would think you just happily accept it as real life.
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I don't think that can be said for such "taboo" subjects.  It would seem that most of the supposedly "older and wiser" are the ones who are too conservative and create the problems.  Of course there are exceptions.
 
SneakySneaky said:
I don't think that can be said for such "taboo" subjects.
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Maybe its just me, little phases me now and I don't think this subject necessarily as taboo. But I do get a tad irritated by discrimination, victimisation, etc. But you are right, the supposed learned people among us have given us the expression to use of them: "if they had brains, they would be dangerous". ;)
 
Moderator Action:
Urizen, no5: Please cut that kind of conversation out. The Forum Rules explicitly state:

Messages with a blatant racist or sexist content will be deleted and the poster will see his/her warn level increased.

In my opinion, reducing women/lesbians to sex objects is an extremely sexist action and does not belong here.

Since there are no warn bars anymore, I have kicked Urizen accordingly. With no5 that is kind of pointless. But consider yourselves warned.
 
Perun said:
In my opinion, reducing women/lesbians to sex objects is an extremely sexist action and does not belong here.

Since there are no warn bars anymore, I have kicked Urizen accordingly. With no5 that is kind of pointless. But consider yourselves warned.
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I think you are kind of severe, Perun.
I don't reduce any human, and especially women lesbians or not

...but anyway your post came in a good moment
and kinda save me from worst troubles
as I was ready to post a Tarantino's quote for
"one of the greatest f**king scripts ever written
in the history of Hollywood" about homosexuality :innocent:
 
Urizen said:
Sorry Per.

Still I don't agree with your statement about us being sexist.
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You should look up the meaning of "sexist", then. Sexism includes reducing people of the other gender to mere sex objects, and that was definitely the case with what you were doing. I know you weren't entirely serious about it, but it still is not acceptable.
 
Perun said:
You should look up the meaning of "sexist", then. Sexism includes reducing people of the other gender to mere sex objects, and that was definitely the case with what you were doing. I know you weren't entirely serious about it, but it still is not acceptable.
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I don't reduce any-one
...I accept the warning, I understood the concept of this forum rule,
but please don't say to me that I reduce women

"theres a grey place between black and white", Perun
 
Still I think my and No.5's post's were pretty benign. But you're the mod and I will accept the forum's rules of course.

Perun said:
You should look up the meaning of "sexist", then. Sexism includes reducing people of the other gender to mere sex objects, and that was definitely the case with what you were doing. I know you weren't entirely serious about it, but it still is not acceptable.
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I don't agree that we were reducing women to sexual objects. If you say 'I'd like to get intimate with women' that's not sexism, that's natural. Never mind.
 
I'll must say, I did read some of the talk between you guys (Urizen & ___No5). I think it did get a little bit too close to the mark. As Perun said, you may not have been that serious, but there is a line that is sometimes crossed (in that grey area between black and white) and peoples perception as to where that line is situated will vary. It's at that point we need to really take stock of what we say that may be deemed offensive to some, but OK to others. :)
 
Albie said:
I'll must say, I did read some of the talk between you guys (Urizen & ___No5). I think it did get a little bit too close to the mark. As Perun said, you may not have been that serious, but there is a line that is sometimes crossed (in that grey area between black and white) and peoples perception as to where that line is situated will vary. It's at that point we need to really take stock of what we say that may be deemed offensive to some, but OK to others. :)
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the above quote, Albie,
is a great piece of litterature !
with beginning, main subject, an epilogue,
even a coding message!!!
I appreciate that  :)
 
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