Bruce Undergoes Cancer Treatment (ALL CLEAR AS OF 2022)

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Razor blade is moving and the sharp edge points to you
He brings it to your face and so what are you gonna do
Your tongue has frozen, now you've got something to say
The barber at the gates of dawn is calling you his way

You watch your face exploding in a mat of hair
Glowing in the sun, the neighbours stop to stare
Say goodbye to shaving rash and every bloody itch
Say hello to looking like you're sleeping in a ditch

Your beard will grow, your beard will grow
Your beard will grow, your beard will grow
 
Bearded men have poop on their faces

http://nypost.com/2015/05/04/science-proves-that-beards-contain-fecal-matter/


The hipster beard revolution may still be a thing — but a shocking new study has warned that facial hair could be dirtier than a toilet bowl.

According to a group of microbiologists in New Mexico, the rancid bacteria that beards collect could be putting owners’ health at risk.

Microbiologist John Golobic, of Quest Diagnostics, swabbed a number of beards searching for bacteria for the study and found that some of the bacteria “are the kind of things that you find in feces.”

“I’m usually not surprised, and I was surprised by this,” he said. “There would be a degree of uncleanliness that would be somewhat disturbing.”

Apparently the key to a poo-free beard is to make sure you wash your hands regularly and avoid playing with and twirling the hair.

“Try to keep your hands away from your face, as much as possible,” Golobic added.
 
Anyway, gut bacteria are not the same as feces. Sometimes you'll find them on the skin, and even in beards. This has little to do with hygiene, given that you're covered with various kinds of bacteria at all times.

As a rule, any "shocking new study" that finds that there are unspecific nasty germs in some place that is crowded with germs (which is to say everywhere) can be safely ignored.
 
Just to think that I asked people to be a bit tactful in this thread ten pages ago...
 
It's a bit like the boy who cried wolf. Early on, when I saw there was a new post on this thread, I clicked the link because I thought there might be an update on Bruce's condition. Now, it's devolved into a madness thread. If there is actual news about Bruce's health, my hope is that a new thread will be started, because I've nearly been ignoring this thread recently.
 
Shadow said:
Razor blade is moving and the sharp edge points to you
He brings it to your face and so what are you gonna do
Your tongue has frozen, now you've got something to say
The barber at the gates of dawn is calling you his way

You watch your face exploding in a mat of hair
Glowing in the sun, the neighbours stop to stare
Say goodbye to shaving rash and every bloody itch
Say hello to looking like you're sleeping in a ditch

Your beard will grow, your beard will grow
Your beard will grow, your beard will grow
Click to expand...

This made my day! Will sing that the whole day at work now!
 
Cornfed Hick said:
It's a bit like the boy who cried wolf. Early on, when I saw there was a new post on this thread, I clicked the link because I thought there might be an update on Bruce's condition. Now, it's devolved into a madness thread. If there is actual news about Bruce's health, my hope is that a new thread will be started, because I've nearly been ignoring this thread recently.
Click to expand...
No, but I'll update the thread title with "New update", is that a fair compromise?
 
"We are very happy to announce that following his recent MRI Scan, Bruce was today officially given the all-clear by his specialists.

Bruce says,

“I would like to thank the fantastic medical team who have been treating me for the last few months, resulting in this amazing outcome. It’s been tough on my family and in many ways it was harder for them than me. I’d also like to send a heartfelt thanks to all our fans for their kind words and thoughts. I’m a firm believer in trying to maintain a positive attitude, and the encouragement from the global Maiden family meant a great deal to me. Right now, I’m feeling extremely motivated and can’t wait to get back to business as usual, as soon as I can!”

Rod Smallwood continues,

“We are of course all absolutely delighted that Bruce’s doctors have pronounced him free of cancer. Although Bruce is naturally eager to resume Maiden activities, it will take a while before he is completely back to full strength, as we explained previously. Because of this, the band will not be touring or playing any shows until next year. We know our fans will understand the situation and, like us, would prefer to wait until Bruce is back to his usual indefatigable levels of fitness before going out on the road.

For now, the focus will be on putting the finishing touches to the new Iron Maiden studio album and that is what we will be concentrating on over the coming weeks. The release however will definitely be this year. Meanwhile, I’d like to echo Bruce’s words and thank all Maiden fans. You have been incredibly patient, putting Bruce’s health and well-being first during this difficult time and the band and I appreciate all your positive support.”

From Iron Maiden Facebook.
 
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