So, up to this day, I only ever heard of Girlschool in the context of their collaboration EP with Motorhead as Headgirl; their rendition of Please Don't Touch is a cute and fun little song, though I'd guess there's just as much the novelty of seeing a band so primordially masculine playing together with an all-female band. Nonetheless, I do find this particular song to also be rather cute and catchy, I like the energetic feel... though the coda feels somewhat pedestrian. For a band I would probably never seek out on my own - and I still probably won't - I admit that the song has a certain appeal and I could imagine voting for it in other matches.
However, its competition is Thin Lizzy's Cowboy Song - which might be among my all-time favourite songs by one of my all-time favourite hard rock bands. Maybe the intro is a tad too cheesy, I don't know, but the guitar harmonies, the amazing rhythmic feel, Lynott's probably most emotional delivery on the entire album, the solos... this is one of the songs that I often have on repeat even if I'm not in a Lizzy mood. Heck, if I'm not in a rock mood. Thin Lizzy, and it's not even remotely close.
My relationship with Queen - after going through the amplitudes of almost unmitigated adoration at first and tired, annoyed scorn later - has settled in a comfortable zone of lukewarm appreciation. I still respect the whole band for their talents as both singers and songwriters, I still am genuinely awed by their production capabilities or melodic sensibilities and eclectic tastes... and still find them woefully sterile - for all their bravado and often almost cock-rockish attitude, they can't help but sound like a bunch of nerdy eunuchs and their output, though often beautiful, often sounds weirdly... "mechanical", if you know what I mean - and their quality control and overal ratio of good/great to mediocre/terrible is not really in their favour.
Thing is, I just hate when they're trying to "rock out". I just find it absolutely inadequate. They have the rhythm, they have the guitar tone, it just sounds... fake in a way. They feel like scientists trying to recreate "what is this thing called rock music you hoooomans do?" Stone Cold Crazy isn't as bad as for example Sweet Lady - which is a song so dreadful it brings the whole Opera album down at least two levels just on its own - but I've nonetheless never been a fan and probably never will be. I don't want to stress this too much - I don't really hate the song - but again, this is from Popoff's list and it feels precisely like the musical journalist's choice. Now, for Prophet's Song, for example, I would vote immediately.
LedZep were my first "official favourite band" I had and although the passing of time made me reevaluate and reassess a lot, there's still nostalgia, appreciation for their absolutely killer rhythm section and still probably one of my favourite "guitar heroes" of the era. Again, I'd pick a wholly different song for a greatest metal cup - Achilles' Last Stand, No Quarter or even stuff like Kashmir come to mind - but Heartbreaker is cosidered a classic and rather overplayed and rightfully so. The riff itself is fiendishly ingenious. My biggest problem nowadays is Plant - probably my biggest "falling out of love" with any vocalist ever, gosh, I can't stand the obnoxious screeching prick - but that's not that important, the Jones - Bonzo combo outweigh nearly everything, Led Zeppelin all the way here.
Taken by Force is - as a culmination and in many ways the perfection of the Uli era - my absolutely favourite Scorpions album and quite possibly the only one I love from start to finish without complaints. It is a rare example of an album where pretty much every track is absolutely killer and even in that competition, Sails of Charon are near the very top, probably the second best song after the nonpareil We'll Burn the Sky. The groove, the riffs, the vocal harmonies (and the somewhat untrivial harmonic elements as well), it all creates a fascinating mix which makes the song both immediately catchy and yet rather hard to overplay.
As for Sabbath's song ... well, I for the record would like to say that I don't hate the album nor the song as much as many do. The idea of Gillan doing vocals for Sabbath is not such a ridiculous proposition itself - definitely not any more so than Iommi playing with Jethro Tull or Sabbath going for Glenn Hughes only slightly later in their career - I think he fits and despite the rest of the album not always being up to par, this opening track is fast, energetic, really catchy (the vocal melodies have this subtle appeal that makes them stick in my head) and "there was no tequiiiiiila" is just hilarious. I would almost want to vote for it as for the probable underdog here, but I can't with clear conscience vote against a track as great as Charon is. Scorpions.
The next match is interesting. Both are these "hidden gems" of old-school NWOBHM, but with different strengths. Angel Witch sound more aggressive (or, well, harder, whatever your preferred nomenclature is) and are more consistent throughout, Diamond Head have this more laid-back approach and while some parts are definitely better - especially the mid-section or the soloing in the outro - the main riff and chorus and, well, literally the first four minutes are much more boring than AW.
Honestly, I always found Sucking My Love to be overlong, especially as it is sandwiched between the much superior The Prince (probably the best song off that album and maybe the whole NWBOHM movement in general, bar Maiden) and Am I Evil? In the context of the album, it's acceptable, but on its own the song indeed sounds a bit too mediocre.
I think I'll go with the lesser known, more hectic and more consistent Angel Witch here.
The next match is the easiest one so far, with the possible exception of the Arch Enemy - In Flames one. I am a huge fan of Cattle Decapitation, at least since they started being good (that means since The Harvest Floor at the latest, though Karma also has some great stuff) and although an admitted acquired taste, they are so competent at what they do and their overal shtick is so well-put together that they almost get a bonus purely out of favouritism. Now, with Death Atlas in particular, I'm wavering a bit, I admit I might like the albums immediately before and after more, but that still means it's really high above its competition. The title track is certainly majestic and feels like a properly epic close to the whole album, though on its own...
I'll be the first to say that the complaints about the overuse of Travis' "goblin cleans" (or, as one less appreciative review has dubbed it, his "pedo-voice") are somewhat unresonable - while I also think these were most powerful when used more sparsely, like on Monolith (still my favourite album of theirs, probably), I don't think the usage is cheap; on the contrary, I feel that their stated overpresence is surely exaggerated and that they still have their use. But I agree that they can do it better than here (see Lifestalker, for example) - on this track, the haunting, depressing quality isn't really to be found or at least it doesn't click with me and especially in the first half of the track I don't think the cleans really fit. Also, I wish the prolonged sombre, haunting outro wouldn't remind me so much of Alone at the Landfill, where this particular atmosphere came across a bit better as well, even though that track itself is definitely worse.
But that's nitpicking - in the other corner stand Celtic Frost, whose Circle of the Tyrants I don't like much even as the Opeth cover and that one has Akerfeldt and Lopez.
I mean, I would never deny them how influential and important they were, for various subgenres, but this sounds to me just like a slightly more technical Venom ... and interests me about as much.
So, one Decattlification of the Capita, please. Oh, sorry, sorry, I meant Chapel Decaffeination.
When I saw the last match, I honestly mistook Def Leppard's Satellite for Rocket off Hysteria (you now, "Satellite of loooove") and although it's not a popular attitude to have, I honestly prefer their synth-glammy era full of cheese over their somewhat pedestrian NWOBHM beginnings. There's nothing particularly wrong about the track - it just feels run-of-the-mill and unmemorable. I feel like during my two years as a radio DJ back in the day I must have heard, like, a million similar tracks. So let's see the competition.
It was during this last replay of Estranged, yesterday evening, when I realised how much do GNR in some ways remind me of LedZep, just with less fantasy-vibes and mysticism and more pub sleaze and alcohol (which isn't necessarily a put-down - LedZep obviously tried to be the torchbearers for The Who, even with actual 1:1 member roles, but I digress). Yesterday, with wine in my hand, I wondered how much of that is an intentional stylisation and what is just coincidence. I mean, Slash is definitely trying to give off similar "cool" vibe like Page - when I saw him with the double-necked guitar and those long black curly hair, it was just a "huh" moment, Mr Oral Sex himself has the same raspy screech that is just as iconic as annoying, just like Plant, they're a bluesy pub band that got enamoured with their own pretensions and started to dabble in more "high-brow" endeavours pretty soon... and for better or worse, Estranged in particular always felt to me like they said "okay, so we have our Stairway to Heaven in November Rain, but what about a second breakfast Stairway to Heaven?" But maybe it's just the chord progression under that "storm is getting closer" part, that's taken verbatim from there, isn't it?
Also, why is Geddy Lee of all people throwing the life ring at Axl?
Anyway, my ramblings above notwithstanding, I loved GNR most when they were grossly inadequate, meaning 'what is a band like this doing releasing such a megalomaniac project like the Use Your Illusion double release? What is a band like this doing putting freakin' Raphael's painting on the cover? Ten minute songs? Are you fucking kidding me?'
And yet it works (well, it worked for the Clash, didn't it?). I admit I like for example Coma even more and I absolutely get the people who can't stand this track, especially since this type of kitschy sentimentalism might be somewhat hard to swallow for your given music connoisseur.
But I guess that's where I come in. Guns 'n' Roses.
